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Sorry, I fell asleep

Hi Oloni. So basically my man and his family live like animals. I’ve been with him for a year but only recently, I’ve been going down to his. When I tell you how FILTHY his house is. Him and his family aren’t ashamed. Whenever I go down, I’m always on the edge of the sofa. I used to hint so many times that he should help around the house but he doesn’t catch on. So last week I told him that the whole house is a pigsty and do you know what he said?! He said “It’s just a little bit of clutter”. When in reality, there’s clumps of hair stuck in the shower drain, grime on the windows, around the shower and bathtub, dirty knickers and boxers in the bathroom, dog and cat shit in the living room. There’s so much more but I’m gagging thinking about how dirty his house is. It’s so bad that now I’ve stopped having sex with him. He showers twice a day and when he’s with me at my house, his clothes are always clean and washed but when he’s home, he sees nothing wrong with the way he lives. Idk what to do. It’s so unattractive. Am I being stupid? Clearly someone needs to hire a maid for that family. Wtf should I do
5. April 2018
Omg ew!
You need to tell him how you feel and explain how disgusting it is. It’s very possible that eventually his unhygienic habits will start to show when he’s with you as the relationship goes on.
Oloni
hi oloni, I’m 21yo cis/het woman. I’ve never really watched porn but am interested to try and have no idea where to start. I’m really not into fake/rly unrealistic women’s bodies which is why i think I’ve stayed away. do u have any tips where to start?
5. April 2018
Try Erika Lust!! Her work on pornography is amazing and is based on what porn should really be like.
So I was seeing this guy for about 10 months. He introduced me to his younger sister and his 5 year old brother during the course of our relationship. I was getting to know the sister but majority of the time the little brother would be “out with his mum”. Anyways, long story short, I found out his “little brother” was actually his SON…. So I ended it because if you can lie about your own son I assume you can pretty much lie about anything else and I honestly don’t have time. But my question is (now looking back) do you think he lied about it because he was maybe still seeing the baby mother? I truly can’t figure out a reason so your opinion would be very welcomed x
5. April 2018
Wow. Lying about a whole son is scary as fuck. I cant tell you why he lied because I do not know him. However you believing he could have lied about about other things makes sense.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, what do you do when you feel like the man in the relationship. My boyfriend of a few years has got a job which barely gives him hours in other words he’s broke. We barely go out I mean we can go 3+ months without any dates or anything. Recently though I’ve got a car and he’s often asking me to pick him up etc and makes little comments like buy me this or buy me that. Its really beginning to piss me off I feel like his mother sometimes. I know I need to be patient he will come up soon but I cant help but feeling irritated that im doing somewhat better than him.
3. April 2018
Hey hun! You’re going to start feeling some sort of resentment towards him, if you don’t speak up and tell him how you feel.
If you feel likd he’s slacking, have a conversation with your partner and explain this.
If nothing changes, it’s down to you to decide if you’d like to stay or not.
oloni
Hey Oloni this is kinda strange for me but I have no one eke I trust who I can talk to or get advice from. So basically my boyfriend & I got into a fight yesterday it wasn’t even over anything big but it got really heated really quick. I tend to just get out of the car when he’s shouting at me because it really gets to my head and I feel trapped being in a car with someone shouting @ me. Anyways so I got out and he followed me and grabbed my arm really hard and dragged me back to the car, holding my neck & everything, then he started going off again shouting @ me, calling me names etc etc so I tried to get out again & he took my phone. Then when I tried to get out another time because he just wouldn’t stop screaming, he pulled my wig off while he was driving and start screaming at me, & he did this twice so aggressively.. I know ppl will think that part is funny but it really has me feeling some time of way & I woke up this morning with really bad bruises from where he dragged me. I dunno what to do or how to feel I don’t want to say domestic abuse or anything bc I know some ppl have it much worse. But I also had work after all this and I just couldn’t stop crying & bes apologised & I guess I’m just trying to figure out what to do next. I wouldn’t report to police or anything but I just feel so traumatised by it & bre he ripped the lace on the wig when he pulled it off… I haven’t spoken to him properly other than when he apologised but what should I do? Would this be considered abuse? Thanks in advance xx
3. April 2018
My heart is aching for you. This is extremely traumatising. You tried to escape a very toxic situation and he forced you to back into the problem again. This is definitely a form of domestic abuse..he put his hands on you on several occasions and he should have to deal with the consequences.
I think it’d be wise to tell someone you trust and who you consider close to you, if you don’t want to go to the police. This is so at least someone else knows, in case he tries to pull another stupid stunt in the future. It won’t look random, because you’ve informed another person.
Please stay away from him. This type of human doesn’t change overnight and will definitely be abusive in the future.
Oloni
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