Ask Oloni receives several questions every day. We can’t possibly answer every single question. If you need an immediate response book a call here.

Relationship Coaching Packages

He likes you, but he’s not that into you. You shouldn’t be playing the ‘treat um mean, to keep um keen’ game. Yes, he has other commitments but if he wanted something romantically, you’d feel it. Don’t lose sleep over this lad and try to date other people.

Oloni

It’s not as hard as you’re making it out to be hun. When he calls/texts/message simply let it be known, that you’re aware he has a girlfriend, then cut him out.

Oloni

Well she’s a bitch. Your brothers girlfriend got too familiar once you opened up to her and now she’s using it against you and a very insensitive person. I’d advise that you have another conversation with your brother and fill him in on exactly what you told me. You know the fact you poured out your heart to her when they started dating.  If that still doesn’t work you’re going to have to use your voice and seriously speak up. Saying something like ‘I don’t find your jokes funny and you need to stop’ is enough for her to use her sense and realise you do not appreciate, the rubbish she’s saying. I understand you’re not a confrontational person, but my dear, in this life, people will only continue to treat you the way you allow them to. Let me know how it works out.

Oloni

Hey lovely,

Based on the information you have given me you seem to have internalised his unwillingness to get into a relationship with you. You seem to see it as if there’s something you can do to make him want a relationship with you. The facts are he has said he doesn’t want one. He isn’t ready and the longer you ignore that the more you will hurt yourself. What you need to do is cut off all communication with him and focus on yourself. Since you’ve mentioned having mental health issues, don’t be afraid to take this situation to a counsellor and allow them to help you go through your emotions regarding this situation. You say you’re stuck but you shouldn’t feel that way, he has made a CLEAR decision, now it’s on you to respect that decision and if you can’t respect it for one reason or another at least remove yourself from the situation. Hanging about in this kind of environment will eventually lead to a situationship, check out Oloni’s blogpost on situationships. You could also end up being the “girlfriend fluffer” (check out her post on that that discusses it in detail) because even though he has said he isn’t ready for a relationship, sometimes guys  (who just don’t know how to be completely honest might I add) mean they’re really not ready for a relationship WITH YOU. This may not feel nice, but trust me if you remove yourself from the situation now, you’ll feel so much better in no time. Ways of doing that, block/unfollow him on everything, tell your trusted girls who can help you get over him, work on yourself, gym works apparently, work on your passions and eventually you’ll come to a place of peace.  Hope this helped.

-Ebi