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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hi Oloni, I have been seeing a guy for a week (starting the Sunday before Valentine’s day) and we agreed to make plans for V day. When Valentine’s day came he was with his friends kept delaying what time he would come over so I told him not to bother. Do I have a right to be angry at him for not prioritising me, if we had only been seeing each other for a week? He had been saying from the start he wants to get serious but his actions on V day tell me otherwise.
15. February 2021
He’s not serious about you. Stop seeing him!
Oloni
I was seeing this guy for over a year and I fell in love hard, but he has a child and he cheated on me with his baby mum from there everything went down hill. I became really possessive and emotionally abusive because I couldn’t trust him long story short we kept fighting and it became super toxic and I ended it but I miss him so much I feel so lost without him and he’s gone back to his babymum, but I want him back should I just message him or leave him to it. I’ve never been so stuck on someone I feel like he’s my soulmate and I’m at a loss.
22. December 2020
Girl, you will find another soul mate. Why do you want this one so bad? He is the type of baby dad I pray against. He’ll always pick the mother of his kid and sleep with her whenever, clearly. Do you WANT to share him? Girl you need to let him go.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, a guy I was talking to allowed me to have sex with him after I expressed to him how important it is to me. We had to stop fore play one time because the worry of having sex with him was physically affecting my body language and he saw it. I specifically told him that I don’t want anything casual and I wanted someone who was going to be there and learn my body. I didn’t want to give access to me in that way if it was a temporary fling. He reassured me that he’s all in with me (he had continuously said he wanted a relationship with me) and when I asked him if he’s entertaining other women he said no. I consented to sex with him based on this information but then a few weeks later he tells me he’s met someone else and we can’t see eachother anymore. My feelings for him were not strong enough for me to be heartbroken but I can’t help but feel extremely violated because he knowingly withheld information that would’ve revoked my consent. I am having trouble dealing with this and I do not want to want to use certain words lightly as a lot of women have experienced worse and traumatic experiences, but I can’t help but feel violated and assaulted. I have been robbed of the opportunity to properly consent to it, because he knew me well enough to know that my answer would have been ‘no’ had he been honest with me. Am I overthinking this?
22. December 2020
Hey hun I understand you’re upset and you have every right to be. If the situation changed over a couple of weeks, he is allowed to change his mind on who he wants to continue seeing. He expressed himself and told you, he doesn’t get a cookie for it but my point is he continued to be honest throughout and didn’t ghost.
It’s an interesting one. I’ll post on social media and see what others think. I do hope you’re okay, make sure you try and speak to friends you trust about this if it’s still heavy on your mind. Sometimes sex can be complicated.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I’ve recently started dating a new guy. He’s Nigerian and I’m not. He’s literally perfect for me, attractive, good job etc. We were talking recently and I made a cheeky comment about Yoruba demons that was meant to just be a joke but I think he took it the wrong way, we never really got into an argument over it but I could see by how he was texting he was annoyed. Ever since then our convos have started to turn sour and he doesn’t message as much. My friends are saying he is childish for not taking a joke so I’ve sort of left it but I actually think he’d be perfect for me so sort of want to apologise and move on. What should I do/ have you got any tips?
22. December 2020
Urgh, let him go. Small play is making him vex like so. He can’t be that perfect if small banter is allowing convos to turn sour.
Oloni
When im out(side) with my man, i ALWAYS wear a mask. My man wears it over his chin and he doesnt listen to me when i saw ‘cover your mouth and nose’ and instead tells me ‘i cant hear you, take off your mask if you want to talk to me’. I CANNOT stand this. My mum is a paramedic and ive lost 2 family members due to covid. YET he still doesnt take it serious? What should i do because the frustration is unreal and im starting to worry about if he leaves the house to go shop and doesnt wear it. Especially since ive been explaining to him about the new C strain is more spreadable. ITS INFURIATING oloni, i am tired.
22. December 2020
Hey hun, extremely sorry about your loss. Do you have to be around boyfriend? I’m thinking you tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t listen, you cut off seeing him for some time to protect yourself.
Oloni
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