Hey,

You’re right it is disrespectful. However, don’t overanalyse the situation, it might not have been a date, that does not mean she wasn’t out of order for doing what she did without asking you how you would feel about it, but you just need to go with the facts you have right now and make a decision based on that. I would say you should sit her down and communicate your feelings, ask her how she would feel if you did the same to her…depending on her response, you can choose to start afresh with new boundaries in place to ensure there’s no re-occurrence, you can work on your trust for her (because I assume that may be in  question since you felt compelled to go through her phone), or you can leave if this relationship is no longer for you. If you choose to work on your trust, I think you need to write down the things you think are at the core of your distrust for her and communicate those things respectfully and go from there.  [Lastly, why the hell is her best friend helping you go through her messages? She has no business in this situation.] << *Ignore this last bit if you meant that she was having the conversation with her best friend* Hope this helps.

-Ebi

Any guy who finds you intmidating is not a guy you want to be with! Have you tried meeting guys through various ways? Through friends, apps, social gatherings. If you can try ..talk to the men you’ve dated previously (ones you’re comfortable with) and ask what went wrong between the two of you. There are several women who are extremely successful and have found love so do not see your success as a punishment! You worked hard for that, you should aspire to be with someone who can bring just as much as you do to the table. Keep an eye out on Simply Oloni next week. If you’re still having trouble, I think I might have something which will be PERFECT for you.

Hey love, chin up. I’m sorry about what happened and for how you’re feeling in general. I’ve been there, one minute you think everything is great between you and a guy and the next he totally switches up and doesn’t want to pursue things further. It makes you think, ‘well, what wrong with me?’ then answer is NOTHING. It’s not an excuse, but sadly there are a lot of 21 year old men who aren’t really serious. Not all of them, but there’s plenty. From what you’ve explained, it seems like he was only in it for the physical and the girl he’s talking to might just be the next person who’s time he’ll waste. Either way, keep yourself busy and off his social media as you’ll just feel more sad. Keep yourself occupied and with time, you’ll be alright.

Oloni

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He likes you, but he’s not that into you. You shouldn’t be playing the ‘treat um mean, to keep um keen’ game. Yes, he has other commitments but if he wanted something romantically, you’d feel it. Don’t lose sleep over this lad and try to date other people.

Oloni