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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi oloni, there’s this really good looking guy at my office who I would really love to get to know. We’re both the only black ones in the office and he seems really polite but he’s never attempted to ask me out for lunch or ever really try to get to know me. I stalked his socials and he doesn’t seem like the type to only date white women. Should I take it that he’s not interested or should I take the plunge and ask him out myself or just leave it alone? 18. July 2018

I don’t think there’s any harm in making the first move. He could be shy or assume you might be in a relationship. See how he responds and ask him out for lunch during work. Please keep me updated!

Good luck

Oloni


Hi oloni, So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months. We are both 20, I’m a uni student and he works full time. I don’t know how or why, but he is ALWAYS broke, I’m talking sub-zero broke. I feel terrible about it but lately I’m beginning to get a little frustrated with him; I’ve been paying for his train/coach tickets whenever he comes to see me, I’ve paid for all of our dates, and whenever we go out to eat I pay for our food. Bare in mind, I’m on minimum wage and I only work like 10-15 hours a week. Although I don’t make much, I try to help him where I can. There’s also been occasions where I’ve given him the last of whatever I have to help him out. He lives with his parents yet they are under the impression that he is okay financially, and he refuses to ask them for money. I’m beginning to feel like he relies on me financially, which annoys me because he really has parents that can afford to help him. Obviously I can’t afford to financially support two people and save over summer at the same time. I really do care about him, but I refuse to go broke for a guy and it seems like that’s where I’m headed. How I do I handle this? Am I shallow for getting frustrated at him because of his financial situation? 10. July 2018

He has a job, yet relies on you financially? Yuck what is that? Don’t you ever ask questions like, uhh “what did you spend your money on?” He either has bad money management, or he’s just taking advantage of you. Either way he has to go. I don’t think a man should ever feel comfortable enough to allow his girlfriend to finance his life. It screams irresponsibility to me and comes across very lousy, especially if he KNOWS what position you’re in.

I’m sure he’s aware of what he’s doing, so tell him to either fix up or break up.

You’re a tad silly for enabling him too. You’re a student, so by default, you’re broke. Why did you even think it was okay to give him that much money? Learn to be a bit selfish, because you’re only going to play yourself in the end.

Oloni


Hi Oloni, I’m 20 and have just been diagnosed with herpes. I feel as though no one really understands it, even I don’t, and so no one will ever want me once they find out. What do you think and how should I go on from here? 8. July 2018

Heya hun, there are plenty of people who are misinformed about the virus so I understand your concern. I’ve added a link to a blog where I gave some information about it here: https://simplyoloni.com/usher-herpes-and-everything-you-should-know-about-the-virus/


Dear Oloni, I and a woman and I want a threesome with two guys before I settle down. How do I go about it ? Thanks xx 8. July 2018

Heya love, there are plenty ways to find men who’d be down to have an mmf threesome. First I’d suggest online apps such as plenty of fish, tinder, bumble and happn. There’s also a site designed for people who are into threesomes called Threesome Contacts. They’re a sex community for straight and bi men/women. You can try the good old fashioned way too by meeting new people on a night out.

When you do find two guys up for it, make sure you ask about their latest sexual health check and use protection at all times!

Oloni

 

When to Finally Have Sex With The Guy You’re Dating


Dear Oloni, me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now and in the beginning, things were good. My current situation is that he makes absolutely no effort in the relationship and gives me no time, attention or affection at all. All his time is devoted to working (he works 7 days a week) and any spare time is spent either sleeping or with his other priorities (friends and family). He literally makes me feel like i’m not important in his life. Any time I bring it to his attention he apologises and changes for like a week, but it never lasts. I really don’t want to throw 5 years away.. but i’m not sure what else to do, having constantly tried to arrange for us to spend time together and always being blown off or told that ‘he’s busy’. What do you suggest? 8. July 2018

This is such a difficult one and I completely understand why you might feel confused on what to do. But what good is it committing to someone who barely has any time for you?

I understand he works extremely hard so it’s also not his fault totally, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. I mean, he is right?

Try having another conversation with him and mention how you only see progress for a week, which isn’t good enough. Try explaining that you’re worried about the future of your relationship and ask him if he has a resolution. If he’s spending all his time working, how does he FEEL not having any time to spend it with you?

You also can’t/shouldn’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve been in it for so long. That’s not how to build or carry on a successful relationship.

Oloni


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