Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
God I love you, perfect timing. Here’s my dilemma… Rekindled with an ex from my early twenties last year during lockdown after years of no-contact. We broke up after a couple of months after realising we both are hung up on other exes. We continued sleeping together and I found out I was 3 months pregnant a couple of weeks ago with his baby. He’s trying to work it out with his ex and so am I (I have mixed feelings about keeping baby, due to body-clock ticking, I’d like to. But he firmly does not want to). I’m willing to put everything aside to raise my child but he’s just focussed on rekindling with his ex and her not finding out. Please advise? Do I go ahead to have my child without him? Do I just tell his ex? Any advice or recommendations welcome.
24. February 2021
Do what you want to do! I do think you should have a conversation with him as it’s important, but ultimately it’s your decision.
Oloni
t/w********suicide. My bfs ex girlfriend keeps trying to sabotage our relationship. She stalks me and my friends on social media via numerous fake accounts and she’s constantly trying to insert herself in my Bfs life after he’s adamantly told her he can’t be there for her anymore. She recently threatened to commit suicide if he didn’t at LEAST remain friends with her. I am not a witch so obviously I agreed that he needed to somewhat be present in her life so that this isn’t ok our conscience. HOWEVER I recently went on my Bfs laptop and found messages between them that aren’t on his phone. He was asking if SHE missed HIM? And calling eachother their “special person”. Obviously, I was bewildered but don’t want to act in a hasty way. So do I confront him about this or let it slide? (That’s the only weird evidence I seen)
24. February 2021
If he’s asking those questions it’s clear as to why she’s also finding it hard to let go. He’s obviously leading her on. The whole scenario is messy! I hope she gets the help she deserves, honestly because heartbreak can be extremely hard to deal with sometimes.
You have to think about yourself and this unnecessary love triangle. Step back from this all and leave..Nothing positive can come from this.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. Is it normal or common for women to experience more pleasure from solo play and toys rather than with men? I genuinely feel that sex is overrated and doesn’t live up to the hype. Everyone says ‘You haven’t had it with the right person’. Is this really the case? Do you have any advice for me at all? Thank you in advance x
24. February 2021
Hey it is very common, but you should try and teach your partners what it is you like in bed. I’d also suggest bringing your sex toys into the bedroom. You could use it during foreplay and in different positions when penetration is involved.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year and everything is going great. Over the past 6 months, I’ve been slowly losing interest in sex and expressed this to him and we spoke about being celibate together for 3 months, which have just started recently. I started losing interest in sex as I was unhappy about my body, but although I no longer feel that way, I still don’t feel excited about sex. I’m only 27 and I’m worried about ruining my relationship as my boyfriend has a high sex drive and when we started our relationship, I had a high sex drive too. I know that relationships are more than sex, and I am happy that there is more to my relationship than sex, but I can’t help but feel insecure that he might one day lose interest as I don’t fulfil this need for him. Is it normal to lose your sex drive at 27? Help!
18. February 2021
It’s normal to have a low sex drive and a high one. Sometimes we just just go through phases. This could be due to work, how we feel about ourselves, stress, etc etc. The question is do you want your sex drive to match his? If so find ways on how you can be intimate together to help give you that push to want to have sex. Plan a sexy date night, do something together which makes you feel great.. get intimate. It’s also best to let him know how you feel. There’s power in communication.
Oloni
My man went hotel with another woman and so i cheated back and now im pregnant with the person. After i confronted him about the hotel thing he continued to message her and stay in contact but was still declaring love to me? It was super twisted. I begged for months for him to lose contact with the person, he never. (I kept checking his phone etc) she was still messaging him etc (she is already in a relationship herself) so because he didnt listen after months, it gave me depression and so i cheated back, now i am pregnant and its the other persons (90% sure) i feel like telling him what he made me do, or should i just leave it?
17. February 2021
You need to get out of this toxic cycle with your ex and figure out what you’re going to do with this new life inside of you. I’d also suggest some therapy as it sounds like you’ve really been going through it emotionally. I hope everything works out well
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