Hey lovely,

Yeh, it’s time to leave and suggest he seeks help. He is clearly either down or depressed (having said that depression does not equal abusive) either way whatever he is going through does not mean you become his punching bag. You are 18 do not do this to yourself, do not allow your formative years to be tainted, these years shape you and I do not want your happiness or perspective on life to be robbed so early on before you’ve even had a chance to experience life for all it has to offer. I do not want bitterness and hatred towards men to consume you, inevitably shaping your love life as you go along and causing you even more pain. Do not dare for one second normalise physical or emotional abuse, do not explain it away, set your standards and abide by them. A man who can spit on you is not worthy of your presence let alone help. Move on from this and prosper. How do you do that? Get everything off your chest, lock him off, stay busy and surround yourself with people who encourage you in the ways you need to be encouraged and finally do things that make you happy, and no this relationship is not one of them. Hope this helps. Ps. Do not take this as me blaming you for anything he is doing to you or the way he’s treating you, the fact that you’re able to write in and question what your next step should be tells me that you’re not too lost in this situation…all advice given is because I have faith that you can do it and you can take control of your life by taking the necessary steps to move forward without him. If that’s not the case write in again and we’ll approach it differently.

Ebi A

Hey,

Firstly, I’ll make sure Oloni sees your well wishes :). Now, I’m glad you’ve moved on from your ex, but my honest answer is you will never know whether he truly wants you for you as you haven’t shown me that you have built any sort of friendship with him before this point. It’s possible that he saw how badly his friend was treating you and felt that you deserved better or that he could treat you better but it’s also possible that he just wants to get in there and duck out. It’s obvious to me that this situation will inevitably be messy and I personally do not believe you make those kind of decisions without being sure about his intentions and it doesn’t seem like you are. Hope this helped.

Ebi. A

It’s really none of your ex’s business who you ‘talk’ to. If you want that guilt to go away stop messaging your ex-boyfriend and handle your break up properly by not speaking to each other and giving one another space.

It sounds like you don’t know what you truly want, but at this point you’re not ready to be on your own and need someone in the picture. If you’ve been in a hectic on and off relationship, jumping straight into another isn’t always a healthy option. You have healing to do and need to pick yourself up properly.

Oloni

13 Things Not To Say To Your Friend After Their Breakup

Those aren’t friends, those are some nasty b*tches you need to cut off. Starting false rumours is hurtful end of. Anyway, I think you’re over thinking the whole ‘talk to boys’ thing and it’s understandable due to your past experience. When you start university, you’ll be very surprised by he amount of friends you make in the first week. This is because of Freshers Week and everyone being strangers to each other and are desperate to get to know new people and create friendships. Go to most the social gatherings, and everything will happen naturally.

Oloni

Temptation will always be around, and women will always try to go after what they can’t have. I have no idea why lol. Anyway, the best thing to do is ignore, tell the it’ inappropriate and that you’re taken or simply delete them as a contact.

Oloni