Dear Oloni, I feel trapped. I am a very sexually curious person and I want to do anything and everything. I want one night stands, threesomes, orgies you name it. But I’m 24 and forever stuck at my parents house. They want me to stay with them until I get married. I am of age to do whatever I want but I somehow feel a moral obligation to be respectful towards them i.e. Come home at a reasonable time, clean the house etc. I can’t sneak off because of fear of being caught and It’s driving me crazy!!!! And what doesn’t help is that I also have very close-minded friends who will probably judge me for the things I want to do. I just want to enjoy my life is that too much to ask for?!
23. August 2017
Hey love, being independent is never too much to ask for. At the end of the day, you’re an adult so you need to make that big step.
If you feel like moving out could be the answer and something to consider. You can’t and shouldn’t live for your parents. For more advice, book a call with me here: http://simplyoloni.com/product/private-scheduled-call-session/
Oloni
Hi Oloni! Me & my partner have been together for 5 years now, we have a one year old and we are due our second in 5 months, we are both thrilled. But since I’ve been pregnant this time, I just can’t deal with him wanting to be sexual with me, I hate the thought of it and I’ve even had panic attacks during and after it’s that bad. I tried to tell him but he doesn’t understand. I don’t know if it’s just a pregnancy thing or not, but I just don’t know what to do anymore?
23. August 2017
Hey love congrats on your new bundle of joy.
You should never feel pressured into having sex and this is something that needs to be discussed immediately.
Being pregnant already comes with so much stress, and this shouldn’t be something else you should have to deal with.
Speak to him outside of the bedroom, because his behaviour is selfish. Explain exactly what you said to me, regaring your panic attacks.
All the best my dear.
Oloni
Hi oloni, so I’ve put on a lot of weight in the last year and I think this has caused my boyfriend to gradually lose interest in me. He isn’t cheating or anything (I go through his phone when he’s not around lol 😂) but we haven’t had sex in a month and he hardly gives me compliments now. I even asked him what’s up and he always just says he’s tired or it’s been a hectic day at work. I know the solution is just lose weight but it’s so hard. When the weight gain first started he even offered to sign up to the gym with me, for some reason it made me mad and I took it as him calling me fat and we had a big argument about it . He hasn’t said a thing about my weight since and I’ve gotten worse. I’m not like morbidly obese or anything but I look bigger than before. My dilemma is how do I go about spicing up our relationship as I go through this weight loss phase lol. I really love him but I feel like I’m losing him because of this.
23. August 2017
Hey hun! Why not tell your boyfriend how you feel? The love or attraction shouldn’t totally go out the window because you’ve put on weight.
Saying that it’s also vital to KEEP your partner interested. Have you thought about getting a new hairdo, change of wardrobe.. yes lingerie too.
If you’re serious about losing weight why not invest in a personal trainer?
Oloni
Hi Oloni I hope you’re doing wonderful today. First, thank you for all you’ve been doing, empowering women about exploring our sexuality and most importantly not feeling ashamed about it. So my lil sister who is 17 is going off to college and I’d like to have all around sex ed talk with her and I also would like to take her to the clinic to get checked. My question, is it appropriate to take her without my parents consent? I know how 9ja parents freak out about topics like this but I wish someone had educated me on sexual health when I was her age
23. August 2017
I don’t think it’s inappropriate, you’re being an amazing older sister.
Oloni
Hey Oloni. I graduated from a Russell group uni in July with a 2:1 in pharmaceutical science and I am starting my dream job on Monday. 35k a year, lol. My boyfriend (who I’ve been with since I was in year 11) dropped out of one of those midlands inks after 1st year. originally his plan was to do an apprenticeship however this did not go to plan. 3 Years on and he is in the exact place he was when he dropped out. He lives at home with his mum, and only ever leaves to purchase marijuana. I do love him as he was my first everything however he’s become waaaay to complacent with where he is in life. He is living off his mother and is making absolutely no effort to find work. I have applied for numerous roles for him however he is always failing to go to interviews. Oloni I love this man with all my heart, however he is making no effort to get on my level. Everyone is telling me to help him grind but I am really out of options. Please help.
20. August 2017
First off OMG CONGRATS!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 You should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!!
The only way is up! With that said, you need to dump this guy. Immediately. In fact after you finish reading this, call him and advise you meet up so you can let his ass go.
Now please understand that i’m not saying this because of all your new success. If you were working some small retail job I would still have the same attitude towards this dilemma.
From what you have described you have tried to ‘build him’, but you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I’m sorry but he’s an embarrassment. How can you see your girl make serious moves and still have a shitty attitude towards your life. It’s the fact that he doesn’t even bother to go to interviews that you help line up…. wth?
You should be with someone who is as driven as you. You bring so much to the table sis, and sadly he doesn’t.
Now make that phone call.
Oloni.
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