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How do you feel about abortion ? 28. July 2016

Pro-choice.

Hey Oloni, ok so I’ve been seeing this guy for three months and been on a date practically every week with him. He recently told me about his break up from his ex of 2 years on the phone and how they both booked a holiday for late August to Dubai before they broke up. He’s not sure if she’s still going but it sounded like he definitely wants to fly out then. He mentioned something about the trip being non-refundable and now I just don’t know how to feel. I like him, but what if she goes too? should I just be happy he was real with me? help 28. July 2016

I can see why this would bother you, and what I would say to this situation is not to take what you have with him too seriously especially IF he goes, because there is a huge chance she could meet him there also. I’m almost positive there are ways he can get at least some of his money back when it comes to flights but at the end this decision is up to him. The reason I expressed that you shouldn’t take this relationship too seriously is because there is a chance that there might be some unfinished business between him and his ex. It just sounds really dodgy.

Should you be happy he told you? Perhaps, but it doesn’t change the fact of what is going on. Either way it’s been 3 months of dating, speak up and tell him it makes you uncomfortable, but you appreciate his honesty.

Oloni

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So I’ve recently reconnected with my ex after our breakup almost 2 years ago and he’s said that he sees me as wifey and wants us to try dating again. I’m conflicted because he was my first love, and the chemistry is still there, but I cannot shake the fact that he cheated on me during our relationship [I found out a year after the breakup from his best friend]. I’ve given my ex numerous opportunities to confess but he’s said nothing, denying that there was no other girl involved when I know that he’s blatantly lying to my face. I told him I didn’t want to date him again but deep down I still care about this guy. However, it’s just the thought of him cheating with multiple girls just makes me sick. What should I do – bury it or try again? 28. July 2016

Bury it and move on.

Oloni

Hi Oloni – keep Anonymous please?. I’m only 19 and I’ve been taking to this guy who is in his easily 30s and I’m really starting to like him but he has a young child with a crazy ex. Right I’m not trying to be no baby Mumma, I tried to cut it off but couldn’t because I do actually like him. Friends of mine saying I should cut it off because he is too old for me with a crazy ex and you don’t need to be dealing with that. We constantly flirting and sexting each other and he turns me on. There a real connection there besides sexual connection. I don’t know what to do?? I can’t figure out whether it’s lust or if there’s something actually there ? help please 28. July 2016

This sounds like lust. The age gap isn’t inappropriate but what is a 30 year-old man doing with a 19 y/o? Why can’t he find women his own age? You’re very young and don’t need the mother of his child giving you a headache, especially when nothing about this is serious.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of about a year and half. I still have a great relationship with his family and son. Unfortunately I cut ties with everyone when I found out he cheated and had a baby. His entire family knew and never told me. I felt betrayed because I started to feel like they were really my family. He believes I should leave the past behind but I just cant trust him anymore. I started seeing a new guy finally and my ex keeps trying to come back into my life. He constantly keeps in contact with my friends and even showed up to a friends gathering when he heard about it through a friend. I’m moving on but how do I get him to move on? 28. July 2016

Hey hun sorry to hear what you’re going through, you have every right to want to cut ties with his family regardless if there wasn’t any infidelity or a secret baby. You’re not together and you’re allowed to move on. I think you need to block your ex off everything to make sure he gets the message properly if your words aren’t doing anything. If he continues showing up at places without your permission (I mean your house for example) then you might need to report him for harassment. If he attends a mutual friends gathering then you’re just going to have to be strong enough to get through that. He is being extremely selfish, but hopefully your actions towards him will show him why he needs to move on.

Oloni

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