Ask Oloni

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Hey Oloni, I need some major advice? basically my current boyfriend has started chilling with his ex girlfriend after she basically cheated on him with her ex boyfriend ? as we haven’t been speaking lately he thought it be a good idea to bring he to MY WORK PLACE,WHILE IM WORKING, people have told me that lately they have seen them two around in town and I know that’s been going for meals and stuff ? so lately we haven’t really been speaking I’ve been sending him messages but he’s been ignoring my messages but being online on Facebook which kills it the most, making me fell like I’ve done something wrong which I haven’t. anyways it’s his bday on next weekend and I’ve planned something special for him I don’t know whether I should go ahead with my plans or just let him to go spend it with his ex as he’s spending more time with her not me lately ?? 7. February 2016

Hey,

I know it’s important to not hold a grudge but I do think him ignoring all of your messages and speaking to his ex without taking time out to make you feel comfortable is rude. I think before you invest any more, you need to have a firm conversation (without mentioning your special plans btw) and ask him where you stand. If you do something special for him only to find out he has moved on (which I suspect is the case) then it will make you feel even worse. He owes it to you to give you some sort of explanation and if you don’t think the excuse given has any weight don’t be afraid to go with your gut instinct and respectfully cut him off. Hope this helps.

-Ebi

Hey, I know am not a ugly girl I know I am beautiful with a beautiful heart, my friends have said this to me but the problem is most guys that approach me aren’t all that good looking. Yes I know it isn’t all about the looks, but that’s the first thing that draws me to a man. I am patiently waiting for my fine ass and good hearted husband Lool but when would this guy come, when cause I haven’t been in a serious relationship after my 17 years old boyfriend and guess what am 21 now, I am not in a rush but somehow I want to meet him cause I want to marry early oh 7. February 2016

Hey,

So basically you’re not attracted to the guys that approach you. Well, I don’t really think there’s anything you can do apart from maybe start approaching guys YOU find attractive, so basically try and control the type of guys you end up speaking to in that way. Try that and see how it goes, if that doesn’t work, you’re just gonna have to wait this one out or ask yourself whether your standards when it comes to looks are too high. Also marriage will come in it’s own time, don’t spend all of your precious singleness wanting to be in a relationship. Best of luck.

-Ebi

Hey Oloni, I was dating this guy for two months but then found out he had a girlfriend so I cut him off then he decided to park outside my house with his girlfriend as if he got one up on me, this was 5months ago and ever since he’s basically been stalking me, following me when I’m out, calling me and just breathing down the phone, I’ve changed my number 3 times and blocked all of his but he just changes sims and finds a way to get my number. He parks outside my house everyday. It’s literally makin me go crazy and become paranoid. I went to the police but they brushed me off as I don’t have enough evidence to prove he’s doing this and he parks so I can’t see the license plate. I don’t know why to do. He’s escalated to calling 15 times a day, his girlfriend isn’t aware and when I tried to tell her she said I’m a liar etc. I really don’t know what to do, I’m worried he will eventually do something to me. Thanks for any advice you can give 6. February 2016

This is crazy behaviour and I’m disappointed to hear the police have been zero use. However, you’re going to have to keep on going back to them and continue to file a report about this insane guy. Take photos of his car pulled outside your house, take screen shots of the number that constantly calls, document it all and keep disturbing the police till this is dealt with. I really do hope this helps. – Also, do not contact his girlfriend any more.

Oloni

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Hey, I’ve been best friends with this boy for 8+ years and I’ve always had feeling from the start of the friendship but I was scared to tell him. Over the years my feelings are getting stronger but I’m still scared to mention it to him because I feel like it will completed ruin our friendship. He’s also a bit of a player and currently has a girlfriend but these feelings I have are out of control. Should I distance myself from him or should I just tell him? 6. February 2016

If these feelings are getting stronger, girl do yourself a favour and back up from the friendship. It’s not a great idea if you’re constantly spending time with someone you not only have feelings for, but ALSO has a girlfriend. You’ve developed a great friendship with someone, so it’s okay to take a hiatus from what you both have. There’s no point telling a committed person that you have emotions for them as it’s just disrespectful. The only way to move past these feelings is to honestly give the friendship a break.

Oloni

me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 weeks now so not that long yet, he’s been acting very anti social lately and he wanted to be going barfest and dancing with girls, should I bring it up or leave it? 6. February 2016

Have a conversation with him about it.

Oloni

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