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Hey Oloni this is kinda strange for me but I have no one eke I trust who I can talk to or get advice from. So basically my boyfriend & I got into a fight yesterday it wasn’t even over anything big but it got really heated really quick. I tend to just get out of the car when he’s shouting at me because it really gets to my head and I feel trapped being in a car with someone shouting @ me. Anyways so I got out and he followed me and grabbed my arm really hard and dragged me back to the car, holding my neck & everything, then he started going off again shouting @ me, calling me names etc etc so I tried to get out again & he took my phone. Then when I tried to get out another time because he just wouldn’t stop screaming, he pulled my wig off while he was driving and start screaming at me, & he did this twice so aggressively.. I know ppl will think that part is funny but it really has me feeling some time of way & I woke up this morning with really bad bruises from where he dragged me. I dunno what to do or how to feel I don’t want to say domestic abuse or anything bc I know some ppl have it much worse. But I also had work after all this and I just couldn’t stop crying & bes apologised & I guess I’m just trying to figure out what to do next. I wouldn’t report to police or anything but I just feel so traumatised by it & bre he ripped the lace on the wig when he pulled it off… I haven’t spoken to him properly other than when he apologised but what should I do? Would this be considered abuse? Thanks in advance xx
3. April 2018
My heart is aching for you. This is extremely traumatising. You tried to escape a very toxic situation and he forced you to back into the problem again. This is definitely a form of domestic abuse..he put his hands on you on several occasions and he should have to deal with the consequences.
I think it’d be wise to tell someone you trust and who you consider close to you, if you don’t want to go to the police. This is so at least someone else knows, in case he tries to pull another stupid stunt in the future. It won’t look random, because you’ve informed another person.
Please stay away from him. This type of human doesn’t change overnight and will definitely be abusive in the future.
Oloni
Is it weird to masturbate to my ex. He dumped me a month ago.
3. April 2018
It’s not weird at all. It’s normal to masturbate about someone you’re attracted to.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, so I recently got introduced to a guy from a mutual friend last month. We then started talking & found out we had a lot in common. He asked for my number and I honestly don’t know my number of my head and I had not given my new number to his new friend. I messaged this friend from my new number a week later and remembered that the mutual friend used to like me but I was not interested. I thought we had surpass that stage and he even asked if he could give my number to this friend. I said yes, after a few days I asked if he had given it to him, he then replied the guy’s phone is not working LMAO. Months had passed, I then decided to add him on social networks (+I am new to social media) because the fact that his friend used to like me, there is no way he would hook us up. Is it ok to add him? I don’t see any harm in this as it can come across as platonic friendship.
3. April 2018
Mutual friend is a dick. Adding him on social media is what you should’ve done first! Come on love.
Oloni
Hi oloni, so long story short my boyfriend ended our 2 year relationship. He’s nigerian I’m jamaican, we were talking about baby names and he said he wanted all our future kids to have nigerian first names, in the midst of it I said nigerian names sound funny which I admit sounds disrespectful but didn’t want it to mean like that. This caused a huge argument and he started saying I don’t respect him or his culture and just ended it. I can’t tell if I done things cumulatively to piss him off or not and he’s not responding to my messages. Few days later he sends me a bunch of my tweets from 3/4 years ago with “Nigeria” and nigerian boys/men and they were quite crazy I can’t lie. In my defence I was young and it was usually in response to african vs Caribbean TL wars but I don’t think like that anymore.
3. April 2018
Oh goodness! Well the context of your tweet matters. Was it just you joking around, or nasty thoughts, you’ve unlearned?
I can understand why he’s annoyed. Most people take pride in where they’re from, so your knee jerk reaction could have been the final straw.
Try giving him some space then reaching out again, to apologise for your remarks on the names and past social media posts. It’s also best to ask yourself if you genuinely have an issue with his culture, because if you do staying together will only make that clearer and break down the relationship.
Oloni
Hey oloni, I’ve been having trouble with hygiene down below. I mean I wash my vagina twice a day and all. But after a long day my vagina seems to be quite odorous like an armpit. I wanted to know if that’s normal and any tips/products to keep down there consistently fresh throughout the day x
3. April 2018
Hey love! It’s normal for our vaginas to go through some odd days. I’d suggest seeing a professional like a sexual health nurse. Try also staying away from products and only using water.
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