Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I’ve been talking to this Guy for about 9 months now, I’m the one who is always messages first and if I don’t message first we basically won’t talk. However when I message first he doesn’t give dead replies and seems interested in our conversations. I really like this guy but have no idea where he is at with regards to us talking and I don’t want to ask him how he feels. Should I just leave it and move on and should I still try with him without asking how he feels? 4. September 2016

He sounds like just a nice guy that replies whenever you message first. I don’t think he’s that into you if I’m honest. People who want something (even if it’s just sex) usually initiate conversations from time to time.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’m 21 and live with my parents. They’re over protective and quite old school. I normally don’t mind but when it comes to dating it means I can’t stay with bae overnight and I can’t even lie about going to a friends because they’re against that too. I can’t tell them the truth coz it will only end up in endless lectures from them, aunties and pastor’s on “Godly Dating”. How do I go about doing me without damaging my relationship with my parents? 4. September 2016

I think you should try and talk to them. Explain you’re an adult and that although you will take on board what they’re saying, you are allowed to make your own decisions. Even if he can’t stay around yours I don’t think it’s fair they make your own relationship decisions.

Oloni

Hey Oloni, so I’m in a relationship with this guy and he was in a relationship not too long before we became official. I recently took his phone to send something to myself and although I’m not the type that goes through anyone’s phone, i “stumbled” on videos of him and his ex being “relationshipy”. He was basically naked in one of them. I understand the relationship hadn’t been over that long but am I wrong for feeling like he needs to delete all that shit? And how do I go about telling him to. 4. September 2016

Hey hun, it can be easily resolved. Tell him what happened, explain how it made you feel and that you’d prefer if he deleted the video. That’s all.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’ve been friends with benefits with this guy for almost five years now. I’m in love with him and I want to be in a be in a relationship with him. I know he sees me as just sex and not more. Everytime i cut him off, i go back to him.What should I do ? 4. September 2016

Friends with benefits for 5 years and now you want a relationship? Hun this has been more than a FWB on your end if you were emotionally invested and since he doesn’t want the same, girl you have to take a bow and leave. There is no other answer. Try the no contact rule.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’ve been sleeping with my friend who has a gf once in a while for some months now. I genuinely feel like a hoe but we just end up doing it at times. I’m tempted to burn the bridge with him because we just can’t seem to stop but don’t want to lose him as a friend at the same time (btw there are no feelings involved from my side, and i think it’s the same from his side). Can this be anonymous please 1. September 2016

Hey girl,

it’s anonymous. What you’re both doing is definitely crap. You don’t respect their relationship, he doesn’t respect his relationship and he definitely doesn’t respect you, casual or not. I would suggest locking the friendship off entirely or having boundaries. There are literally so many options in this world, it doesn’t have to be someone else’s man and you definitely don’t have to be anyone’s fallback. Address what it is that is causing you to do what you’re doing. Boredom? Find a way of being occupied. Convenience? Distanceeeee or replace. Loneliness? Surround yourself with great friends and do fun things and or focus on your passions (obviously it could be any one of these or none of these…just giving you options)

Ebi A

READ: Q&A: Maya Jama x Simply Oloni

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