Dear Oloni, me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now and in the beginning, things were good. My current situation is that he makes absolutely no effort in the relationship and gives me no time, attention or affection at all. All his time is devoted to working (he works 7 days a week) and any spare time is spent either sleeping or with his other priorities (friends and family). He literally makes me feel like i’m not important in his life. Any time I bring it to his attention he apologises and changes for like a week, but it never lasts. I really don’t want to throw 5 years away.. but i’m not sure what else to do, having constantly tried to arrange for us to spend time together and always being blown off or told that ‘he’s busy’. What do you suggest?
8. July 2018
This is such a difficult one and I completely understand why you might feel confused on what to do. But what good is it committing to someone who barely has any time for you?
I understand he works extremely hard so it’s also not his fault totally, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. I mean, he is right?
Try having another conversation with him and mention how you only see progress for a week, which isn’t good enough. Try explaining that you’re worried about the future of your relationship and ask him if he has a resolution. If he’s spending all his time working, how does he FEEL not having any time to spend it with you?
You also can’t/shouldn’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve been in it for so long. That’s not how to build or carry on a successful relationship.
Oloni
Hi Oloni I’ve been seeing a boy a guy older than me for 9 months we have sex, I stay with him and he’s told me he sees a future with me and wants us to last so he doesn’t want to get into a relationship yet which I agreed to. The problem is he likes and comments on girls pictures all the time and even posts them on his stories please tell me what to do?
8. July 2018
He’s trying to stay single, but also continue to get relationship benefits. If you’re not okay with the set up, talk to him and tell him how you feel. If it doesn’t change and he still chooses not to commit, thank him for his time and move on beloved.
Oloni
Hi Oloni thanks for answering my question. I decided to leave my girlfriend and I’ve been allot more happy recently. I believe I made the right decision thanks to your advice.
7. July 2018
Dear Oloni. I’m in Ibiza on a girls trip and basically kind of cheated on my man last night. The plot twist is… that it was with a girl. My girls and I befriended another girl group and we all were at the same club, everyone was kissing and grinding each other other as girls do when they’re drunk but then me and one particular girl took things into the toilet cubicle and it went off. We fingered eachother, ate eachother out and grinded naked till multiple orgasms. It was so amazing I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m literally so confused as to whether this is a one time lesbian holiday experience or something more. I have been in an 8 month relationship with my man and we both love and trust each other. My head is all over the place and I’m unsure if this even counts as real treating as no penetration was technically involved, do I need to tell him? Also, what does this mean for my sexuality because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it to happen again…? Please help 🙁
7. July 2018
Hey love, yes you have cheated and you might need to rethink your relationship and ask yourself why you did it.
As for your sexuality, I can’t define that for you, only you can, there could be a chance you might be bisexual.
Make sure you get tested asap and have a conversation with your boyfriend and tell him what happened.
Oloni
Hello Oloni! I’m having troubles in my current relationship because my boyfriend is jealous of mine and my best friend’s relationship. My best friend is a guy and we met in university, we basically spent most of every year seeing eachother everyday so understand we’re very close. My boyfriend doesn’t trust that me and my friend are only friends, and I’ve already explained to him that I am not in any way sexually attracted to my friend. My boyfriend is stopping me from going to see my friend, always goes through our chats and he deleted every picture of him on my phone. I don’t know what to do about this because I feel if I act out it’ll make me look guilty of something. Other than this I love my boyfriend more than anything and I really want it to work out with him.
7. July 2018
Your boyfriend is crazy. Run.
Anyone who deletes images/messages off someones else’s phone should not be in a relationship.
Whilst I understand why boy/girl close friendships can make partners uncomfortable there are ways to go about dealing with the issue, this isn’t it.
I genuinely don’t think this relationship is healthy.
Oloni
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