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Hi Oloni, I have stayed a virgin and I was planning on losing my virginity on my wedding night. I got recently engaged to the guy I am seeing for three years. I love him so much but throughout our relationship he has emotionally cheated on me and slept with other women and I have come about to finally forgive him prior to us getting engaged. I do want to marry him, but I feel silly giving me virginity to someone who couldn’t even stay loyal to me and is t a virgin himself. I am very tempted to hook up with a guy on tinder(hotel ting). Just a random one night stand to make things even with my fiancé for all the crap he has given to me in the last few years. We are do to get married next summer. I wouldn’t even consider myself a hypersexual or horny person it’s just purely to be even. However I would never tell him or a single soul. I’ve already been sexting guys on tinder and I haven’t felt guilt or bad at all. Do you think I should go about with the plan, is it possible to not feel guilt after cheating as a female ? I don’t plan to be a serial cheater and I rather get it out of the way before I marry next year. Hope you answer this.
25. February 2021
You guys need to leave each other alone. It doesn’t sound like either of you are ready for marriage. Having sex for the first time should be something you want to do because you’re horny, not to get even with your boyfriend.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, basically I’m at uni and also am in a LDR as he’s at a different uni. One night I got very drunk and my housemate who was supposed to be a good friend kissed me kmt. I kissed back not really thinking much about it, however I am not in the least bit attracted to him and can never see myself with that person, this happened a while ago but it’s still paying on my mind. Should I tell my boyfriend?
24. February 2021
I honestly don’t see anything positive coming from you telling him, especially if it’s a pointless kiss. But that could be more of a reason to tell him too? You feel so comfortable with your boyfriend, you’re able to tell him about a drunken mistake. How will he truly react? You know him best.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, love what you’re doing allowing us to have a safe space to talk. Okay quick question, I’m on a journey of celibacy and I’m approaching my 6 month mark next month. There’s this guy that I find super attractive and we’ve spoken on a sexual level. I want to fuck him and I’ve accepted that I’m only going to fuck him and dip but should I really come out of this journey for a nigga I’ve never fucked? Imagine waiting 6 months for shit strokes. I would like to hear what you think.
24. February 2021
Honestly, sometimes men are not worth the fuck.
Stick to your journey if that is something you want to do and have sex because, again that’s what you want to DO!
Be patient and perhaps try to remind yourself as to why you wanted to be celibate in the first place.
Oloni
God I love you, perfect timing. Here’s my dilemma… Rekindled with an ex from my early twenties last year during lockdown after years of no-contact. We broke up after a couple of months after realising we both are hung up on other exes. We continued sleeping together and I found out I was 3 months pregnant a couple of weeks ago with his baby. He’s trying to work it out with his ex and so am I (I have mixed feelings about keeping baby, due to body-clock ticking, I’d like to. But he firmly does not want to). I’m willing to put everything aside to raise my child but he’s just focussed on rekindling with his ex and her not finding out. Please advise? Do I go ahead to have my child without him? Do I just tell his ex? Any advice or recommendations welcome.
24. February 2021
Do what you want to do! I do think you should have a conversation with him as it’s important, but ultimately it’s your decision.
Oloni
t/w********suicide. My bfs ex girlfriend keeps trying to sabotage our relationship. She stalks me and my friends on social media via numerous fake accounts and she’s constantly trying to insert herself in my Bfs life after he’s adamantly told her he can’t be there for her anymore. She recently threatened to commit suicide if he didn’t at LEAST remain friends with her. I am not a witch so obviously I agreed that he needed to somewhat be present in her life so that this isn’t ok our conscience. HOWEVER I recently went on my Bfs laptop and found messages between them that aren’t on his phone. He was asking if SHE missed HIM? And calling eachother their “special person”. Obviously, I was bewildered but don’t want to act in a hasty way. So do I confront him about this or let it slide? (That’s the only weird evidence I seen)
24. February 2021
If he’s asking those questions it’s clear as to why she’s also finding it hard to let go. He’s obviously leading her on. The whole scenario is messy! I hope she gets the help she deserves, honestly because heartbreak can be extremely hard to deal with sometimes.
You have to think about yourself and this unnecessary love triangle. Step back from this all and leave..Nothing positive can come from this.
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