Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Is okay for me to continue having sex with my ex (a few times a month) whilst I’m still actively talking/ dating other guys? It’s just my ex fulfils my sexual needs (there is no more any emotional connection in both parties- just sex) and he feels like a safe place for me where I can express my self sexually comfortably because we know each others bodies well enough by now. Plus he’s the only guy that has given/s me oral sex. The thing is I don’t want to have sex (at the moment) with they guys I’m talking to/ dating, especially at the early stages. So what do you suggest? Do I stop sleeping with my ex because of other guys or is it acceptable? 23. February 2016

Having sex with an ex is never a good idea if they’re supposed to be that (an ex) there are several posts on my blog as to why, so have a look. But generally speaking, I understand everything you’re saying and you might be fine with it, but what happens when he cums and you see a random girls name pop up on his phone? Or what about after you get your nut, do you kiss and hold hands after sex like people in a relationship do?.. I’ve never spoken to a client who has been able to have sex with no strings attached to someone she was once attached to. Can it work? Yeah, but for how long? The truth is, you have to be able to know yourself and be completely honest with what can happen later. I mean sure he’s the only person who knows your body for now, but sooner or later that will have to change.. sex toys are also a good option too.

Oloni

Me and this guy have been friends for a while now and a few months ago we started a kind of fwb thing. Haven’t gone as far as sex, just messing around. After a couple of months we decided to chill a bit before it went too far. So everything was going fine but a couple of weeks ago he started giving me the cold shoulder. I confronted him about it and he said nothing’s wrong, he’s just been stressed. Which is fine, but I feel like I’m the only one getting this treatment. Do you have any idea what the problem could be? ~ Confused 23. February 2016

From the sounds of things it just seems like he doesn’t want to mess around any more. Find another fwb if you’re looking for someone to fool around with. If he’s giving you the cold shoulder don’t waste time trying to figure out why. Remember FWB’s are for sexual pleasure not friendship or relationships.

Oloni

i started to talking this guy in the DM’s. we barely knew each other since it was only the early stages of talking. i was a virgin at the time and he was made known, however a day later , i had lost my virginity to a old friends with benefits , it was not intended but was the spur of the moment thing. i didn’t know when to tell the other guy, who i had just started speaking to because it would be weird and off-putting. i thought me and this guy would stop speaking anyways since he lived in south and i lived in west , however we really hit it off and both developed feelings for each other, i was waiting for the right time to tell him about losing my virginity but there was none, baring in mind we have never met. 3 months of talking and he insinuated that he wanted to be in relationship with me , i finally told him everything and he then told me to leave him alone and that there will be no more me and him getting together, i really want him back Oloni but hes very stubborn and doesn’t seem to understand that i didn’t do this to hurt him and we weren’t even serious at the time. i don’t want to lose him. what do i do ? 23. February 2016

I can totally understand that this may seem devastating for you, but it isn’t. This whole situation just sounds quite young. But I’ve been young and infatuated before so I can honestly say that you need get over this. Your virginity was never any of his business. It’s something that in my opinion you should have kept to yourself .. this is because throughout the message you’e sent in, you’ve said nothing about dating literally just ‘talking’. I think you just found out that the guy you really liked wasn’t as serious as you were and was looking for a cop out. You’ll be fine, just move on and learn from this..but if you want to talk about it more, call me here.

Oloni

My partner’s son called me mummy! Hey Oloni I’ve been dating my partner for just under a year & gotten to know his son from a previous relationship really well. His son who is 4 has come to stay with his dad due to the living situation with his mum. As of recent I’ve heard him call me ‘mummy’ a few times & I don’t feel comfortable with it. My partner doesn’t see anything wrong with it but I don’t want him to see me as a replacement to his mum. How do I get rid of this title? 23. February 2016

I think it’s sweet that his child is referring to you with such an endearing name as ‘mummy’. It’s beautiful really, but I can also understand why you feel a way about it. The truth is he’s only four years old so he probably sees you as a mother figure especially if you spend a lot of time together. I don’t think it would hurt to correct his child, so I’d advise you to speak with your partner again and break down why you’re uncomfortable with it. Children pick up things quickly so reminding his child what to call you every time he uses the ‘mum’ word wouldn’t hurt.

Oloni

5 Ways To Ruin a Relationship Before It Starts

Those feelings are all too familiar. The rapid heartbeat, the uneven breath, the hesitation and butterflies in your stomach, as you slowly approach this beautiful unidentified figure before you. In your eyes this person may be a treasure chest just waiting to be explored, but in your mind, this may very well be a pursuit that was doomed from the very beginning…read more HERE

Hey, could you please give me some tips on not breaking the no Contact Rule? I’ve been no contact for 2 months and a couple of weeks now. I know there is no point in going back. It was a situationship and I broke it off because though he did treat me well, he ultimately did not want a committed relationship. I had to break things off, blocked him and went no contact. The problem is that I’m emotionally attached since he was the first and only person I was ever intimate with and I have lots of fun memories, since we used to go on dates a lot and we had a lot of chemistry. I really miss him but I know that I need to move on. I’m also depressed (I was even before meeting him) so I struggle to keep busy.. I am at uni, though it’s a daily struggle to keep on going 19. February 2016

Heya, the no contact rule is something I’ve discussed in my webinars/seminars many times.. book a scheduled phone call and I’ll go over it with you.

Book it here

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