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Hey, I’m really confused right now.. Me and an old associate reconnected after two years and the first time I went to see him, we ended up having sex.. A big no no because that’s not how I am at all. He said he likes me but how can you like someone that you haven’t seen in two years.. Since then we’ve been meeting up and it’s like we always have sex. The problem is that I’m not the friends with benefits type of person but I don’t want him to think I’m running him down or forcing something. When we are together, it’s not even awkward and I always end up staying whenever I go there. 8. March 2016

Hey,

You’re just going to have to keep it as real with him as you did with me. Say exactly how you feel, if that makes him run then he isn’t the one for you. Don’t make yourself feel uncomfortable to make someone else feel comfortable.  We overcomplicate issues sometimes, yes being that transparent can be scary, but the alternative is keeping quiet and getting your feelings hurt in one way or another.

 

-Ebi


Hi Oloni, what do I do? I was laying in bed with my boyfriend this morning and we were arguing in the argument he called me his ex’s name not once but twice, his excuse was that he just saw a missed call from her on his phone and was thinking about it. The argument was about me going on his phone while he was asleep, he thinks I’m going on his phone to find stuff, which I kinda was doing. Just to check if he’s being loyal, he’s has now broken up with me saying there’s too many cracks in the relationship and we don’t trust each other. I said lets work on it but he’s saying no, we’ve been together officially 10 months but it’s been 2yrs and a few months all together as I waited to show him I was loyal till he popped the question. I dunno what to do I really love him and don’t wanna lose him, help!!! Btw I love what you’re doing, keep it up girl x 8. March 2016

Hey,

The error was in thinking you had to prove your loyalty for over a year before he eventually committed. I personally think there are trust issues that you have as a result of that wait and the different complicated issues surrounding loyalty that come with being in a situationship for so long. I personally feel like his swiftness to break up with you after calling you his ex twice in argument isn’t a good sign but all you can do is wait and see and by wait I mean live your life not stuck on this situation but open to receive the truth when it eventually comes to light. Everything you need to know past this point will be in his actions and the events to follow. There’s nothing you can do, you can’t force someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, to commit.  So work on yourself for now.

 

-Ebi


Hey girl. I don’t know if I’m just doing a little too much, but my boyfriend doesn’t text me good morning or good night anymore. He doesn’t show me affection as much as he used to either. I sent him a text saying I missed him and he ignored it. When I asked him about it , he said he wasn’t in the mood to be sweet and that he’ll respond when he is in that mood. When we were on FaceTime I asked him to show me some love and usually he will say a bunch of sweet things , but this time he said “me calling you is showing you love.” I don’t know. Maybe he’s getting too comfortable( We’ve been dating for almost 5 months now). Am I being a lil too sensitive and over analyzing? Or should I be concerned ? 8. March 2016

Hey lovely,

Hmmm with this one, there could be so many reasons why he is acting the way he is acting but it’s important that you don’t assume it’s you until you know for sure. Ask him honestly, that you feel like he has been a bit down lately and not as enthusiastic as he used to be and tell him to let you know if anything is up and listen to him, let him speak. Tell him you want him to let you know if you’ve done anything to upset him at any point so that you can move forward. You could be overthinking which is why it’s important to let him speak, you could also be right which is why it’s important for him to address things, not everyone is as forthcoming and some people prefer passive aggressive ways of approaching issues, which is never best in a relationship so you need to make him feel comfortable enough to address what he needs to address, good or bad. If he says nothing is wrong, tell him you need the romance back in the relationship and that you miss his good morning texts and would appreciate receiving them from time to time and see where that goes.

-Ebi


Hi Oloni, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2years. He met a girl couple of months ago where they became really close and started speaking all the time. I was not comfortable with this and I have spoken to him about the situation countless of times but he has refused to cut her off completely and I feel like she has feelings for him and she’s attached in some type of way but he doesn’t seem to understand.Im really confused,what do I do? 8. March 2016

Hey,

I think at the very least he should consider your feelings but that does not mean you’re right about that girl, (although ladies tend to be right in these situations, we can smell a shady girl from a mile away). However, he should make you feel comfortable with his friendship with her and reassure you that it’s just friendship if he truly cares about your feelings. So make him aware of how he is making you feel, ensure that there are boundaries in place. All you can do is trust in these situations until you are given solid reason to suggest that that friendship is highly inappropriate. If you continue to find yourself unhappy about this situation then you’re either going to have to let this issue go, or let him go. But the way I look at it is you cannot stop people from doing what they have every intention of doing, but you have every right to make a decision based on that behaviour when confronted with the facts. Hope this helped…

 

-Ebi


I’ve been dating this guy for a few months now. I say dating but it’s just casual sex. He says I need to be patient that a relationship is coming soon. I believe him because his opened up to me and told me things about his personal life that have shocked me. Lately I feel like he has changed and his always blowing hot and cold towards me. His attitude, the way he treats me and speaks to me has gone sour now for just no reason at all. I have spoken to him so many times that he needs to change but things are still the same. Even to make time to see is an issue. I care about him so much but I don’t understand why he has just switched up on me with this bad attitude. 8. March 2016

Hey,

You’re never going to know until he tells you, so based on the information you have provided, I say you fall back and go on with your life. Be open to the fact that he may not be interested in you anymore and there’s nothing you can do about that until you know the reasons why and since he isn’t being transparent all you can do is keep it pushing, because if you don’t do that you may find yourself getting hurt.

 

-Ebi


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