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Hi oloni , I’ve been with my boyfriend about 3 months . At first it was going good. Everything was perfect , but now I’m starting to think he just sees me as a fetish (he’s white, I’m black) he is forever talking about how it was always his dream to be with a black girl and how sex with black girls is 100 times better and it’s always about how perfect my body and skin is . He makes me laugh and his personality is everything I look for , we really are best friends , but should I take these things as red flags? Is he using me ? Am I just a fetish?
13. August 2017
From what you’ve explained it sounds like a fetish. I’d be weary if I were you. Have a conversation with him about how you feel and make your own decision about where you want the relationship to go.
Oloni
My girlfriend slept with a friend of mine before we were together and neither of them told me for 4 months. Even though it was before we got together she’s kept a secret from me and misled me and it’s all thats ever on my mind it drives me crazy I’ve always said I’d never get with a girl who’s got with a friend. Do you think it’s something that is simple to get over or am I right to feel this way or am I being crazy?
13. August 2017
While I do think it’s wrong to have kept it from you, most women feel like it’s a deal breaker for men… which it shouldn’t.. people have sex. She had sex with a friend of yours BEFORE she was with you. Not during, before..
If you have something good with a person, i think it’s a bit weak to call it off because of their sexual past.
However, your feelings are yours, if you’re mad about the secret then that’s a seperate argument and I understand.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I don’t really need advice per say I just want/need to hear some comforting words. Is this something I would book a call for or do you not offer this service?
13. August 2017
I once met a guy online, he was caring, funny, hardworking, family oriented and ambitious. We clicked instantly when we started calling each other, we spoke for 5 months and finally we decided to meet in person. I travelled to his area and took a friend with me, however when we got to the place we were supposed to meet up, he said he’d be 5 minutes with one of his friends. After an hour, him and his friend(s) finally showed up (me and my friend only expected him and one of his friends) however, there was 3 of them. We got into the car and it took us less than 30 seconds to get to the place they had left to come and get us, so already this was a red flag. When we got to his friends, there was 6 other guys in the room and they were all friendly however we felt a little bombarded with people. All of them started to try and fuck my friend and she got into arguments with all of them over the course of the night. Finally most of them left and it was just me and my friend, plus him and his friend. Obviously my friend and his got a lil too comfortable with each other, and decided it would be acceptable to have sex in the same bed as me and this guy I was seeing whilst we were trying to sleep. The next day, my friend was still being difficult and me and the guy I was seeing got into a huge row, which ended up in us travelling home that night. However as we were leaving he came storming out of the apartment yelling at me saying ‘you’re not done with me, you know you’re not done with me’ and as I told him to move out of my way he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me up against the wall, strangling me telling me to message him the second I got into the taxi to go to the coach station. Due to my friend causing a lot of unnecessary drama, I refused to talk to her on our way home as she was part of the reason me and the guy I was seeing got into a huge row. 6 and a half hours later we reached home and I didn’t speak to my friend. A week later, I got a message from my friend, not apologising for the way she behaved and putting us in a dangerous situation (by creating beef with everyone we didn’t know) she messaged me to tell me that in fact, she was now in a relationship with the guy I was seeing. That was the day I learned that hoes were only out for themselves and you can never trust someone you have never met or don’t 100% know.
13. August 2017
Oh wow
Hey Oloni, I’ve been single for two and a half years now, and I’ve been in situations when there was potential for some guys to be bae but it never happens 🤷🏾♀️. So I met this guy a month ago on a dating/social app and then it led to phone conversations and he eventually came round mine, we chilled smoked but didn’t go all the way. We’ve gone to eat and I’ve chilled with his people. But for the past week now, it just seems like the whole thing is off. I told him I liked him and he said aww that’s a good sign (lol ok) so now I regret even saying that. He works two jobs now, so he hardly has time, he would probs take a day to reply to my messages, but I can see he’s a bit active on snap. The type of person I am, is when I feel like it’s a waste of time I just walk away, but it’s early days. I just don’t know if he’s into me or not. Should I stay patient and see if it would get anywhere or do you think he’s not into me?
13. August 2017
He doesn’t like you hun.. and that’s fine, because someone out there will share their love with you FIRST and have mutual feelings.
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