Hi Oloni, I’m a black trans woman from London and dating has been really hard. Even though I look really feminine (I’ve fully transitioned) being open about being trans has almost barred me from having a relationship. I only like black men, in particular nigerian men and it’s been quite hard to find any that are into me and from London. I don’t want to lead any one on and end up doing something and it blowing up in my face. I’ve tried dating sites but nothing works, I only get old white men lol. Any tips?
5. April 2018
Hey hun! Dating in itself can be quite tricky so I understand what you mean, especially as you identify as a trans woman. It’s good when you know what type of guy you’re after but try to be open minded when it comes to what boxes you want ticked.
Still stick to dating apps, but also go to the gym on Monday nights (lol), go to different bars on Friday nights. Try to make new friends (use Meet Up) in order to meet new people. If you create a new network of friends, you also allow yourself the chance to find a new love interest.
When it comes to sharing that you’re a trans woman, i think it’s best to read each situation independently and to tell them when YOU feel comfortable and ready, just try not to wait too long.
Good luck & feel free to keep me posted.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. So basically my man and his family live like animals. I’ve been with him for a year but only recently, I’ve been going down to his. When I tell you how FILTHY his house is. Him and his family aren’t ashamed. Whenever I go down, I’m always on the edge of the sofa. I used to hint so many times that he should help around the house but he doesn’t catch on. So last week I told him that the whole house is a pigsty and do you know what he said?! He said “It’s just a little bit of clutter”. When in reality, there’s clumps of hair stuck in the shower drain, grime on the windows, around the shower and bathtub, dirty knickers and boxers in the bathroom, dog and cat shit in the living room. There’s so much more but I’m gagging thinking about how dirty his house is. It’s so bad that now I’ve stopped having sex with him. He showers twice a day and when he’s with me at my house, his clothes are always clean and washed but when he’s home, he sees nothing wrong with the way he lives. Idk what to do. It’s so unattractive. Am I being stupid? Clearly someone needs to hire a maid for that family. Wtf should I do
5. April 2018
Omg ew!
You need to tell him how you feel and explain how disgusting it is. It’s very possible that eventually his unhygienic habits will start to show when he’s with you as the relationship goes on.
Oloni
hi oloni, I’m 21yo cis/het woman. I’ve never really watched porn but am interested to try and have no idea where to start. I’m really not into fake/rly unrealistic women’s bodies which is why i think I’ve stayed away. do u have any tips where to start?
5. April 2018
Try Erika Lust!! Her work on pornography is amazing and is based on what porn should really be like.
So I was seeing this guy for about 10 months. He introduced me to his younger sister and his 5 year old brother during the course of our relationship. I was getting to know the sister but majority of the time the little brother would be “out with his mum”. Anyways, long story short, I found out his “little brother” was actually his SON…. So I ended it because if you can lie about your own son I assume you can pretty much lie about anything else and I honestly don’t have time. But my question is (now looking back) do you think he lied about it because he was maybe still seeing the baby mother? I truly can’t figure out a reason so your opinion would be very welcomed x
5. April 2018
Wow. Lying about a whole son is scary as fuck. I cant tell you why he lied because I do not know him. However you believing he could have lied about about other things makes sense.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, what do you do when you feel like the man in the relationship. My boyfriend of a few years has got a job which barely gives him hours in other words he’s broke. We barely go out I mean we can go 3+ months without any dates or anything. Recently though I’ve got a car and he’s often asking me to pick him up etc and makes little comments like buy me this or buy me that. Its really beginning to piss me off I feel like his mother sometimes. I know I need to be patient he will come up soon but I cant help but feeling irritated that im doing somewhat better than him.
3. April 2018
Hey hun! You’re going to start feeling some sort of resentment towards him, if you don’t speak up and tell him how you feel.
If you feel likd he’s slacking, have a conversation with your partner and explain this.
If nothing changes, it’s down to you to decide if you’d like to stay or not.
oloni
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