Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
Sorry, I fell asleep
Hey Oloni, I’m a female with flat nipples and I think it’s ruining my sex life. Ever since my breasts formed during puberty my nipples have never been able to erect like most women’s. They don’t pop out and are inverted. This has always made me super insecure during sexual activities, I’m always unwilling to take off my bra or even have my breasts touched or played with. My current sexual partner feels like this restricts us in the bedroom and I feel like he is getting turned off or bored with just half of my sexual organs. I want to feel comfortable to explore things with him but I don’t know how I can overcome what has now become a fear for me. Any tips please?
4. June 2017
Hey hun! Thanks for writing in.. inverted nipples are more common than you think. You just need to try and feel comfortable with whoever you’re having sex with. As a woman it’s natural for you to have your insecurities.. we all do. But I find that if you don’t make a big deal out of them, your partner won’t either. Remember breasts come in all different sizes and shapes, so do not think of yourself as being different.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my gf over a year now and it has been a good relationship. At about 6 months into our relationship we spoke about going on holiday together and I told her I wanted to go on holiday with her but now I really don’t feel like it anymore. Reason is my gf can have serious mood swings. She might be fine one second and then really angry then next and when I try to talk to her about it she acts like nothing’s happened. It’s really difficult to talk to her about it because it’s either “she didn’t realise her mood changed” or she says ” it’s not that deep”. If we are out together and she has mood swings I normally deal with the situation by dropping her home, basically just giving her space. Now she really wants us to go on holiday together and I’m thinking what happens if she’s having her mood swings what do I do then there’s no where to run. I really don’t want to waste money and not have a good holiday but at the same time I don’t want to hurt her feelings by saying I don’t want to go away with her. Have you got any advice?
4. June 2017
Hey hun, thanks for writing in. Yikes..that can’t be easy to cope with. The only thing you should/can do, is to be upfront and tell her how it is. It may not be that ‘deep’ to her, but explain, it’s so deep to you, that you’re thinking long and hard about committing to the holiday.
I also would suggest you try asking her to seek therapy.. I’m a firm believer in thinking that we all need someone who’s a professional that we can speak to from time to time. There must be a real reason as to why her mood changes frequently.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and things have been up and down. My problem is that his homeboys try to get him to sleep with other girls sending him pictures and telling him to sleep with them and discussing their bodies. He doesn’t tell them off. Also he used to date a girl that his friends continuesly give him updates about, it makes me insecure and jealous. I’ve tried talking to him about it but it doesn’t change. I just need some advice.
4. June 2017
That’s so nasty! A partner who can’t correct their friends is not a partner you should want. If he doesn’t speak to his friends, they will only continue their silly behaviour. Have a word with him again and if nothing changes, you need to rethink you relationship.
Oloni
In relation to the girl who said her man has all girls as his best friends on snapchat & he never shows you off, leaveeee please! I was in a similar situation & time and time again I expressed my distaste for it. One day I opened all the conversation up and read those that were saved and it was enough for me to pack my bags and leave. Your gut instinct is always right girl! If u gotta ask someone about it it’s probably dodgy
4. June 2017
Thanks for sharing!
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I spoke to a guy for a while but found out he’s not serious and loves to live the baby boy life, there has been a few times he said he wants to wife me but because of his immaturity now he cannot settle for one girl. He keeps trying to find ways to message me or pree me on my social media. What does this mean?
4. June 2017
It means he wants to waste your time, you know this!
Oloni
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!