Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Ladies, shall we have some Brunch? Come celebrate International Women’s Day March 8th. Eat, laugh and make some new girlfriends!

Hi Oloni, my ex has recently got into a new relationship and it has made me really uncomfortable about our friendship. We’d decided to stay friends after breaking up, although we’d been sleeping with each other on and off since doing so – for about 6 months. Im happy that she’s found someone new but I feel like our friendship is holding me back from moving on and getting over her. Basically I feel like being friends with my ex is really unhealthy for me but I’m not sure how to approach the situation? 11. June 2018

Heya hun, it’s time to get some space from your ex. It sounds like you’re not completely over her, which is normal, especially if you were still sexually intimate for a while. However, now it’s time to think about what’s best for yourself and to me that sounds like distance, till you’re emotionally ready to be friends again.

Oloni

Hi Oloni! Im a 21 female and lost my virginity a week ago. we were protected he got tested before we did it and he’s clean. but how come its been a week since it happened and my vagina is starting to itch? is it because its irritaded due to my first time? kinda confused. Thanks!! 8. June 2018

Hey love, there could be a number of reasons why you might be feeling itchy. My advice would be to book an appointment with a sexual health nurse immediately.

Oloni

Hi Oloni. I’m engaged & haven’t had sex with my partner as we are waiting until marriage. It’s been nearly 3 years since we got together so it’s been hard to wait but I know it’s helped us as our emotional, mental and spiritual connection is amazing. However, he is a virgin whilst I’ve had sex with 2 previous partners. We are getting married soon and I know he is nervous as he thinks he won’t know what he’s doing. I’ve explained we have the rest of our lives to figure out how we like to do things in the bedroom, but do you have any first time tips that you think could help him feel comfortable. I love him so much so I just want to make sure our sex life starts as good as possible. 8. June 2018

Congratulations!! I think it’s beautiful you’ve both decided to wait. It also shows other people reading this, that they too can be celibate or abstain till they’re ready.

As you mentioned you have the whole of your lives to understand what the other enjoys sexually, so my advice is to be patient with yourselves. If it doesn’t feel like fireworks the first time do not worry, being fairly new to sex will not make you an expert. You might have a few hiccups, you might also have so much chemistry that you hit it off well the first time.

See it as a sexual journey for both of you. Enjoy foreplay before becoming intimate. I can’t emphasise enough how important it is. Without foreplay, there is no real sex. Invest time into learning about each others bodies, so you can both understand what turns you on.

Try getting a small vibrator for clitoral pleasure, water based lubricant and condoms.

Enjoy!

Oloni

Hey oloni, it’s a long story so imma make it quick. There’s this guy I’ve liked for yearrrsssssssss, been strategically positioning myself for time. My sister has come out of a long relationship and is newly single and this guy has moved to her instead. She knew how much I liked him but still chose to have it from him anyway. Obviously I feel like a mug but don’t want to come off as bitter since it’s new for her but I can’t lie, it hurts. It’s my sister so I love her regardless but I genuinely don’t know how to handle this. Any advice? 8. June 2018

I don’t care about your sister’s dating history, sisters do not go after guys that their siblings like. It’s a rule which doesn’t need to be discussed. Right now you’re just going to do what you can, to try and push to get over it. Distract yourself, keep yourself busy, date other men and ask sis not to talk to you about him, cus she will try to.

I hope you meet someone soon!

Oloni

Hey oloni I have a fwb we’ve been at it for some time I think I may be pregnant haven’t done the test yet but when I do depending on the results should I tell him? Even tho I know what I plan to do already? 8. June 2018

I think it’s important to tell him if you’ve had a scare, and especially if the results are positive. You were both involved so it’s only fair he knows. The only time I’d suggest being discreet about it, is if you felt you could be in danger.

Oloni

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