Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Dear Oloni, I am 27 years old and I have been married to my husband who is 27 for a year and prior to that we both decided we would wait to have sex before marriage. We have known each other for years and have a wonderful relationship. But there is one problem. I don’t believe in any sort of contraception due to my Christian beliefs. My husband does not agree with this as he does not want to face the prospects of having a child when he is not ready. I understand he may think that there is a chance that I could get pregnant every single year but there is a very slim chance that could happen as majority of women tend to have their second child 2-3 years after their first child. We are married and therefore the whole idea of using contraception is not an option for me at all (in this case so that we don’t unexpectedly have a child). He has now refused to have sex with me because of this and quite frankly I find this quite silly and extreme. I didn’t think this would be an issue hence the reason why I didn’t bring it up before marriage. What’s your thoughts on this? 21. October 2016

Hey girl, you and your husband should have really spoken about this even if you didn’t think it was important. I’m sure you must have spoken about sex a few times. You could have used that moment to slip in your beliefs surrounding contraception. Did you tell your husband that you wanted to live in a house full of kids by the age of 35? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t let him wear a condom hun. Who wants to take a pregnancy tests every week after sex? You need to think long and hard about what you’re saying and doing because this could play a negative part in your relationship if you don’t have sex responsibly.

Oloni

READ: 5 Tips For Having The Best Phone Sex Ever

Hey Oloni, I’ve been dating this guy for like a month. I’ve come to realise he has really poor personal hygiene at times, mainly his mouth/breath. One day he was kissing me I almost threw up in his mouth ?. I’m really not sure what to do? How do I communicate that his breath bangs sometimes? I’m easily turned off and this is a deal breaker for me. Help!! 21. October 2016

Oh no!! This is so sad. It’s such a touchy subject when mentioning peoples bad personal hygiene. If you were official I would say suck it up and tell him, it’s not a big deal and you should be comfortable enough to do so. However, you’re dating, so it’s more difficult. If you think it’s already a deal breaker then I would personally lose his number and not bother. You shouldn’t have to tell a grown guy that he needs to spend a bit more longer brushing his teeth.

Good luck!

Oloni

Hi Oloni. So I’m a guy and am in a relationship with this amazing girl. I love her to death but to keep getting this reoccurring thought of cheating. I don’t want to hurt her but at the same time it’s hard for our sechedules to line up to have sex. I’m afraid to bring this up with her. What should I do? 21. October 2016

If you’re in a relationship with an amazing girl why are you thinking about cheating lol? Simply COMMUNICATE and say you are horny and would like to have more regular sex. It’s not that hard lol.

Oloni

Simply Oloni Nominated in the Cosmopolitan Influencer Awards 2016

My male friend has had feelings for me for years, and I love him as my friend but have not been able to take him seriously like that as I am not attracted to him. We’ve tried being more than friends once and it just felt strange to me. I thought I could grow to be attracted to him as he is to me, and to at least be able to see a future as he values me a lot. Am I being ungrateful? Would I make a bad decision if I were to not pursue anything with him? Outside that, we clash on quite a few small things. 21. October 2016

Sometimes relationships are much better off as friendships. Do not force anything if it isn’t there naturally for you my dear.

Oloni

My boyfriend and 3 years wanted to explore an open relationship, at first I was hesitant but he convinced me. We had rules to adhere too, like we had to share who we were seeing. Take regular test. Funnily our relationship became stronger – fit a while anyway. We’ve been doing this since March. Now bare in mind I was Coerced into this situation. I didn’t take full of advantage of the situation until late July, i’ve been seeing one guy. He is absolutely beautiful and has soul to match. My problem lays in the fact that this other guy has caught feelings and it’s become more than just sex. I guess my bf has had some suspicion and now wants an exclusive relationship again after he has fucked half of his Instagram followers. He’s asked me to stop all contact with this guy but I know he’s still talking to some of his. I feel like I’m just holding onto the time we’ve spent but I also know that he is a good man and he does love me – is this just a hiccup? 21. October 2016

You and your boyfriend need to sit down and have another conversation about what you really want. You also need to take another sexual health test. If you have feelings for another person then you should let your boyfriend know, that’s the point of an open relationship. You’re open and if anything sexual or emotional from the outside gets involved, you have to say.

You might be going through the 80/20 rule with this other dude also, so instead you’re holding on to the tunnel vision of what you’ve experienced with him which is only 20% of him thinking it’s 100%. Either way you and your boyfriend need to pump your breaks and have a proper discussion as to what you both want.

Oloni

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