Hi oloni, I am currently with my boyfriend a lot now days and I do feel attracted to him but there are times where he tries it sexually and I say no , on more than three occasions I have told him no to trying to suck my breast but when we’re talking he’ll randomly suck them and where I am not In the mood he gets annoyed and says ‘is it bad that I just want to suck your breast’ I just feel like if I don’t want somethjgn being done to my body at that moment in time it should be respected ?
9. April 2018
This is sexual assault. You’re completely within your right to make it clear when you don’t want your body touched. Him being your boyfriend doesn’t make him entitled to it. Have a think about the future of this relationship long and hard. A partner who doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer is a dangerous one and I think it’s best if you leave.
Oloni
Oloni I’ve lied to my man about my body count and I don’t know if or how to tell him the truth because this is turning into something serious
8. April 2018
Why does him knowing how many men you’ve slept with matter?? This is why you’re supposed to be private about it. Have a conversation explaining why you lied.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, sigh where do i even begin. Ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months now, hes a very respectable guy helps out at home with bills works hard ect. When we first started going out he was so amazing and used to show me so Much love & care. Now he doesnt even like kissing me in public or hugging me, i barely get compliments from him & he always tells me he doesnt care if he loses me yet when I suggest breaking up he says no that he wants to be with me. I feel so tired Oloni all i crave is love, he even refuses to go down on me just because ive had sex with one other person who was my ex of 2 years. I do loads for this guy but he seems to care when it’s convenient and i shouldnt be feeling like this after 10 months. Thank you
7. April 2018
I’m so confused. If he doesnt make you happy, why are you still with him? It’s coming off as desperate.
Break up with him already and work on your self esteem. This sounds like torture, relationships are SO pointless if you’re not benefiting from it.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. The other day, I snooped and found out my man, whom I’m in a serious relationship with, was sexting some other girl. I got this from a chat he had with his best buddy. Apparently, my man was down for it but wanted to know what his friend thought cos this friend and the girl have some sexual history. Best bud didnt care about him having sex with her but still discouraged him cos of me. I however noted that my man was more concerned with what his friend thought and was down with sexing her since there was way I’d find out cos the girl and I don’t know each other. He also mentioned in the chat hiw he just wants sex and how he can’t experience so much with me (I sometimes get pain during sex in certain positions). We sort of had something a bit similar to this just last month and so now I dont really know if i should confront him again cos then my new snooping pattern would become obvious. So, I don’t know if I should confront him, break it off and move on or stay and give him another chance since he hasn’t physically cheated. I honestly would like to revenge by doing the same thing he did but that’s not really my thing. I’m young (20s)and don’t have much experience with dating. I really hope you have some kind of advice to give me. Thanks.
7. April 2018
Not much advice to give here other than to break up with him.
He’s cleat untrustworthy and has probably slept with other women.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’m a black trans woman from London and dating has been really hard. Even though I look really feminine (I’ve fully transitioned) being open about being trans has almost barred me from having a relationship. I only like black men, in particular nigerian men and it’s been quite hard to find any that are into me and from London. I don’t want to lead any one on and end up doing something and it blowing up in my face. I’ve tried dating sites but nothing works, I only get old white men lol. Any tips?
5. April 2018
Hey hun! Dating in itself can be quite tricky so I understand what you mean, especially as you identify as a trans woman. It’s good when you know what type of guy you’re after but try to be open minded when it comes to what boxes you want ticked.
Still stick to dating apps, but also go to the gym on Monday nights (lol), go to different bars on Friday nights. Try to make new friends (use Meet Up) in order to meet new people. If you create a new network of friends, you also allow yourself the chance to find a new love interest.
When it comes to sharing that you’re a trans woman, i think it’s best to read each situation independently and to tell them when YOU feel comfortable and ready, just try not to wait too long.
Good luck & feel free to keep me posted.
Oloni
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