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Oloni, I’ve made a serious mistake and need your guidance. I was with my ex for 3 years, we had a tumultuous relationship – trust issues, physically fighting each other, he often found reasons to fall out with me over things I had done, causing me to spend weeks at a time making it back up to him – this happened regularly. Anyway – we broke up end of 2019, didn’t see each other for a long time as he was out of the country. When he came back he wasn’t interested in reconciling with me or healing our relationship – cue the entanglement. He told me he had slept with 3 women, I had slept with 1 man but we both got tested and continued to see each other every other week or so. Oloni, I could have sworn he wasn’t interested in me anymore and we kept having arguments and unresolved conversations about it. So I slept with another guy. 3 days later I’m super ill, I thought I had tonsillitis. My ex came over and cared for me, made me tea etc. Even though I was feverish he tried to have sex with me. I told him no, that it was risky. Really I didn’t want to be that woman who’s fucking people back to back, so I just gave him head instead. I should have told him I’d slept with someone else right there, but I didn’t. Next day I find out the other guy gave me chlamydia. I’m so pissed off with myself for potentially exposing my ex to this infection – he takes his health so seriously and he was extremely upset when I told him. He hasn’t spoken to me since and I really don’t know how to handle this moving forward. Feels like there wasn’t much respect initially but now there’s none at all. What do I do? Can I forgive myself?
18. September 2020
Such a complicated one honestly, but you need to give him space, especially since you two are always fighting. Talking right now won’t solve anything. He should have respected that you didn’t want to give him oral sex, you were ill! I do think after giving each other space, you try to apologise. Your relationship doesn’t even seem stable, it feels like something just keeps going wrong. Isn’t that a sign sis? I hope you’ve been treated? And always remember to use condoms during sex. There’s misconception that you can’t get STI’s through oral, which is untrue. Chances are lower so I hope he gets tested and treated too.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I was wondering what you think of this because I am being made to feel like I am the problem. My boyfriend regularly asks me to go down on him, which is fine. When I do I am spending time, I know what he likes etc but when he outright asks me for this he just doesn’t come. During this process there is no touching me or enthusiasm toward me at all. He then blames it on that he is over thinking it and can’t come. I am being enthusiastic, I like doing it and I know I’m good at it as some days there’s no problems at all and we have discussed what each other likes etc. It used to be enjoyable for us. Anyway this can happen and then he doesn’t come so I ask him to do something for me, at least just touch me so maybe he can get excited again and I can feel like he wants me rather than just to suck his dick. He then refuses because ei didn’t make him come. I am would like to know what you think of this because its making me feel used and like he doesn’t find me attractive because he won’t touch me.
18. September 2020
I answered this on Laid Bare.. the episode is out this week, but this guy aint even close to it. He’s using you as a human sex doll. You’re pleasure should not be put on hold for him. You’re not the problem, it actually sounds like he might be the one who might have some erectile problems. Talk to him about it.
Oloni
Hi oloni me and my sister in-law have been living together for over a year now and she is so sexy am beginning to have feelings for her and I know she does too, is it right for us to be involved in a sexual relationship?
18. September 2020
Behave! This is weird.
Oloni
Il try to keep it short so I’m seeing an older man who’s married with 2 children. He currently lives with his wife and children but states he they don’t have a romantic relationship, he’s only there for his children as she’s not mentally fit to care for herself or their children. When their marriage fall apart he moved out and worked aboard for a couple of months. There, he met another woman, they had a brief relationship and she fell pregnant. the new baby is due In a few weeks and he’s supported this woman all the way. He’s decided he will make this woman his 2nd wife as she’s the mother of his child and he will care for them. Now my dilemma is I don’t want to be 3rd best, he made a comment recent that I won’t be his main one but I will be his favourite and that doesn’t sit well with me. He’s an amazing man and treats me extremely well he kind, gentle and loving but I just don’t want be/feel in competition with these women. Am I over thinking the situation or should trust he’ll be there for me also 100%?
18. September 2020
Hey b! I’ll try keep it short. Me and my man live far away from each other. Been together 2 years. Half way through I found out his favourite hobby is lying and I’m pretty sure he’s cheated. Whenever I bring a situation up he’s spins it round and it’s my fault. This cycle carried on for a while until lock down when I realised I actually don’t even like him anymore. I told him, he cried and promised to never wrong me again. I thought I could start to have feelings again. Now I got my self a PT and he’s finnnneeee. I have sex dreams about him. I still haven’t got feelings for my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do anymore
8. July 2020
Break up with his and sleep with your PT.
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