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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey Oloni, all my school life I lived in a all white area and its only when I came to Uni I’ve been hanging around other black people. It was a bit of a shock in first year as all I was used to was white my white friends but over Uni I have started mingling more with other social groups. Because of this, all my past relationships have been with white girls, and black girls seem to judge me because of that. Where I lived, in my social circle there wasnt any. People forget that the whole UK isnt as diverse as London. I really do want a black girlfriend and I always thought I would find one on my course, but my course is basically 98% male dominated. Uni is now over in a few weeks and family are always asking me about my relationship status as my siblings seem to have all found their other halves at Uni and started their lives after it. 9. June 2015

This is honestly one of those things you can’t rush, women can’t drop out of the sky unless you go looking for them black, white, orange or brown. However if you’re over 21 I have an event for singles taking place July 11th

Get a ticket here https://simplyoloni.com/simply-olonis-mingling-soiree-2/

Hope to see you!


Hi Oloni. Basically I have a really fucked up dilemma. I was with my ex for like 2 years on and off. It was the real deal and we were fully in love. However we were to young and the commitment we expected didn’t match our maturity level. We both did dumb things eg cheating talking bad to eachother etc. We broke up but I always wanted to get back with her. Always initiating convo telling her I love her etc. For over a year after a break up we would get together often and have sex do couple stuff etc. Until she revealed to me that she was still bitter and couldn’t have contact with me because she was stuck in a rut emotionally. That was about 4 months ago. Here is the plot twist. In that time I’ve landed my dream job, on the back of that I’ve launched a few projects I was working on whilst I was with her that have given me some online notoriety. It’s also led to me being invited to speak at a few events, some of which she was present at. I’ve also started boxing again and in quite good shape physically. I’m paid extremely well whereas before with her I was kind of broke. Now she has come back to me recently saying she can look past all my past mistakes and work things out with me. She tells me now how she loves me so much and that it has been painful being with out me. I’m not sure how much I can trust this as previously she was bitter for over a year and now within a few months she can look past everything. Is this too much of a coincidence? I do still love her but is she just seeing my success and wanting to be involved because of that. If I was still working in a bar she wouldn’t see me at these events or on youtube so I don’t know if she would think to get in touch. I really don’t know what to do, in an ideal world we’d get back together. 9. June 2015

This seems like you need to have a proper think and conversation. I don’t know her but you do. Is it in her nature to somewhat use people when it benefits her? Are these traits that she holds? Some people usually know what their partners are like in terms of that aspect. Talk with her and ask what’s changed. If the relationship was already bumpy, with a history of unhealthy behaviour no amount of success will make this a fairy tale ending.


Hey, yesterday you got a message from a lady asking about the LGBT community amongst other things. As a member myself, I thought I’d just share. If she goes on Plenty of Fish there are loads on there, LOADS. London Pride is June 27th, there will be a lot of gay raves on this weekend. Not that I’m a promoter but ‘Bad B*tches’ is a good race to start at. It’s in Vauxhall. Hope this finds her well. We need new faces lol. 9. June 2015

Thank you so much for sharing. It’s truley appreciated.


I think I’m sexually attracted to my friend. I imagine myself having sex with her sometimes and I don’t know if it’s weird. I had a dream about it too and sometimes I get hints from her but I’m not sure what to do next. Advice? I’m a girl too 9. June 2015

You’d have to describe the type of hints you get from your friend. Does she know about your sexual preference? The best advice I can give is to make sure you’re really ready if you want to tell her. Some people do have thoughts about sleeping with their friends, but half the time it’s a phase, so make sure it’s not just one.


Hey Oloni, Ive never had sex with a guy before because I don’t find them attractive. I told my friends and family that I want to focus on my education and get my money up. Now I’ve got my degree and I’ve got a full time job. But I know something’s missing. I’ve kissed a girl before and it felt so right but that was in college. I have no idea where to find lesbians in London. Recently I met this guy at a bar, he started flirting with me. I felt uncomfortable and told him I am a lesbian. He said that’s cool, he’s got loads of gay and lesbian friends and I thought maybe he could introduce me to them or I could find out more about the LGBT community in London. We were messaging for about a week and to be fair he was telling about black gay clubs in Vauxhall and white ones in soho. He asked me to meet up with him for drinks, my best friend came along and we were drinking and joking around. At the bar there was an extremely attractive butch female smiling at me. The guy noticed and kissed me. I was tipsy and took 4 seconds to push him off me. The girl disappeared. I went to the toilet because I was shocked. While I was there, the guy started telling my best friend that he was going to try to convert me and how he’s going to make me his. I feel offended and I don’t know what to do. If I lock him off I don’t know how is meet anyone from the LGBT community 8. June 2015

You clearly need to have a word with this so called friend of yours, his action were highly inappropriate and from what you’ve written has made you feel very uncomfortable. You don’t need to be around someone in hopes that you’ll meet other people from the LGBT community, you can do that by yourself. There are online apps and even sites such as meetup.com where you can get to know people who have the same interest etc as yourself.


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