Hey lovely,

Witholding that information isn’t lying unless you’re asked, but at the same time it’s not a must that whoever you’re seeing needs to know. But here’s the thing, don’t withhold the information just to keep a guy, that kind of guy isn’t the guy for you, that doesn’t mean he is bad, it just means you’re not compatible. You deserve to be yourself and still be accepted for who you are. So yes keep it to yourself if you want, but make sure your intentions for doing so are more for you than the other person, because that same person can sleep with you and then question why you don’t seem to be as experienced when having sex, what then? Also don’t be in a rush to have sex, make sure you’re not rushing into it for the wrong reasons.

-Ebi

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Hey,

All you can do is send him a genuine apology and wait for him to come to the realisation that you’re genuinely sorry. If he doesn’t, which he has every right to do, you’re gonna have to take this one on the chin and take this as a lesson for the future. It happens, just do better next time. Hope this helps x

-Ebi

Hey lovely,

Quite simply, you need to leave this situation alone. There are no two ways about this one. He is not that into you. He has no respect for you or your time. He basically had sex with you and ignored you. He only wanted sex from what it seems. This isn’t the first time he has ignored you. I feel like at the root of this are some insecurities you have that have gone unaddressed that you need to take time out to figure out. If you need help with doing that, write in again about the insecurities you feel you have and we can go through ways of addressing them, if you don’t feel like doing so, maybe seek counselling/advice from a friend.  Hope this helps. You will be fine, trust me.

-Ebi

Hey girl,

What you’re basically saying is this main guy is displaying signs of inconsistency. So you need to let that go and focus on this new guy. If you don’t, what will happen is this new guy will pursue you for a bit then leave you because you will also be displaying signs of inconsistency and men tend to be way less tolerant of that, it’s a chain reaction. Treat people like you want to be treated even if your intentions aren’t bad. Also don’t feel bad about leaving the inconsistent guy, just make it clear to him that you’re in a space that you feel like this has been dragging out for too long and now you either want to move things to the next stage or leave, if he shuffles, asks for more time…so basically does anything that isn’t EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, let it go and explore your other options, don’t deceive yourself into thinking you’re willing to accept something that you don’t want, men usually know whether or not they want you quite early on (given some are just confused) but most times they usually know, so if he’s indecisive it’s in your best interest to put your happiness first, you don’t want to wake up one day and realise you were the girlfriend fluffer or wasted a good amount of years in an unhealthy situationship. Time is precious.

-Ebi

Heyy girl,

I get your frustration but look I personally feel like what you need to do is write down a list of things that you like about him and things you don’t like about him. Then ask yourself genuinely do these pro’s outweigh the con’s? Can you genuinely look past his horrible kissing skills? with the assumption that at some point you will sit down with him and teach him how best to kiss you? So if he has everything you desire in a partner and he is proving that he’s serious but his only shortcoming is the fact that he can’t kiss, do you think that is worth ending it? Sometimes our frustrations can be rooted in the fact that we feel as though we can’t communicate certain things before a certain point in the getting to know you stage so we feel like we’re firming it instead of finding a solution. So maybe it may take you to give him some sort of direction earlier on, especially if you see potential and especially if he has been forward enough to tell you how he feels, mirror him. So say it in a way in which you emphasise his really good points but you want him to improve on that part. So say I really think I like you etc…but let’s BOTH work on this, that way it doesn’t come across as an attack and if he knows what is best for him, he will take notes. When all is said and done just make sure you don’t drag this on longer than necessary, think of how you’d like to be treated in such a situation and make sure you go with that. If you know for sure (don’t deceive yourself) that you can’t look past this, let him go and be friends.

-Ebi