Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
Sorry, I fell asleep
Hey, so I was seeing a married man we had a full blown affair. we fell for eachother… Fast forward his wife found out about me. As they have children she forgave him and they are working it out. Problem is we’ve not stopped sleeping together or seeing eachother. The wife is none the wiser, long term I don’t want the man. The way he lies and the lengths his gone to hiding this from his wife. I know I could never trust him. His wife believes I’m out the picture but I’m very much here. He doesn’t want the wife & she knows this but she has said she won’t leave him because she doesn’t want me to have him, he wants access to his kids & she has said she will make it difficult for him if they aren’t together. My issue is this is very messy, the last time she found out about me, she told me I should have came to her as a woman. What do I do now?. Do I tell her about what’s going on? . The husband has had an emotional affair in the past with someone else prior to me which she knows about, & again she took him back. There’s days I feel bad for the wife, then other days I have no feeling, as she knows her husband and his lies. She trying to hold onto something which is a joke. Do I tell her? Stay doing what I’m doing with the husband? Or leave this mess of a circus?
20. February 2023
For the love of God. Leave that family alone and stay away.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’m into a guy who’s quite a bit younger than me (he’s mid 20s & I’m early 30s). When we first started talking I thought he was around the same age as me & then he told me how old he actually was and the ethics has been playing on my mind. I’ve been losing sleep over it cos I can’t help my feelings but also we’re both not at the same stage of life so it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel intense connections with men often & he’s only one of 3 in my whole life I’ve felt that connection with. I don’t know, I’m just so confused & disheartened by it all. Do I just cut him off?
20. February 2023
I say give it a try if you have a connection. I think sometimes we place this heavy idea on having to be at the exact same place in life for a relationship to work. Give it a shot and see how you feel about it. Even if it doesn’t turn into a serious relationship don’t run away from something that makes you happy, especially if it’s healthy.
Oloni
Hey Oloni. my best friend became my boyfriend before he went to jail. we joked about getting married before everything happened but now he’s serious about it. I love him a lot but I know it’s not smart to tie myself to him but love smh. am I stupid?
20. February 2023
If it’s not what you want and you can FEEL it’s stupid. Listen to that because I agree.
Oloni
Hey Oloni! I desperately need advice. I met someone back in 2021 and we vibed really well. The chemistry is great too. But he never seemed to be straightforward about his intentions. We’d have dates, sex and it’s all good. I fell for him hard and I have never told him how I felt. Fast forward to last summer, I asked him what he wanted and he said a 3sum. It was shocking and that’s when I realized this feels like a waste of time now. So i ended things. It hurt but I had to let him go. Just the other day he texted and he wanted to have dinner. Now im confused what his intentions might be
19. February 2023
You asked him what he wanted and he told you, you can either listen or continue to waste your time with someone who isn’t after any serious commitment. Cut him off it will end in tears.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I need advise! Sex with me favourite fuck buddy tends to be painful. I don’t have any pain with my other fuck buddies mainly because they’re not as big as him. The man is a beast 😍 and I enjoy most of my time with him. But about a few strokes in I start feeling pain down there internally, I suspect it could be because this man hits my cervix pretty easily. Do you have any advise on how to take bigger dick?
19. February 2023
He’s definitely hitting your cervix so you need to communicate that he needs to be careful. Sex shouldn’t hurt, (unless you’ve consented to it). Try the spooning position during sex to help decrease the chances of it thumping at your cervix, we’re not trying to bruise it.
Oloni
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!