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Hi Oloni, I slept with my best friends boyfriend. Technically. Years, and I means yeeaaars, before they started going out, I met this guy and we had a quick fling. We didn’t speak after that. Between then and now, I’ve met my best friend and had completely forgotten about this guy. Last week she showed me the picture of the boy she’s been seeing and IT’S HIM! I don’t know what to do, do I tell her or just put it in the past? I feel like it will hurt her if I tell her (she really likes him) but I also feel like it happened before I even knew her and so maybe she doesn’t need to know? Help.
11. June 2015
Tell her, these scenarios happen more often than you think. It’s not like you saw into the future and had a premonition that she’d be dating him one day.
Hiya. I never thought I’d be in a position where I have to ask a stranger for advice. But you seem qualified to help out. The problem is is that I am with a girl that I’ve been with for 1 year. We are very happy. No serious issues and we recently admitted that we love eachother. The major problem is my ex. She doesn’t interfere or anything but when I was with her she unfortunately miscarried quite late on in the pregnancy (we were going to keep it). So when it was the anniversary of the day she miscarried she contacted me saying she’d like to go and visit grave. Just me and her. Now I have been with my current girlfriend to the grave but I do understand where my ex is coming from. I am not in love with her any more but me and her did share in something quite special and traumatic at the same time. And for that I will always have some time for her. My gf is adamant this is inappropriate and I should not be with her alone whilst we are both vulnerable. She is the only person who should share in these moments with me apparently. What do I do because I cannot just disregard someone who had to bare the trauma of loosing OUR child but I do kind of see where my gf is coming from. PLEASE help!
11. June 2015
I can understand why your ex has reached out to you, when a couple decides to have a baby the biggest fear is loosing your child. This was something hurtful that you both went through and the truth is, I think this is still very hard for her. She needs someone to talk to about it and probably feels that the only person is you. But when you’ve moved forward in life ( with your new girlfriend) you really have to think about how this might make her feel. This is such a difficult position and I can tell you’re genuinely a nice person who cares about both people in different ways, but you’re in a new relationship now. Even though this is an incredibly sensitive subject you have to sit and TALK about this with your gf again and if you can’t come to an agreement.
I’ve recently broke up with my boyfriend of 1yr & 4 months & my girls are trying to encourage me to be on a girls holiday and be promiscuous as, I’m single , young and need to have ‘fun’, doing what people our age (21) do. They’ve explained that it is expected of them to have sex whilst on holiday because, it is what people do ( for me I’m shocked & disgusted because my girls are telling me, any man can basically run through if they like them) This doesn’t sit well with me as, my boyfriend was my first & Its not in my character to do such. Also one of the girls has a boyfriend for 2yrs + & has accepted that her boyfriend would most likely have sex with other girls and ,therefore thinks it’s okay for her to do also as, she is young and wants to have ‘fun’ Obviously I don’t agree with their idea of fun and don’t feel comfortable going on this holiday with them. How do I explain in the most respectful way I will not be attending!
10. June 2015
You say ‘I think I’ll be missing out on this trip, it just doesn’t seem like my type of holiday. Hopefully we can do something else another time’.
Hi Oloni, well done on your work! Sooo, I have a friend who has been on-off with a guy who has never committed to being her boyfriend. He is so unpredictable, is so up and down with her, always does things on his terms yet she keeps on entertaining him. My friends and I have advised her to move on and focus on herself but every time she does, he pops up again. I’m getting concerned because it seems that she is being much less transparent with us as she is aware that we are likely to discourage her from speaking to him and she may end up fighting a battle against him by herself. i am really worried that he is going to mess her up even more than he has already as he is her first love and has the ability to play with her emotions. She has recently been confiding in him about some serious issues and she feels this has made them closer as he is very supportive. However, I have a feeling he is going to start being an idiot once this tough issue she is dealing with disappears. He’s such an idiot and i dont want my friend to get hurt for the hundredth time. What do you suggest i do?
10. June 2015
You can’t do anything about it, but be there as a friend when she needs you. Stay out of it unless this is something she drags you into it and even then, you can still politely ask her not to inform or involve you.
HI again. Im the guy with the “gold digger” ex but judging from your responses need to clarify some things. I was NOT just talking about being successful when I was with her, I was always actively working toward it and to her credit she helped me as I helped her. I do not think I have “made it” at all. I am still working to better myself and do not think I am better than her at all. I love her. Its just that she was bitter when I had nothing, but is no longer bitter now I have a bit of a profile. It’s also worthy to mention that before this she would NEVER be so openly emotional about how bad she wants me. If I ever expressed doubt about us she would be proud and say “fine leave it”. Now she says to me her love trumps her pride and saving face. Also as a side not people should stop judging both me and her so harshly. I do not think her approaching me is a calculated move. I know her to well to think that of her.
10. June 2015
Thanks for coming back! And you answered you’re own question with the last sentence.
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