Hey,

Delete those feelings and move on. That age gap is wild, you may not see it that way, but from someone looking in from the outside, that age gap is unacceptable in my opinion and I’m sure family or any sensible person around you would say the same thing. You are at different stages in life and he has a girlfriend. Why involve yourself in mess when you can find a perfectly single man who is ready to love you the way you want to be loved and doesn’t treat you as secondary to his girlfriend, because think about it, he’s with his girl, flirting with you but that’s about it, he is still with his girl and has made no attempt to leave her for you, based on the information you have provided, clearly it’s deeper for you than it is for him and even if you were to get into a relationship who’s to say you won’t lose him the same way you got him? So babes, don’t allow any man to finesse you, don’t settle for less than you know you deserve…and avoid 23 year olds please.

-Ebi

Hey,

You sound scared, if he keeps harassing you inform the police, if based on his behaviour and your judgement you begin to feel unsafe and unable to do so, inform a trusted family member and tell them you want to inform the police but you are afraid. You SHOULD NOT put up with any of this. DO NOT LET ANYONE, ANY GUY, INTIMIDATE YOU INTO DOING ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO. Hope this helps, end that business relationship and block him on all platforms, including your phone.

-Ebi

On a date? Drop him & prosper.

-Ebi

Hey,

I know someone who mentioned this kind of experience to me before, she felt she couldn’t date someone of her race because it reminds of her family so you’re not alone. Okay, first thing is, when it comes to love you really can’t afford to choose a partner just to please your family. If it works it works, if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work, no pressure lovely. Do you. As for the black guys you are dating, hopefully this doesn’t sound so creepy, but are you choosing guys with similar characteristics/traits as your brothers? If you are, maybe you need to go all the way out there and pick black guys who are completely not like any of your siblings (without eliminating the good qualities that you’d want in any man black or white…so don’t go for a scumbag just because you don’t want a nice gentleman like your brother lmao). So open yourself up to various options, talk to different types of black guys and see how that goes, other than that, that’s all I think you can do really, if I think of anything else, I’ll come back here and add more. But since you like white guys also, don’t shut down a potentially great relationship with a white guy just because you don’t want to upset anyone, it’s all down to you.

-Ebi

Hey,

That loyalty was probably shattered the moment you cheated, unfortunately not everyone gives you a heads-up before they’re about to do some dirt, (people don’t give heads-up when cheating in a relationship how much more outside of one) and having certain expectations of the other person after a break-up does leave you open to disappointment, even if those expectations are valid on an emotional level, on a practical/logical level, she doesn’t owe you anything, she’s not your girl, that family member probably owes you more than she does, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. So what you need to do is to feel what you feel but also do things that are what I’d call healthy distractions. Focusing on yourself, so your happiness, focus on your passions, force yourself to do things that you otherwise wouldn’t have done out of fear, go to the gym, buy new clothes, (apparently FIFA works), go out, work on your spirituality, make new friends, distance yourself from negativity. Block her on everything and if you can, distance yourself from that family member until you feel as though you’re in a better emotional space to deal with her. Don’t expect an apology in the way you may want it, just focus on you and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that. Hope this helped, write in again if you need anymore advice. Also in terms of loyalties and boundaries, looking forward you need to really understand that her behaviour isn’t representative of all women, just like your behaviour isn’t representative of all men. Naturally you will feel scarred from this situation but don’t let it lead you to push away potentially great relationships, so maybe I’d suggest for now have platonic friendships with women who appear loyal and understand boundaries, so that you get your trust back up and so that those characteristics do not begin to seem out of your reach.

-Ebi