Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey Oloni, so there’s this girl right, we’ve been friends but of late we’ve been doing dates, at first I thought it was lunch but now she wants a dinner date and actually calls it a “date”, the dilemma here is that she gives the right signals but because she’s my friend first I feel she could be using me for attention and for the little financial services I sort out like UberEATS, etc… so as a guy totally confused here, maybe you could share some light as to what the hell is going on here. 17. June 2018

I have a couple of questions! Is there ever any intimacy between the two of you, or is the friendship completely platonic?

If it’s the latter, she’s definitely getting a wee bit too comfortable lol.

Talk to her and ask what’s going on and if she’s actually interested in you. Male friends can pick up the bill, but not alll the time… even when dating actually

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I gave birth to my son 18 months ago and haven’t had sex with my husband since. I’ve felt damaged since giving birth and sex scares me. My husband was really caring and supportive, he didn’t even ask to have sex with me until about 6/7 months after my birth cause he knew I felt uncomfortable. Couple months ago he began making a lot of advances and I always rejected him. The lack of sex has been causing a lot of arguments between us. Recently I needed to lose his laptop cause our baby threw up on mine and he’s been on forums asking advice about divorce because of the lack of sex. I’m absolutely terrified he’ll leave me, he’s a fantastic man and father but I just don’t feel ready but I don’t want to divorce over this. One of my friends said I should give him a pass but that sounds crazy to me. What do I do? 17. June 2018

Hey love! First off congratulations on your new bundle of joy. It’s very common for women who have just given birth to have a low libido. Your body has experienced something new. I’ve had women talk to me about being off of sex before, but the best advice I can give you is to talk to your husband immediately and tell him what you found.

It’s important you talk about it, because from what you’ve described it doesn’t seem as if you have. Suggest going to therapy together so you can get some professional help. I really do hope if works out.

good luck!

Oloni

Hey Oloni, so I had my second date with this guy I genuinely really like. We both cooked and just chilled at his and eventually had sex. This was really out of character for me… he hasn’t texted me in a few days and I don’t want to get paranoid. We both agreed to take it slow and we can do what we want, I’ve expressed I’m into him. I’m telling myself he’s probably busy, but idk… I’m always texting first. What do I do? 11. June 2018

Heya hun, it sounds like he’s dipped. It’s frustrating but common thing. I think you should move on from this guy, especially if it’s you initiating all the conversations. Nothing screams “not that into you” than that.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, my ex has recently got into a new relationship and it has made me really uncomfortable about our friendship. We’d decided to stay friends after breaking up, although we’d been sleeping with each other on and off since doing so – for about 6 months. Im happy that she’s found someone new but I feel like our friendship is holding me back from moving on and getting over her. Basically I feel like being friends with my ex is really unhealthy for me but I’m not sure how to approach the situation? 11. June 2018

Heya hun, it’s time to get some space from your ex. It sounds like you’re not completely over her, which is normal, especially if you were still sexually intimate for a while. However, now it’s time to think about what’s best for yourself and to me that sounds like distance, till you’re emotionally ready to be friends again.

Oloni

Hi Oloni! Im a 21 female and lost my virginity a week ago. we were protected he got tested before we did it and he’s clean. but how come its been a week since it happened and my vagina is starting to itch? is it because its irritaded due to my first time? kinda confused. Thanks!! 8. June 2018

Hey love, there could be a number of reasons why you might be feeling itchy. My advice would be to book an appointment with a sexual health nurse immediately.

Oloni

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