Hey,

It’s a good thing that you can acknowledge that you have anger issues,  what you might need to do is go to counselling, maybe first without your sister and then after with her. It shouldn’t be this way but sometimes it happens, you need to address what you both dislike about each other in an environment where you can freely vent and with someone who isn’t biased. Stress the fact that you want to work it out with your sister but until you both seek counselling you will stay out of her way so that you don’t keep clashing.  It could be anything, it could be hormones (so do get checked)/moodswings, depression or unresolved issues amongst so many other possibilities if you get what I mean so you need to investigate it from all angles, but I will say for now give each other space and maybe write something on a piece of paper to her, that you’re not bitter and you want to work this out, find out whether there’s something wrong with you and just let her know your plans and slip it under her door, that way there’s no space for any confrontation (and you must not entertain any confrontation at home, stick to talking it through at your counselling sessions or writing it down, also be careful not to be patronising, that’s the quickest way to get under someones skin or to be misunderstood.

-Ebi

Hey lovely,

Your boyfriend is insecure and he needs to address those insecurities. You need to sit down with him and let this be known and also let it be known that if you can’t address these insecurities with him on board you feel as though this relationship will not last. He needs to understand the severity of the situation so don’t bother sugarcoating it but make him aware that you are willing to work through it and be there for him if he’s down. Ask him to explain to you what happened to him in the past that makes him feel like he can’t trust you or what is it you do that makes him worry. Make sure you’re working through it but at the same time that doesn’t mean you should sit there and allow him to behave in a controlling manner, there needs to be improvements/movements towards a solution. If he isn’t willing to sort it out then maybe you have to walk away with the understanding that you tried to make it work, sometimes it takes guys to lose out for them to realise where they messed up. He may also need counselling. But all in all, it’s a good sign that you know this is toxic and you’re seeking help for it. Hope this helped.

-Ebi

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Hey,

Assume he’s not that into you, until he proves otherwise. Actions matter, if his actions don’t match up to his words, don’t take any of his words seriously, you owe it to yourself to guard your feelings, so move on, when he’s ready, if he’s ever ready, he will let you know.

-Ebi

Hey,

What seems to be happening here is that you both seem to have different love languages, you liked to be loved in different ways and you love in different ways. So what you need to do is take some time to communicate and research these differences, (there are many sources on the internet that go into depth on love languages and books) once you understand that, it will help you not to take his lack of romantic expression as personally as you usually do and it will allow you to refocus on the ways in which he does show love so that you realise that he has actually been doing what you’ve wanted him to do all this time just in the best way he knows how. I also think understanding your love languages will allow you both to make extra effort to compromise and please each other in the way you both want eventually. It won’t happen overnight but as long as you set the ball rolling. Also sometimes we feel this way because we compare our situation to that of others, it’s so unhealthy because there will be things that your boyfriend does for you that other ladies literally have to force out of their own boyfriends. So it goes both ways, so don’t let it get you down. Also you need to stop seeing his attempts to do exactly what you say you want done as forced. I know it’s easy to look at it that way, but that’s not a fair outlook, after all he is doing exactly what you said you wanted him to do and it would be unfair to not show at least some appreciation for the effort. Hope this helps.

-Ebi

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Hey,

I can understand why you’d be offended. All you can do in this situation is communicate your feelings for the sake of your friendship and if you’re not on the same page, kindly exit the situation and work on your friendship instead. Ask him straight up whether or not he is sleeping with other people, this girl in particular and emphasise if he wants you to continue to have a friendship he’s gonna have to be truthful even if it’s something you may not like to hear and if you find out he’s lying then you can’t continue with your friendship. That’s all you need to do, never be afraid to ask, guys do it all the time.

-Ebi