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Sorry, I fell asleep
I’ve been with my partner about 4 years. I met her a number of months after splitting with my wife and we moved in together fairly soon after meeting (3-4 months). We’ve never been overly sexual as a couple but in the last year it’s turned from “not overly sexual” to having to have a sneaky wank when there’s nobody around to stop me from losing my mind. I’ve tried to connect with her about this a dozen times or more but nothing is changing. I love her to death, she’s one of the best people I’ve ever met, but this side of a relationship is so important, I’ve no clue what to do.
20. August 2017
Heya, you might not be sexually compatible. Why not talk to her an express what you’d like from the relationship sexually.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’m a black girl talking to this white guy I met from Tinder. He’s not my usual type but he seems to be a cool guy, he’s funny, smart and has great taste in music. One day we were chilling at my place and he told me he couldn’t find his phone so he I decided to ring it for him. When I saw his phone, I saw that my name was saved as “Black”. That is not my name! He quickly picked up his phone when he saw me look at it. I didn’t say anything at the time (which I really regret). A part of me thinks I shouldn’t be concerned, it’s his phone and he does what he wants, but another part of me wants me to question him as to why he saved my name as that. I don’t want to come across as an angry black woman or someone just using the race card but it’s bothered me a bit. What advice can you give me?
18. August 2017
Okay, first of alll….
There is no such thing as a race card. What does this supposed card do to benefit you as a black woman, for you to ‘play it’? He’s out of line and it is never too late to call someone out on their bullshit.
My advice: Call him and explain how you felt… my guess is that you processed it all slowly. Saving your number as the colour of your skin is offensive, when he knows your name.
I would also advise you stop dating this asshole.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 months and he hasn’t really spoken about me to friends and stuff. I thought this was a red flag at first but he seems to be very reserved. Hardly talks about himself anyways(to others) so I’m still not sure how to feel about this. But my issue is I was going through his phone (I know I shouldn’t) and I was reading through his group chat and two of his friends I’ve slept with them before and I don’t think he knows. I’m absolutely panicking, it’s still early and I really really like him but I’m scared he might end it because if this. One close friend is too much already but 2 is crazy. What do I do???
18. August 2017
Sticky one! This is why you don’t go through phones. Now you’ve just put yourself in wahala (Trouble).
Tell him what you did and mention you’ve been intimate with his friends.
If you want me to keep it one hundred, I feel like most guys can get over one past fling that included their mate.. but two??? Sis you better hope he’s in love with you, because I don’t see it ending positively.
Hopefully he’s mature enough to understand.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I have been with my boyfriend for three years and I recently got a phone bill through for him it – it was more expensive than usual so I checked the numbers to see why and the numbers he has been texting are for a escort agency. Obviously I want to split up with this piece of shite however do I just split up and end it or try and get revenge?
18. August 2017
confront him then move on
Oloni
Hey Oloni, love what you do btw, God bless you girl! I am a 21 year old lady, 22 soon 🎉 and I am a virgin. I have been ready to have sex for the longest time but one, I tried with an ex and we were not successful. He is a lil inexperienced and I am tight (that shit hurts). Anyways, my question is I want to loose it with this older guy, I have no emotional connection with him, just pure roast. Would it be wise to do it? I have heard you get emotional attached to the first person you have sex with it so I am in two bits about going forward with it. I would appreciate your thoughts. Thank you in advance.
18. August 2017
Happy birthday in advance!
Right! I’m a firm believer of having sex for yourself & not because you think it’ll create a bond between you and your partner.
If you feel like you might get overly attached (which is normal for many) wait till you’re ready to do it with someone who is also emotionally connected to you.
There is no real wrong or right answer. My main concern is that you use protection and water based lube.
Oloni
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