Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hey Oloni, I’ve been sleeping with my best friend who is also my housemate. I love him but not in a way to be in a relationship with him, however I get very jealous when he brings girls to the house. What should I do?
4. June 2015
You have slight feelings for him, they’re not all the way there, but it explains why you get jealous. My answer? Stop sleeping with him & find another way to sexually pleasure yourself.
I know infidelity is wrong. And judging by the responses you often give people you don’t condone it at all. However I have been best friends with a girl mate of mine for over 4 years. In our first year of uni (I have since graduated) we got very close and were basically together. I decided to pursue my studies abroad and only moved back last year. Whilst I was away we stayed good friends and since returning have had a healthy friendship. She has had a boyfriend since not long after I left but recently she and I have both admitted that we have strong feelings for each other and the feelings have not left since first year. We both acknowledge how hard it is given her current situation but she has said she feels like what we have is “real”. And had I not left her and her man would have never got together. Given that we both “know” this is the real thing do I still talk to her and encourage her infidelity or shall I suck it up and leave? which I am also tempted to do
4. June 2015
You suck it up & leave. If she wanted to be with you, she’d leave her situation. Why waste time cheating? If she did cheat, how would you be able to take her or the relationship seriously? If you have already made each other aware about your feelings, nothing else needs/should happen till you’re both available.
my partner and I have been friends with this couple for a while. The guy has been telling my partner how much he is miserable in the relationship and that he is not happy with his Fiancée’s weight. Well he even decided to cheat on her a few weeks ago and i feel really bad that we all know but her. She is now pregnant and he was the one who told her he wanted a baby! But he still continues to tell my partner that he doesnt want to get married and that he is unhappy! They will be getting married in August! And that’s when she is due! I feel so sorry for her! What do i do? Do i just leave it alone?
4. June 2015
Sadly, you have to stay out of it. Perhaps when your other half speaks to you about the dilemma you can advise him to speak up to the woman he is supposed to be marrying. This must be a difficult position for you to be in, but there’s nothing else you can do.
Hey Oloni, so I’ve been having sex with this guy for a couple years now, on & off. It’s been a pretty casual situation. I didn’t want a relationship or anything like that with him because he’s trifling. He doesn’t have the best reputation with females and from my own personal observation/experience I can confirm this. However we have great sexual chemistry and he’s the only guy I’ve been with that makes me enjoy sex. The issue here is this guy has a gf, I’ve known this now for a while but when I asked him he denied. It’s pretty easily found out through social media though, anyways I just ignored it because to me I’m not doing anything wrong. Not trying to take her place or get between them & I was having sex with him before I knew she existed. Anyways it’s getting complicated now because I feel myself developing feelings and I don’t want to end up in an even stickier situation. Walking away would seem like the smart thing to do but it’s easier said than done ? I tried doing that before and I just ended up here again. Plus I feel like he just gets away scotch free and happy. What should I do ?
4. June 2015
There is no special answer but the obvious. Leave & stop sleeping with him. The more you continue this relationship you have together in terms of sex, the harder it will become. And unless you enjoy dealing with hard scenarios, you know what needs to be done.
Hi Oloni I was wondering if you could make this qotd as I really need all the advice I can get. I was with my ex bf for 2 years before finding out I was pregnant. He straight away told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby and this was 12 weeks ago. He hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought he loved me the way I loved him. I just don’t know how someone can switch off their feelings so quickly. My problem is, is that I am still so in love with him and I really want to work things out. I would actually do anything to have him back in my life. What can I say or do to reassure him that this baby will not ruin his life
4. June 2015
If he’s not comfortable with your decision, then there’s nothing you can do to make him want to be there. I understand this u turn has become a sudden shock, but right now the only person who is important in this all is the new bundle of joy you’re expecting. You need to be around those who will support you and love you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but someone who can treat you like this after two years is not a person who truly cares about you. He has shown you who he really is, all you have to do right now is believe him.
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