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Hey Oloni. I basically have a “boyfriend fluffier” situation going on. came out of a difficult relationship and I started talking to some guy, honestly he’s made me feel so much better about myself and I thought I liked him. However I’ve realised that my feelings for him aren’t legit and I’m kinda falling for someone else. I’ve told him I’m not ready and I don’t want to pursue anything with him atm. We did have sex a few times but I put a stop to that. He’s a lovely guy and he goes above and beyond to try and help me out but he’s not getting the hints and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him but I feel like I’m already in way too deep. What can I do or say to him to make it clear that this isn’t what I want with him without really hurting him please?
31. August 2015
Then stop giving him hints and just be straight ‘I don’t think this is going to work out, I think you and I want different things’. You also need to stop sleeping with him and allowing him to do things for you, or you’ll just be sending mixed messages which will not benefit your situation.
Hi Oloni. Basically my bf has a history of cheating and being a player. Which he admitted to me. He basically has a v dirty past which I found shocking and didn’t realise was so normal. I’m not judging him that’s his past and he was honest but it just makes me uneasy sometimes when he admits he’s cheated on every girl he’s ever been with etc and the fact that when we met I was seeing his friend (not serious and turned out to be in a sly relationship anyway) but we liked each other and he calmly basically seduced me and I fell for him instead. Took two years but he basically stole me away from a nonserious fling and made me his girlfriend. Should I be worried about his past habits and whether he may go back one day and the circumstances in which we met? I love and trust him but I just get worried.
31. August 2015
I understand your concern, but the truth is everyone has a past, he was just honest and bold enough to tell you his. If he hasn’t given you a reason to doubt him, then don’t.
Hi oloni. My fiancée developed an addiction to masturbation recently and it’s been affecting our sexual relations a lot because he can’t keep it up anymore. He tries to focus on pleasuring me instead but I find it so disappointing and he’s really trying to cut down. I don’t want to confront him about it because I know he’s insecure about his performance. Should I just deal with it? I love him anyway.
31. August 2015
If he was your boyfriend I’d say think about the relationship a bit more, but he’s the man you’re about to marry so see this as a hurdle and help him. Talk to him about it, if it’s damaging your sex life, there are ways around it to help your fiance cut down. Keep him busy and find ways he can do so to avoid masturbating so frequently. If he has a lot of spare time, he will find a way to make masturbation a habit if he doesn’t he won’t.
Hey, my partner has a child and her baby father is constantly messaging her saying I love you and miss you and messages about how he feels about her and things like that. She ignores them and I feel she should put him in his place as he is being disrespectful to our relationship. How can I tell her without causing an argument? If it was any other guy I would say something to him but obviously he has to have contact with her which I don’t have a problem with. It’s the nature of what he is saying to her which is my problem. I just don’t want a drama but it makes me uncomfortable and worries me what she could be saying back even though she has been open and hoesnt with what he’s saying in the first place. Thanks
31. August 2015
This would irritate any one who was in this exact position. What you need to do is talk to her about it properly and communicate that it makes you uncomfortable and even though you know she ignores it you still find it quite disrespectful. Give it some time and be patient, the situation you’re in isn’t easy as you said. he has to have some form of contact with her, but that doesn’t give the father of her child the right to ignore the status of her new relationship. I hope it works out!
Hey Oloni, I’ve recently come out of an abusive relationship of almost a year. It totally destroyed my confidence and put my mental and even physical state in torment. Let alone my emotional health. Anyway I have met a guy not too long ago who is kind, gentle and passionate towards me. He’s mentally intimate with me and we have had sex once but it was intimate. He likes me significantly more than I like him. Do you think that I am rushing into anything ?
31. August 2015
It’s only too soon if you think it is, but I will say due to coming out of a relationship recently where you dealt with abuse, you should try and get some professional therapy and counselling
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