Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hear my stupid self out: So I’m in a relationship with this girl. She likes/loves me but I don’t feel her like on that level. She’s asked before if I loved her and I admitted to her that I don’t. I’ve hinted at ending the relationship but she doesn’t want to. We’re about to be separated since I’m done with school. She’s really nice, great person to chill with so I don’t want to hurt her. My dilemma is do I try to (find) love (for) her if that’s possible or just be cold hearted and cut it off?
6. June 2017
It doesn’t make you cold hearted if you decide you’d rather be single. Find some courage and keep it real.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I recently found out that my bf was messaging a woman on a war game that he plays on his phone for almost two weeks. He does not know this woman as players are from all around the world. In the messages I read, he asked her to change her account name to his name with ‘bae’ on the end (implying that she was his ‘bae’) and she did. He was using inappropriate emojis such as ‘😍😘’ and she was buying him game packs. After confronting him, he claims that he was simply using her and manipulating her into buying him game packs (they’re around £80 a pack) as she was spending £100s a week on the game. He said he would never intend to hurt me and he never meant anything that he said in an inappropriate way. However, I feel like maybe this is just a cover story. Anyway, he’s now deleted the game (I asked him to) and we’re trying to work through it, although I’m struggling to forget it as this is the first time he has ever done such a thing to me and I feel truly heartbroken and let down. Am I overreacting and should I give him another chance?
5. June 2017
Heya hun! It is extremely odd that he’s done this. It also shows clear signs of his character. He’s busy giving another girl hope whilst in a relationship with you, that’s not okay. Regardless of his reasoning it’s still a terrible thing to do. He’s out there making some random chick change her username to ‘xyz’s bae’ and you’re totally clueless about it.
It’s up to you to decide whether or not you should truly take him back, but it all boils down to whether or not you can trust him.
Oloni
Is having sex too soon a deal breaker if you want to get serious with a guy?
5. June 2017
Not all guys! I know couples who are still together despite having sex on the first date. I also hear of the typical stories where the guy never calls back.
My suggestion? Do what makes you feel comfortable but also be wise!
Oloni
Hi oloni, so I’ve started dating this guy and things have been going really well. I’ve told him that i’m wanting something serious and he’s told me that’s what he wants too. We talk almost everyday. He’s said that he’s not just looking for sex and fun but does have sexual undertones in the way that he talks to me; he said that this was because he’s so attracted to me. Just for a couple of days in the evening our conversation has gotten sexual and I’ve sent a few photos and videos. He told me that all that talk we’ve had has really turned him on and he has to relieve himself but wanted one last video of me and I said that I didn’t want to send him one. He got really annoyed and said that I can’t do that to him and now he’s stopped talking to me. Am I just kidding myself thinking he wants more than sex or was I in the wrong for turning him on those nights?
5. June 2017
There’s absolutely nothing attractive about a guy who can’t take no for an answer, then tries to guilt trip you. You’re getting to know him and sadly, his true colours are starting to show. I would be careful with this guy and pay attention to this red flag. When you do speak again explain how uncomfortable he made you feel, you did nothing wrong.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I hope all is well. Just want to say a huge well done on what you are doing in the media world. You are a huge inspiration to all of us; especially the African community. tres bien! My dilemma is as follows.. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 months now and I am in love with her mother. It’s mad I know. I’m 24 years old and I love my girlfriends mum. I prefer to stay over at my girls place just so I can be close to her mum. When I see her at the dinner table looking like a scrumptious meal I feel like giving it all up and having myself deep in her guts and rearranging her organs. My girl is attractive don’t get me wrong, but she’s second best to her mum. Part of me wants to grow old with my girl so I can see her turn into her mum; she’s nearly there just not fully. I think of my girls mum when I’m penetrating her, I feel bad but it’s so satisfying in a naughty way. I’ve been tempted to accidentally walk into the bathroom whilst she’s showering or even leave the bedroom door slightly open whilst I stroke my dragon or maybe I could just say something to her? I don’t know. It’s the way she looks at me, starring into my eyes like she’s looking at my soul and my deeper feelings. Maybe it’s my 13 year old inner child coming to the forefront. I don’t know how I should move forward, any advice?
5. June 2017
This is so inappropriate. Fantasies are normal but this sounds like you’re close to trying to fulfil it. You and I both know what you’re thinking is wrong. Perhaps this might be an indication that this relationship isn’t for you, especially when all you think about is her mum.
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