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Dear Oloni, I recently met a guy who I didn’t know was married, I recently found out and have grown so much to like him, he’s begging me not to leave him, his wife knows about us and now send me threat messages. I don’t know what to do
27. December 2016
Um leave?
Oloni
…sigh oloni, where to start :(? my boyfriend and i have kbeen dating for 8 months and everything’s fine except the fact that he feels like he’ll never be able to pleasure me sexually and that I dont enjoy sex with cause of the standards of porn. He thinks that everytime i dont moan, its cause i dont enjoy it when thats not the case. sometimes even when i moan, he feels like it’s not loud enough and i don’t know how to explain to him that porn standards aren’t always realistic and that every girl is diff with how she feels and acts during sex. the downside of this is that im shy so i’ve never had the chance to explore myself and what i like sexually before i met him – what should i do please?
25. December 2016
Hey love, it sounds like porn has been a huge influence on your partners sex life which is where the blurred lines have come in. You need to have a conversation and explain how pornography is not real and voice how you feel it’s affecting you.
You should also find time to explore your sexuality, this could be through masturbating or researching.
Oloni
Dear Oloni, I was seeing this guy I met from my Uni for about 3 months, I’m a virgin and he’s always understood that and never rushed me. He always understood my personal issues but one day we argued and my girls got involved. They had a big arguement with him and now he doesn’t want to talk to him because I got my girls involved. He thinks I don’t respect him but I really care for him, what can I do.
25. December 2016
Reach out to him and ask if you could both have a conversation about what happened and see if he’d be willing to move past it. In the future be very careful with who you allow your friends to be around especially potential love interests.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my partner now for nearly 3 years. I love him to death he’s my world. His parents are from Zimbabwe, I stayed with them for a few months last year. They kicked me out and kept saying it’s not a culture thing but in their culture they would never allow this to happen. I told them to “shut up” as my partner and his parents where shouting over one another they turned on me and started screaming.i haven’t been back or spoken to them since January this year. My partner keeps saying be the bigger person and apologise I keep saying I’ve tried but his mum won’t meet up without her husband there and it has to be under their roof. I don’t wan that I’d rather it be in a public place so no one can scream at the other. But his mum won’t. He keeps telling me to be the bigger person and apologise but how can I when she won’t meet up? He keeps saying if I really wanted to apologise I’d go to her house? I don’t think I have anything to apologise for. What do you think?
25. December 2016
You told his parents to shut up. You have A LOT to apologise for, you were extremely disrespectful. You’re lucky, they’re giving you the option of returning back to their house. Other parents wouldn’t even want to hear your name being said in their house. This is your decision, but I agree with your boyfriend.
Oloni
I have a 1 year old son and live with the mother but I am miserable. I have tried everything to make it work not just for the sake of our child but because I love her but she is just so controlling and manipulative and miserable to be around all the time. I don’t know what to do. I want to stay and make it work but it seems like the only time we are both happy enough for the environment to not be toxic is when we are apart.
25. December 2016
Hey love, it sounds like you’ve tried to be there and make it work, but now you’re emotionally draining yourself. I think it’d be sensible if you had a conversation with the mother of your child and voice how you feel.
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