Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi oloni, I know this dilemma might sound silly but just wanted your advice on this. My ex boyfriends mum passed 18 months ago and he was extremely close with her and when she passed it really broke him. He was always down and fell into depression. All that negative energy made me really resent him and I now it’s not his fault but I couldn’t deal with it now so I ended it. Fast forward to now and he’s really come back out of his shell and he seems to be really doing well for him self. We met again at a party recently and he was extremely charming and he reminded me of when we first met. I couldn’t sense any negative feelings of bitterness which was a relief. I’ve been thinking about him a lot and just feel so bad for leaving him when he was down and I just want to message him. What do you think I should do? I think I still like him too now so I don’t know if I should cross that bridge again
4. September 2017
Tough one. You could try to reach out to him and have a conversation. Let him know how you felt during the time you were together. Meeting on one occasion isn’t enough, in my opinion. That can’t/shouldn’t be the only way you decide to know if he is, what you want again.
I don’t think leaving someone when what they’re going through is starting to affect you is a bad thing… However, what if he experiences something terrible again, will you be able to cope?
Think about this long and hard before taking that step.
Oloni
Hey Oloni please help, I’m 19 and I’ve been in a relationship for a year now (my first boyfriend) i still love him in a way but i feel as if I’m getting bored. I feel this is because I didn’t have a hoe phase before i was with him. He is now beginning to talk about marriage and kids etc but i feel trapped. But at the same time i love his company. I don’t know whether i should break up with him or not?
3. September 2017
Only you know what to truly do. If you’re having doubts, think about it, talk to him and decide.
Oloni
Hey oloni, I have been seeing someone for nearly a year now and things are going extremely slow, I’m always ahead of myself so it being slow is teaching me to take time when getting to know a person. He teaches me many things in life and stirs me in the right direction. I feel like he’s made me a better person but my friends encourage me to do less because he’s not my boyfriend. They say you only cook for your man when he wifes you, but if I’m seeing you and you’re hungry, why shouldn’t I cook for you? Even when he’s not hungry I wana cook for him 😂Are they right? Should I be chilled until he makes me his girlfriend? What are the limits when you are only getting to know a person and not yet their significant other?
3. September 2017
Seeing each other for a year? Why has it been a year? Are you not the tiniest bit concerned? Your friends have a point and you NEED to have that conversation with him, if exclusivity is what you’re after.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I think I messed up. I’d been talking to this guy for some time and growing to like him a lot. But he hadn’t asked me out on a date yet so I took the plunge and asked him to go for a meal at a nice restaurant. It was an amazing date and Long story short the bill came and it was about £160. I ordered really expensive cocktails but I didn’t know they were that expensive. And to add insult to injury I left my purse in my other bag so the bill fell on him. He looked visibly annoyed and I asked what’s wrong and he said “you asked me out and now I’m paying, interesting”. I could just hear the disappointment in his voice. The thing is the date was actually amazing and he was a really lovely guy. I even offered to pay him back after the date but he just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. Weird thing is I still want to pursue things with him, so my question is how do show him I’m genuinely interested and really sorry for that first date ending like it did.
3. September 2017
Oh lord sis! Lol. Rookie mistake, never leave your purse at home. I’m confused as to why you didn’t look at the price of the drinks you ordered.
You could try reaching out to him apologising again, because let’s be honest, he had every right to be annoyed. If he doesn’t agree, you’re just going to have to chop this L and learn from it.
oloni
Hi oloni, I love your platform!! My boyfriend is really angry with me. He’s not a fan of Oral sex, he doesn’t want it nor does he give it to me. It makes me really frustrated. Other than that he’s perfect. So one night I got him really drunk and then sat on his face and grinded. He was so angry I thought he was gonna hit me or something. He left mine and hasn’t spoken to me much this week. I’ve apologised to him several times but he says he feels violated and disgusted. I know I shouldn’t have done that but to say he feels disgusted really hurt. I didn’t think doing that would put us on the brink like this and I just need some help. What do I do?
3. September 2017
If I’m completely honest, you’re out of order and quite disgusting. You should NEVER ever get anybody intoxicated so they can give into your sexual urges. I’m fuming as I type this, because it’s so unbelievably wrong.
Stay away from him as nothing positive will ever come from that relationship. If he had gotten you drunk to fulfil a fantasy of his, how would you feel? You’ve crossed the line. If you weren’t sexually compatible with him, then you should have left and looked for someone else who could give you what you desired.
Once again, intentionally getting someone drunk for sexual pleasure is rape.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!