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Hey oloni, love your work ! Basically I’m head over heels in love with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for just over a year now and are looking at putting a deposit on a house. However, whenever he goes out with his boys or with his colleagues I get intensely paranoid that he’s going to do the dirty despite having NO reason to believe he would. Thought this would go after a few months but this fear only seems to have grown. On the other hand he’s completely (and rightly) trusting when I go out without him. Is this unusual/what should I do without coming off as loopy as fuck?! Thanks in advance!
24. September 2017
You need to be honest and have a conversation with him. Perhaps something in a past relationship triggered this fear? You’re about to take a huge step with him, so make sure it’s discussed first.
Oloni
Dear Oloni. I was on my Mans phone trying to find the app which you can watch TV shows on, I went to his updates and then clicked ‘purchased’ section where you can see all apps downloaded and I noticed he had ‘Grindr’ quite far down which is an app for gay men to hook up? I was so confused I had to run my eyes. When he came back Into the room I just casually asked why he had that app is his purchase history laughing. He was like oh my boy must have done it for banter. (He grew up in South and his boys are all good) So I asked which boy then he changed his story to his colleague did it. When I asked why he said it was so long ago he couldn’t even remember and switched it to why I was looking through his purchased section. Our conversation moved on from there and we haven’t spoken about it since but it has been bugging me so much since and quite frankly creeping me out. Even our conversation since it happened (1 week ago or so) have been vague, blunt and we haven’t arranged to meet up, have sex or hang out as usual. I’m wondering if this is a cause for concern, I approached it wrong or If i’m just over thinking the whole thing? Please please advise on what I should do or say? Thank you x
24. September 2017
Hey hun, I think your man is gay and he’s not being honest to himself. Why would a friend or colleague download an app for men who are gay? It’s a bogus story and you need to have another conversation with him about it.
Oloni
Hi oloni, recently I gave my girlfriend oral sex and felt so disgusted in my self. Most of your followers will say grow up or something but the sensation I had has fully put me off going down on her ever again or for at least a long time. It just made me really upset as I was doing and I had to stop. She didn’t smell or taste bad but I just had this really negative feeling. I’ve done it for months and fell no type of way but now the idea of going down on her sounds disgusting to me. My girlfriend’s getting frustrated but obviously I can’t tell her the reason without her taking it the wrong way. So now I don’t know what to do. Any thing you’d recommend I do to get over this?
18. September 2017
Hey hun, you can’t and shouldn’t force yourself to do something, which quite clearly makes you feel uncomfortable. Have a conversation with your girlfriend and explain everything you told me.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I just found out my partner is in debt. We’ve been together for just under a year and things were going well, he’d treat me every now and then buy me presents etc. He has a stable 9-5 job and earns well over average but still somehow ended up in this mess..how do I help him without “crushing” his ego?
18. September 2017
Talk to him. Debt is NOT a joke, especially if it’s serious. You can help by advising him, allowing him to understand that we all make mistakes, and it’s how you fix it that matters.
Perhaps seek help from profesional financial advisors? Ask him nitty gritty questions to get to the bottom of how he got himself in this position. I think it’s great you want to help
Best of luck!
Oloni
He is moving abroad for a year for his business. Do you think long distance relationship works, or is it about wanting to make it work?
17. September 2017
It’s about having a goal. If you can say you have one with your partner, you’ll be fine. Good luck! ❤️
Oloni
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