Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I broke up with my girlfriend because things just weren’t working out, she still wants to be friends but I’m finding this very hard cause I’m still looking at what she gets up to on social media, always wondering why she’s online at certain times of the nights. I’m considering to block her off everything just for my sanity. Am I doing way too much? Or is this the only way I can kind of get over her and not have this thoughts? 15. September 2016

Hey hun! Break ups are so tough so when you’re going through one, however, you must always put yourself first. If blocking her on places helps go for it. If she reaches out another way to ask, what’s up? You can either ignore or say ‘I think it’s best this way’.

Stay strong love!

Oloni

..cont. I’m currently not in a relationship and I feel like she’s dismissing the situation. But when I was in a relationship I never forgot about my friends but she doesn’t understand. I feel like if she continues like this she won’t have any friends to come back to ? 15. September 2016

Hey hun if they’re dating exclusively, they’re boyfriend and girlfriend that’s number 1. Second, this is such a popular thing that many people do and I get your frustration. Having a love life doesn’t mean you cant maintain friendships, especially old ones. If you’ve spoken to her already, you’re just going to have to leave her be. You can’t force someone to understand what you’re trying to verablise over and over and over again. She’s made her decision.

Oloni

Hey Oloni, I have a best friend dilemma. She’s recently gotten into a new relationship with a guy she really likes and wants to marry. The guy doesn’t want to make things offical (bf/gf titles) and just wants to see where things go but they’ve decided to date exclusively. Since them both making that decision she’s completely gone awal and stopped speaking to me and any of her other friends I’m afraid that she’s becoming one of those girls who when they get a boyfriend cut off all their friends. We used to speak every day-all day and now I haven’t spoken to her in over two weeks. I tried to talk to her about it sensitively to say that I haven’t heard from her in a while what’s up and she’s was just like I’m around and gave the deadest reply. Like 15. September 2016

cont…

Hi oloni, I’ve been with my girl for 4 months and feel like I like her more than she likes me, I’ve never had feelings for someone like this, she doesn’t like thinking about the future she has been in a long relationship before hand and wanted to congratulate ex on job promotion , I sometimes have bad spells where I overthink and say terrible things like on photos she posts and her last seen and stuff how can I make the relationship more happy again 15. September 2016

It sounds like you might be a bit insecure. Being in a relationship for 4 months is way too soon to feel these things. You should still be in your honeymoon stage! I do think you need to have a conversation with her and get this off your chest.

You mentioned that she’s been in a long term relationship, so talking about the future might be a bit much, it is still very early days. As for texting her ex, I can completely understand why that would make you feel uncomfortable. If you find her communicating with him more and more speak up and address it.

Make your relationship happy again by spending more time together and creating new fun loving experiences, but most importantly tackling your insecurities.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’ve been talking to this guy properly for about a month now but I’ve know him since Easter. However before I was still involved with my ex, so I didn’t really take him serious until recently since now me and my Ex have broken up for good and he has a new girlfriend and all that good stuff. Anyways I was wondering when do you think would be a good time to have sex with this guy, because my beliefs are kinda old school. Like I think you should a have sex once your boyfriend and girlfriend, but then I understand if it happens before that’s OKAY. But also I think if he’s already tried the good, why would he want to wifey you? Childish right lol. Let me know what you think 15. September 2016

Hey love, I think you should get to know this dude further before you think about jumping into the sack with him. Allow yourself to know more about his character and let the rest follow. I believe in having sex when you’re comfortable, for some that could be three weeks into a relationship of three months of dating and not exclusively. It all boils down to you.

One thing I will say is, if having sex in a relationship is for you, the stick to that, but don’t panic if it doesn’t turn out that way. A guy can pull a runner out of a relationship the same way he can inside one IF he’s just after sex.

Hope that helped.

Oloni

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