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Good day Oloni. I’ve been w/ this man for almost 3 years now. He does everything for me, put me in one of his houses, got me a car and working on my business plus he put me into school. We do everything together including going to church, but we never had sex. He always says no, everytime I bring it up he ignores or changes the topic.
9. May 2023
Hey have a conversation with him and ask!! Say, “is there a reason why we haven’t been physical?”
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I hope all is well. Please forgive me, but this is a long one. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, and I’m cheating on him with a guy I met in Dubai. Lately, things have been very different, and we have not spent time with each other frequently. Bear in mind we live in Birmingham and are 20 mins apart, but we still live at home. I have bought this up, and he says we don’t have time as we both work full-time, which is unacceptable. So I went to Dubai for NYE with the girls, and at that time, it had been some months since I and my bf had been sexually active. We just disagreed before I flew out, so I was not happy with him and met this guy who was into me and very open with his life which has been a struggle with my bf. Returning to the UK, I see my fling more than my bf. I stay at his place in London when I need to go to the office, and it has been great! I even lied to the fling that I had dumped my bf, which is mad, and now I have turned into a liar. But I appreciate the effort and the time the fling takes to spend with me. We go on regular dates, TALK, and have sex, which I lack from my bf. I have had a discussion with my bf about how I feel, and he said he would try his best to be more proactive, but I’m yet to see any changes, and I’m bored with him. I have never met any of his family, and we are both in our mid-thirties, and I don’t understand his nonchalant behaviour as we are not getting younger, and he doesn’t align with my plans anymore. I also don’t see a future with the fling, as his ex-girlfriend & mother of his twins passed away 18 months ago. He has told me in the past he has said the girls he’s been seeing that he’s not ready for a relationship, but I should give him time to heal, please 😂 which is fair because I have recently lost a brother, and there is no amount of time to get over grieving. I have even met my flings sister, brother and cousins in a short amount of time. What do I do in this situation? I love my bf, but I’m afraid that I could be settling and that he does not want to marry me or have kids as he jokingly says we should have kids and marry in our 40s. (I tell him his mad and say, GOD FORBID)
11. April 2023
We’ll answer this on Laid Bare Podcast, look out for it.
Hello oloni, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend officially for about a year now. We’ve known each other for three. In the past he has secretly lied to me about going out with friends but he went to meet his ex. He met a girl at work and told me it was a guy and saved her name as a boy name so I wouldn’t find out. I genuinely don’t trust him in the slightest and he genuinely disgust me. But I feel confused because I still care to or love him but I also want to leave but I’m also scared of what he’ll do. I just don’t know
18. March 2023
You know you need to get out of this asap. You don’t trust him and it’s understandable as to why. If you have any fears speak to close friends and family, so they’re aware if the situation. Hope you leave hun
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I have been living with him since august last year. In December of last year, I found out that he has been cheating on me with several girls. He brings them home when I go to work and makes me wait extra hours after work because “ his guys are around”. I’ve confronted him about it and he apologized and begged me but it’s really so hard for me to get the fact that he cheated but I am finding it more difficult to break up with him because I love him a lot. Please how can I breakup with him and what can I do to heal?
28. February 2023
You need to get rid of him. He asks you stay at work so he can cheat MORE? Do you know how disrespectful that is? It says everything you need to know about the type of person he is and it’s certainly not one you stay committed to. Read the relationships chapter in my book. There’s a section on how to move on from a hurtful break up. Please read it and please leave.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, a few days ago my boyfriend ‘jokingly’ told me he got another girl pregnant. I dont see something like this as a joke, especially since he has cheated in the past. He says it was just a ‘joke’ because he was annoyed with me. I mentioned that due to his past cheating its a concerning thing to ‘joke’ about and he says it would never happen. im now worried that it wasnt a joke, whats your opinion?
28. February 2023
You need to have a conversation and give him a chance to be serious. Tell him this is an opportunity to be truthful before you hear it anywhere else. What kind of stupid joke is that? If it’s true you need to run. If it is false explain that he needs to switch his brain on and to learn not to be so insensitive.
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