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Hi Oloni, love your blog. My ex found out I cheated on him and has hated me since then. I got pregnant and it turned out he was the father. He has never been interested in helping me raise our child, wasn’t there when I gave birth and gave me full custody and hasn’t seen my son since he was born. 6 years later he’s now married and has 2 kids from that relationship. His only contribution to our son is child maintenance other than that he has taken zero part in raising him nor has he come to see him. My son recently asked why he has no dad and it made feel horrible. I feel like my actions have caused this. I tried to get in contact with him but he doesn’t respond and now I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?
19. March 2018
Heya! I feel like the father of your child is punishing you and your kid for something you did. It’s unfair and very cold. The truth is you can’t force him to be there, but instead do your best to raise your child. It’s sad and I hope you get a chance to at least speak to him, so you can explain what you’ve shared with me today.
Oloni
Hi Oloni I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months now. We’ve known each other for longer but only started seeing each other recently. I brought up the whole boyfriend girlfriend question and he was hesitant about it. We didn’t see each other for two weeks because I was away but now I’m back he says he’s busy with work and hasn’t made any effort to see me at all. What should I do?
16. March 2018
Use your head.
Oloni
Hi oloni, any advice on how to not give up hope on Love? I’m 18 and have seen two guys in my past, both of whom emotionally manipulated me into thinking they liked me a lot when they just wanted to beat. I feel like no guy will want me for anything more than that, they just seem to rate my looks and want to beat. I think about this everyday and I’m already on this path of thinking that finding a genuine partner who loves me is not meant to happen for me ever, especially when a lot of my peers seem to be finding the love of their lives whilst I still have yet to find anyone
16. March 2018
Hey hun, you’re way too young to even have the idea of giving up on love in your head. When you’re at this age you’re still very new to the dating game, but the truth is experiences will allow you to know when to call bullshit.
You’ll be fine!
Oloni
Hi oloni, my girlfriend has gotten super fat recently and the idea of having sex with her now repulses me. Don’t get me wrong I still love her but I can’t sex anymore. If she’s on top she’s out of breath in 30 seconds and sweats profusely all over me. I still want to be with her, she’s a lovely woman but the weight is too much. I told her once she gained weight and she ended up not speaking to me for a while (she’s a really sensitive person). Now she’s probably 15kg heavier. It’s been about a month since we had sex and now she’s asking all types of questions and I just tell her I’m just stressed from work. I don’t want it to end and I don’t know how to tell her this without things going left. Any tips?
16. March 2018
She’s your girlfriend so I’m sure you know her well enough to find a polite way to discuss her weight and what it’s doing to your sex life. She may still get offended, but it’s important to explain you’re telling her how you feel because you love her (I hope you love her).
Why not go to the gym with her and perhaps help her with a new diet.
If nothing changes, then I think it’s best you leave her and allow her to find someone who will love her for who she is and what she looks like.
Oloni
Hi oloni, i cheated on my boyfriend but it was a complete accident. I’m so ashamed and i know it being an accident isn’t good enough. I love him to bits and if i tell him i know he will leave. He’s amazing and i can’t lose him. What do i do?
16. March 2018
I think you should tell him, give him the opportunity to decide whether or not he wants to stay. You cheating and lying about the exclusivity of your relationship is the ultimate type of betrayal.
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