Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I have been living with him since august last year. In December of last year, I found out that he has been cheating on me with several girls. He brings them home when I go to work and makes me wait extra hours after work because “ his guys are around”. I’ve confronted him about it and he apologized and begged me but it’s really so hard for me to get the fact that he cheated but I am finding it more difficult to break up with him because I love him a lot. Please how can I breakup with him and what can I do to heal?
28. February 2023
You need to get rid of him. He asks you stay at work so he can cheat MORE? Do you know how disrespectful that is? It says everything you need to know about the type of person he is and it’s certainly not one you stay committed to. Read the relationships chapter in my book. There’s a section on how to move on from a hurtful break up. Please read it and please leave.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, a few days ago my boyfriend ‘jokingly’ told me he got another girl pregnant. I dont see something like this as a joke, especially since he has cheated in the past. He says it was just a ‘joke’ because he was annoyed with me. I mentioned that due to his past cheating its a concerning thing to ‘joke’ about and he says it would never happen. im now worried that it wasnt a joke, whats your opinion?
28. February 2023
You need to have a conversation and give him a chance to be serious. Tell him this is an opportunity to be truthful before you hear it anywhere else. What kind of stupid joke is that? If it’s true you need to run. If it is false explain that he needs to switch his brain on and to learn not to be so insensitive.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been with my partner for a few years now, we are planning to get married and everything. He’s the only man I’ve presented to my family and vice versa. Because of work, we are away of each other for awhile, I haven’t seen him for 7 months which has been very hard as we were living together and I was used to be with him all the time. Last month I went out with friends, I met this guy who was interested in me but I immediately told him I have someone, we talked for awhile about everything, and by the end I would say there was a bit of flirting with the eyes, and I blowed him a kiss when he left. I declined to give him my number or any of my social media even if he was cute and interesting. 2/3 weeks later, I saw him in another party and I was really really drunk (it is bad and it shouldn’t be an excuse I know), I started to tell him that he shouldn’t get close to girls I know and then I don’t remember much but my friend told me the only bad thing I did was me looking for him through night and talking quite a lot about him. I feel so bad because I know the way I behaved isn’t right, even if there was no kiss, number exchanged or anything. I’m not interested in the other guy at all, I think I liked the attention more than anything else. I have been told to not tell my partner anything and to learn my lessons. But I believe it is important to be honest, and at the same time I’m scared this could break his trust which means break our relationship. Do you think I should tell my man? And if yes, should I do it now that he’s abroad or first thing when he’s back?
28. February 2023
Chile, I thought you were gonna tell me you sucked a bit of dick. Please let this go.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, congratulations on your engagement!! I went on a date with a guy and things didn’t work out. He wasn’t my usual type so I didn’t think too much about it. I didn’t disclose too much in my girls group chat but I did let one of my friends know in more detail. She gave me advice during but it came to a point she was a little too involved. She even got angry once when I didn’t answer her call because I was on the phone to him. Single life can be lonely and I didn’t want to leave her hanging but I did tell her to relax. I didn’t want to give her too much detail about how things ended. She has asked a few times but I always keep it vague. The gag is, she mentioned he added her on instagram. I couldn’t care less about instagram and also, he doesn’t know she is my friend. More recently, she mentioned him again. She told me they actually have a few mutuals (who I don’t know personally) who have said they would be a good match. We only went on one date and I am not one to stand in the way of anyone’s happiness. But why am I not receiving this love back from her? It’s not about him, it’s the principle, she was obviously jealous. If they decide to go on a date, I would feel guilty to stand in her way. Jealousy is a natural feeling, especially when you are single however I am starting to look at her differently, especially with past situations and advice she has given me. Do you think I should cut her off? Or keep her at an arms length in future? We have been friends since primary school so it just feels like a big decision to end a friendship over a man who isn’t even my type.
28. February 2023
If this was a guy from years ago, I’d say “sis let it go” but this all seems fairly recent and to me, it makes her sound like a desperate weirdo. Why would you want to entertain someone, your friend had just finished entertaining? I understand it was one date, but have some decorum. 😂 it’s like she was annoyed with you because you had a love life and now she’s thinking about dating that very same person. Keep her at arm’s-length.
oloni
Hi oloni, I feel like my partner has been cheating on me during my pregnancy, and he gave me chlamydia back in December 2022 I gave birth to a healthy baby boy July but now we are in a committed relationship I feel I can’t trust him he has told me he is dedicated to our family but I don’t know if this is what I want as there’s no trust and I feel like he’s continued to sleep around with females outside of london
28. February 2023
Hey thank you for writing in. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. I’m sorry you never had a faithful partner. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave you deserve a fresh start, especially after your emotions and sexual health has been taken for granted. I would suggest communicating to him about where your mind and heart is at. i’d also really suggest speaking to a therapist who can unpack your situation to guide you towards the answers you need. I personally believe you need to get out of this as soon as possible and I hope you do for you and your baby
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!