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@aggyabby

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey Oloni, I was dating this guy for two months but then found out he had a girlfriend so I cut him off then he decided to park outside my house with his girlfriend as if he got one up on me, this was 5months ago and ever since he’s basically been stalking me, following me when I’m out, calling me and just breathing down the phone, I’ve changed my number 3 times and blocked all of his but he just changes sims and finds a way to get my number. He parks outside my house everyday. It’s literally makin me go crazy and become paranoid. I went to the police but they brushed me off as I don’t have enough evidence to prove he’s doing this and he parks so I can’t see the license plate. I don’t know why to do. He’s escalated to calling 15 times a day, his girlfriend isn’t aware and when I tried to tell her she said I’m a liar etc. I really don’t know what to do, I’m worried he will eventually do something to me. Thanks for any advice you can give 6. February 2016

This is crazy behaviour and I’m disappointed to hear the police have been zero use. However, you’re going to have to keep on going back to them and continue to file a report about this insane guy. Take photos of his car pulled outside your house, take screen shots of the number that constantly calls, document it all and keep disturbing the police till this is dealt with. I really do hope this helps. – Also, do not contact his girlfriend any more.

Oloni

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Hey, I’ve been best friends with this boy for 8+ years and I’ve always had feeling from the start of the friendship but I was scared to tell him. Over the years my feelings are getting stronger but I’m still scared to mention it to him because I feel like it will completed ruin our friendship. He’s also a bit of a player and currently has a girlfriend but these feelings I have are out of control. Should I distance myself from him or should I just tell him? 6. February 2016

If these feelings are getting stronger, girl do yourself a favour and back up from the friendship. It’s not a great idea if you’re constantly spending time with someone you not only have feelings for, but ALSO has a girlfriend. You’ve developed a great friendship with someone, so it’s okay to take a hiatus from what you both have. There’s no point telling a committed person that you have emotions for them as it’s just disrespectful. The only way to move past these feelings is to honestly give the friendship a break.

 

Oloni


me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 weeks now so not that long yet, he’s been acting very anti social lately and he wanted to be going barfest and dancing with girls, should I bring it up or leave it? 6. February 2016

Have a conversation with him about it.

Oloni


What is your take on a first date on valentines day? (We are kinda friends, we go to the same uni) 6. February 2016

It’s what Valentine’s Day is about. You’re supposed to be out with a loved one, a friend, a partner. A first date on Vals makes a lot of sense. I always encourage people to spend the day with a crush or someone they’ve been eyeing up for a while. Enjoy yourself.

Oloni


Hi, My ex and I broke up about 10 months ago and im still finding it really hard to completely move on. He’s got a new girl and he seems happy but I’m finding it hard to get over him. What should I do? 6. February 2016

Hey lovely,

What you need to do is go through the motions, don’t rush your healing just go through the motions. Block him on everything, you really don’t need to be seeing how “great” his life may be without you. You need to remember that you’re the shit, work on making yourself be better, work on the things you previously didn’t like about yourself. Some people go to the gym more, some people shop a lot and buy all the things they’ve always wanted, some people work on their spirituality, some people surround themselves with their friends, some people go out more and make new friends. There isn’t just one way to get over him and it is trial and error, so take it easy on yourself and if you feel one way isn’t working for you, find another way that feels more comfortable. Lastly, chasing your passions is one of the surest ways of getting over a guy. What happens is that you feel like you begin to accomplish more things without him than you did with him, so you have no incentive to look back fondly, because who you were then is no longer who you are now, you would have gained so much more and rekindling things (if that ever becomes an option, although right now it isn’t) may seem like going backwards, especially if he’s not the kind to grow with you. Also I find turning your unforgiveness into pity helps. Unforgiveness is to say you expected more, meaning he fell short of the level you expected him to be on, pity is to tap him on his yam head condescendingly and say “poor you, you didn’t know any better because you’re a bit of an idiot” that feels better doesn’t it haha and it automatically puts them below you (sounds mean but who cares, you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s better than hatred)….eventually you’ll get to a point where your pity eases in genuine forgiveness, but I find it’s easier done that way than through bitterness and anger. Hope this helps.

-Ebi

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