Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Grab your girls (or come solo!) and join us for the ultimate Empowerment Brunch, hosted by the queen of vibes herself—Oloni!
This brand-new event is all about building connections and celebrating sisterhood. Expect an afternoon like no other—fun, laughter, and deep connections await! Whether you’re bringing your besties or coming to make new friends, this is the place to be.
Hi Oloni, a few years ago I had a child for a guy who flat right denied the child, even to this very day. A couple years later I hear that he had another child but this time he isn’t being a deadbeat and he’s actually taking care of the child. Not too long ago I saw pics of the child and felt like the child strongly resembled my own child. A couple days ago I got a heads up from a friend of a friend that they know who the mother of his other child is and asked whether or not I want to come to her as a woman to expose him for being a deadbeat to my child. I don’t usually like creating passa for myself but at the same time I feel like she has a right to know if her child has a half sibling out there that’s not being taken care of as well as wanting him to take responsibility once and for all. What’s your take on all of this?
29. March 2017
Oooh what a sticky situation! If I’m completely honest, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to reach out to her, especially after he flat out, tried to deny your child. It must be hurtful. You’re not wrong for wanting to tell her that her child has a half sibling.
You should also try to put him on child support and get a DNA test through the courts. It’s terrible that he’s behaved this way towards you and your child. I truly hope everything can be resolved, fathers are important and should never turn their backs on their own kids.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 1.5 years now and I feel happy to lose my virginity to him. Everytime he’s tried to penetrate me, he manages to get a little way in, before it feels like he’s hitting something and I feel uncomfortable. I have tried lots of foreplay and lube, but nothing seems to work. Please could you shed some light on this? Thanks!
29. March 2017
Hey hun! Well done for for reaching this new stage in your sexuality. You have nothing to fear as this happens to several women all the time. Make sure the next time you try, you’re completely relaxed and in a position that will make you comfortable, such as missionary.
What I’d also suggest is much longer foreplay to help you feel even more aroused. So make sure that as well as kissing etc, either you or him can use your fingers to help stimulate either your clitoris, or the entrance to your vagina. I know you said you used lube but you never mentioned what kind, so I think you should try a water based one.
Keep giving it a try and remember that losing your virginty as a woman through vaginal penetration is never the easiest/greatest experience for many.
Oloni
Hi Oloni,I knew this guy for 3 years and we always spoke,I knew he had a girlfriend but I wanted him anyways coz I’ve never connected to someone so much,late 2016 he confessed he liked me too and we both agreed to get involved,at first I’m like I have nothing to loose but I think I fell in love with him over time,we’ve had sex a couple of times,we have broken up but he came back to me and I accepted him,recently I told him I don’t want to have sex anymore and he got angry that I did give him an explanation as to why,there was a time I told him I was gonna take morning after pill,I later had side effects but he didn’t call me,I complained and that was when he called me but i didn’t pick,now we are not on talking terms because he said I didn’t explain my decision not to have sex and I refused to pick his call when he called me,what do I do please?
29. March 2017
He has a girlfriend. Leave this unfaithful weirdo alone. You not wanting to have sex should be the least of his worries.
Please make sure that anything like feeling sick after taking the morning after pill is taken care of. As sometimes when side effects such as vomiting happens, it means you need to go back and take it again.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I met this guy a year ago at a mates party we ended up having sex as he’s a chilled guy and we was vybzing so it just felt right. The next day everything was good and we said our good byes. Couple weeks after that we hooked up again. Heres the problem. He’s a nice guy, sex is amazing but he’s soo quiet! It’s like when he contacts me he only knows how to have ‘basic’ conversations. We’ve spoke on a couple occasions since then but I feel like it’s me leading the conversation more. Since we last hooked up he’s been asking to take me out but I’ve been making 101 excuses as I’m scared to go out with him and it’ll be awkward silences. Do I give him a chance or is it only sexual chemistry that we share? Please help! X
29. March 2017
He could either be quiet or perhaps you might need to get to know him more so you can see the real him. I say go on the date and if you’re not feeling it, end your date night faster.
Oloni
hi oloni, i slept with this guy i liked and we were at his house. around 30mins into it i was set up to have a threesome with him and his friend. to make life easy i just said okay to it as i didnt want to be forced. please, i dont wsnt to call out rape as i consented but i want to let him know i’m hurt. We still talk as much as we did before this… how do i tell him im hurt
29. March 2017
Hey hun, do you mind telling me why you were hurt? Do you feel a though you regretted it, or was this something that hit you later? It’d be great if you can go into detail for me.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!