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Hi Oloni, I’m a 19 y/o girl and I’ve been in a “f*ck buddy” situation with a 24 y/o guy for a year now. Recently out of nowhere I’ve started to have feelings for him. Even the little things he says (during, before or after sex) like “You’re so beautiful” or “You’re all mine” I’m paying extra attention to and makes me feel gushy inside, even though I know it’s probably just light hearted chit chat that he spurts out when he’s thinking with his penis. The thing is, I really don’t know much about him. Since the day we met, it’s been strictly sex so all I really know is his name, age and location. He is kinda secretive with his personal details/life like he doesn’t want me to know too much about him, and reiterates that he wants our “situation” to be kept between us. Basically I get the vibe that he doesn’t see me as anything more than “a girl to have great sex with”. Should I tell him how I feel, keep suffering in silence or leave him alone now before it gets messy? Help me please. Thank you x 25. September 2016

Hey sis! I’ve been in a similar situation once when I was your age, so I understand. I don’t think there’s any harm in telling him how you’re starting to feel, as long as you don’t expect him to start taking you out on several dates right after. If you express what’s on your mind and in your heart at least he knows, what’s up.. But if he doesn’t feel the same, it’s time to take a bow, thank him for the great sex and leave. Once emotions are on the table, we start looking into everything a guy does. If he holds and cuddles you after sex, we see it as something more. If he says ‘text me when you’re home’ we’ll create a new meaning behind it. Friends with benefits is a fun way to enjoy sex, however, once you notice a change behind the initial reason as to why you signed up to it, it’s time to move on.

Oloni


Hi Ebi thank you so much as I didn’t open up about my relationship or the fact he was giving me £130 when he earned £1000 after tax he decided to move out and I’m looking at the prices to rent a room £300-£500 it’s good for Him since he can’t give his family he can give a complete stranger he defo has to stop saving now and his failed his driving 3 times guess God is not happy with the way he treated me he said he give me £100 for my daughter I’m just going to accept it cz he know how to sweet talk CSA and they will call me say he has to pay peanut money a week so £100 a month ain’t that too bad last time CSA said he should pay £7.50 a week soo I’m just going to accept his just a greedy guy I’m ready to move on and be happy and prosper with my little girl I do have hope someone out thier is looking for a lady like me as I got my life together thank you so much loved all the advice on Twitter I felt to reply to some but don’t want to expose myself to many nosey people lool thank u guys so much xxx 19. September 2016

Hey lovely,

This made me smile so much!!!!! I’m so glad you’re in a better space and listen there is someone out here for everyone, don’t you worry about that. Keep doing you, working on yourself and your child, growing and ensuring that anyone that comes into your life respects you and treats you how you should be treated. And I laughed at you saying you wanted to reply to people haha, you made the right decision because boy oh boy, too many people in your business is never a good thing!!!!Wishing you all the best lovely.

 

Ebi

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZxLgiloiKA

 

 

 

 


Hey oloni. I’ve been talking to this guy now for about 2 months but tbh I’m not really sure where this whole thing is going. Recently, things just seem a bit weird. We have tried to have the where is this going conversation but it just left me feeling more confused than ever. I honestly don’t know what to do because I don’t want it to be like I’m pushing things but I really don’t want to waste my time on someone who’s not worth it. Please help! 18. September 2016

Hey lovely,

It’s simple, tell him you’re confused and need clarity. Figure out what exactly you want to know and ask him. Tell him you just want straight answers and want to know where he thinks this is going, it’s only been two months, do not leave that conversation confused, if you’re still confused then simply put this isn’t for you because even if he did have every intention of getting in a relationship eventually, your timing and his timing do not match up, he probably wants to take things slower than you, so maybe friendship whilst you do your thing in that case may be more appropriate and if you rekindle things then so be it.

 

ebi


Hi Oloni, My ex and I broke up almost a year ago and it was quite messy and we haven’t been able to be friends afterwards sadly because I think there was/is still unanswered questions and resentment on both sides. I’m not in love with him anymore, but will always care for him and hope we can have some sort of civility later on in life. The issue I’m having now is that for some reason and however fleeting the thought, somehow I still think of him everyday and miss him sometimes and it annoys me so much! It was definitely the right decision for us to break up so why is this happening and how do I stop it? x 18. September 2016

Hey lovely,

Three possibilities; familiarity, loneliness or idleness/boredom. You need to find something to fill that gap, you need to make more memories, be adventurous, do and explore different things, meet new people. Also know when your thoughts are irrational or stem from curiosity and try not to read into them, so once you get them dismiss them or counter them with the facts, the facts being that your relationship wasn’t healthy. Maybe you need some closure, but only you will know whether seeing him right now would do more bad than good, so don’t rush into that and don’t deceive yourself. Also sometimes you obsess over a person not because you want to get back with them or you think it’s sensible to get back with them but because how it ended doesn’t sit right with you, you almost want to correct your wrongs and that’s fine, as long as the other person is willing to speak and you feel you’re in the right space to do that, if not you’ll have to give yourself closure.

Ebi


Hi Hun congrats on all you success nice to see you do something you love and get recognise for it. I need your help. One of my friends come to recently telling me that he saw my boyfriend with someone when I was at work and he was kissing her and being very close. I trust this girl I really do but I play have her words although I trust her I care about my boyfriends I use to love her my boyfriends but a lot has happens and am not so sure anymore. Firstly sex is vey painful and I dreg having sex. Emotionally I don’t feel that strongly anymore. I love spending time with him when he does not start an argument but that not often. I find him aggressive sometimes so I prefer I stay out of his way I work 48 to 60 hours a week sometimes just to stay away. This information has really upset me and I don’t who to believe my friend or him re said he has not done it given he won’t admit it. 18. September 2016

hey,

if you’re not happy, leave. As for the cheating, if you can 100% trust that your friend is not jobless and trying to ruin your relationship, go with what he said, talk to your man, then leave. forget about how much you love him and think about whether your friend is telling the truth and go by that and hopefully when you talk to your man, he has the decency to be honest.

 

ebi


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