Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hello Oloni, so me and my fiancee have two children together and one is 3 years old and the other is 5 years old. during this summer holiday I wanted to have a family holiday but my fiancee has refused to come as he likes to stay local and doesnt find the need in going. So I said i might aswell go with my two children and bring my older sister so she could help but he has refused because he doesnt trust me taking “his” kids to a friendly waterpark which is suitable for babies. I always ask for us to gon Holidays as a couple or atleast as a family just for memories but he refuses and im started to get fed up of his behaviour, please what should I do? cause all he does in work work work 18. July 2018

Hey my love! I’m sooo sorry you’re going though this. He sounds extremely selfish and controlling. It’s almost as if he doesn’t trust you.

You have two kids and deserve a break away with them, so I can’t possibly understand why your partner is making a big deal out of it, especially if he’s unwilling to come along.

Try sitting down and having a conversation with him to get to the root of the problem. It’s also vital you explain, the memories you’d like to create with him and how much they’ll mean to your children one day.

This is someone you’re planning to marry so make sure you’re paying attention to his behaviour. It might be very useful seeking couples therapy together.

Oloni

Hi oloni, I said something quite inappropriate to a colleague I really fancied. It was at work drinks and I drunk too much and I said I want to sit on his face until I came. Now things are really awkward between me and him. I’m even scared he may tell HR, he’s really been keeping his distance from me this past week. How do you suppose I fix this situation? 18. July 2018

Drunk or not you have to be extremely careful with how you speak to your colleagues.. in fact anyone. It’s really inappropriate and could easily make anyone uncomfortable. I think it’s important you apologise face to face and explain that it’ll never happen again.

It’d also be good idea to probably be mindful of how much you drink to make sure this type of situation isn’t repeated.

Oloni

Hi oloni, there’s this really good looking guy at my office who I would really love to get to know. We’re both the only black ones in the office and he seems really polite but he’s never attempted to ask me out for lunch or ever really try to get to know me. I stalked his socials and he doesn’t seem like the type to only date white women. Should I take it that he’s not interested or should I take the plunge and ask him out myself or just leave it alone? 18. July 2018

I don’t think there’s any harm in making the first move. He could be shy or assume you might be in a relationship. See how he responds and ask him out for lunch during work. Please keep me updated!

Good luck

Oloni

Hi oloni, So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months. We are both 20, I’m a uni student and he works full time. I don’t know how or why, but he is ALWAYS broke, I’m talking sub-zero broke. I feel terrible about it but lately I’m beginning to get a little frustrated with him; I’ve been paying for his train/coach tickets whenever he comes to see me, I’ve paid for all of our dates, and whenever we go out to eat I pay for our food. Bare in mind, I’m on minimum wage and I only work like 10-15 hours a week. Although I don’t make much, I try to help him where I can. There’s also been occasions where I’ve given him the last of whatever I have to help him out. He lives with his parents yet they are under the impression that he is okay financially, and he refuses to ask them for money. I’m beginning to feel like he relies on me financially, which annoys me because he really has parents that can afford to help him. Obviously I can’t afford to financially support two people and save over summer at the same time. I really do care about him, but I refuse to go broke for a guy and it seems like that’s where I’m headed. How I do I handle this? Am I shallow for getting frustrated at him because of his financial situation? 10. July 2018

He has a job, yet relies on you financially? Yuck what is that? Don’t you ever ask questions like, uhh “what did you spend your money on?” He either has bad money management, or he’s just taking advantage of you. Either way he has to go. I don’t think a man should ever feel comfortable enough to allow his girlfriend to finance his life. It screams irresponsibility to me and comes across very lousy, especially if he KNOWS what position you’re in.

I’m sure he’s aware of what he’s doing, so tell him to either fix up or break up.

You’re a tad silly for enabling him too. You’re a student, so by default, you’re broke. Why did you even think it was okay to give him that much money? Learn to be a bit selfish, because you’re only going to play yourself in the end.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’m 20 and have just been diagnosed with herpes. I feel as though no one really understands it, even I don’t, and so no one will ever want me once they find out. What do you think and how should I go on from here? 8. July 2018

Heya hun, there are plenty of people who are misinformed about the virus so I understand your concern. I’ve added a link to a blog where I gave some information about it here: https://simplyoloni.com/usher-herpes-and-everything-you-should-know-about-the-virus/

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