Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey Oloni girl I need advice. It’s a bit heavy so my boyfriend of five years just proposed and I was over the moon until he dropped a bomb..two years ago, he had a one night fling with someone else. I found out when we were drunk one night and he admitted it. He swears it was a mistake and kept quiet to avoid hurting me, but here’s the twist…the other person recently died. She was his ex girlfriends, friend. Now I’m stuck. He says he’s fully committed to me and wants to move forward, but I feel betrayed and don’t know if I can trust him again. Am I crazy to forgive him and go ahead with the wedding, or should I walk away? I’m so torn 10. November 2024

This is a huge betrayal and it feels so twisted due to who she is, the friend of an ex? I understand she has passed away and it’s very sad, but her not being here today doesn’t change the fact that he hid this lie for some time AND proposed? What else has he lied about? Marriage is a serious commitment and if there’s already some distrust, I wouldn’t jump the broom right now. Take your time to really see how you feel and perhaps talk to a therapist. If he’s cheated before, why wouldn’t he do it again?

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I was out shopping and looked very cute may I add lol and this man approached me, he asked for my number and I don’t know why but I gave it to him because he was very charming and something in my mind was telling me this man has money ! After WhatsApping it turns out he is a millionaire lol I have a boyfriend btw but it’s complicated so that’s why I didn’t feel bad for giving out my number , however I don’t know if I should give this man my energy and go on a date or give my energy to the boyfriend who I’m not 100% with atm.. any advice would help please 6. November 2024

Girl, if you’re not officially in a relationship with either talk to them both.
oloni

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My bf and I have been together for 2 years and recently have had a massive hiccup in our relationship. I caught him with a screenshot from a dating app and some inappropriate pictures in his phone. He swears up and down that he never sent them and it was only ever messages. The plot twist however is that the dating profile screenshot was a man, my bf has never expressed being bisexual or any attraction to men in past. We have talked about it and he says that it will not affect our relationship because he only wants to be with me. But he is also not planning of ever ‘coming out’. I think he’s being honest when he says he loves me but I can’t get over the feeling that if he has not explored his bisexuality fully that I may catch up cheating again with a man to fulfil the sexual needs I cannot as a women. What do I do? Support him within our relationship 2. November 2024

Sexuality can be complex, and sometimes people only explore it fully later on. If he’s committed to being with you, his attraction to men doesn’t have to be an issue, as long as there’s trust and clear boundaries. Have an honest conversation so both of you feel secure and understood.

Oloni

Hi Oloni me and my bf of two years enjoy going to sex parties sometimes. Although the last one we went to I wanted to go home earlier than he did, so he stayed after I left around 2am. We weren’t in our home town but it did make me feel some type of way. My friends have all said he was wrong 2. November 2024

It makes sense that you’d feel uneasy leaving separately from a sex party… especially out of town, can feel v off. It might be worth chatting with him about setting clearer boundaries for next time so you’re both on the same page. Cus what is he staying behind to do??

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I stupidly got into a situation with a man that has a girlfriend. We were in a relationship for 6 years and I eventually had a child with him. He has kids with her also but my child has not ever met their siblings so is often excluded from family events on his side. I am no longer with him, I finally saw the light! Should I tell his gf/bm that he has another child? I genuinely don’t want him but want my child to know their siblings. 1. November 2024

Hey love, that’s a tough situation. Your priority is your child, so I’d approach it from that angle. You could reach out to her respectfully, keeping it focused on the siblings having a relationship. Just be prepared..she may react strongly, and it could get complicated. Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons and ready for any fallout. Good luck!

oloni

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