Hey,

Wow, I genuinely feel like this is an extremely toxic view to have and whatever has led you to feel this way needs to be addressed. These things happen, it is not a reflection of your worth. You are still who you were before that occurrence and you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Looking forward, if this is how you feel in such situations then you may need to protect that part of you…so I’d say don’t be intimate with any guy until you have addressed these issues. (This is an assumption, but if you feel this way for any religious or cultural reasons please understand that you are not meant to feel condemned, you may feel you have done wrong and according to your belief that may be so, but you are human and you cannot get past this  with such a toxic attitude, so moving forward if it is a religious thing, try your best to adhere to whatever it is you believe in but when you fall short don’t be overwhelmed with shame or condemnation, just look forward and try and do better, you’re human, you’re not meant to be perfect). If this isn’t a religious or cultural situation apologies. Hope this helped.

-Ebi

Hey,

You’re just going to have to keep it as real with him as you did with me. Say exactly how you feel, if that makes him run then he isn’t the one for you. Don’t make yourself feel uncomfortable to make someone else feel comfortable.  We overcomplicate issues sometimes, yes being that transparent can be scary, but the alternative is keeping quiet and getting your feelings hurt in one way or another.

-Ebi

Hey,

The error was in thinking you had to prove your loyalty for over a year before he eventually committed. I personally think there are trust issues that you have as a result of that wait and the different complicated issues surrounding loyalty that come with being in a situationship for so long. I personally feel like his swiftness to break up with you after calling you his ex twice in argument isn’t a good sign but all you can do is wait and see and by wait I mean live your life not stuck on this situation but open to receive the truth when it eventually comes to light. Everything you need to know past this point will be in his actions and the events to follow. There’s nothing you can do, you can’t force someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, to commit.  So work on yourself for now.

-Ebi

Hey lovely,

Hmmm with this one, there could be so many reasons why he is acting the way he is acting but it’s important that you don’t assume it’s you until you know for sure. Ask him honestly, that you feel like he has been a bit down lately and not as enthusiastic as he used to be and tell him to let you know if anything is up and listen to him, let him speak. Tell him you want him to let you know if you’ve done anything to upset him at any point so that you can move forward. You could be overthinking which is why it’s important to let him speak, you could also be right which is why it’s important for him to address things, not everyone is as forthcoming and some people prefer passive aggressive ways of approaching issues, which is never best in a relationship so you need to make him feel comfortable enough to address what he needs to address, good or bad. If he says nothing is wrong, tell him you need the romance back in the relationship and that you miss his good morning texts and would appreciate receiving them from time to time and see where that goes.

-Ebi

Hey,

I think at the very least he should consider your feelings but that does not mean you’re right about that girl, (although ladies tend to be right in these situations, we can smell a shady girl from a mile away). However, he should make you feel comfortable with his friendship with her and reassure you that it’s just friendship if he truly cares about your feelings. So make him aware of how he is making you feel, ensure that there are boundaries in place. All you can do is trust in these situations until you are given solid reason to suggest that that friendship is highly inappropriate. If you continue to find yourself unhappy about this situation then you’re either going to have to let this issue go, or let him go. But the way I look at it is you cannot stop people from doing what they have every intention of doing, but you have every right to make a decision based on that behaviour when confronted with the facts. Hope this helped…

-Ebi