Hey Oloni! I know you probs get questions like this all the time but I need advice. A friend of mine who I went to college with recently admitted to me she has feelings for a boy I used to have sex with. We’re all kind of in the same friendship group which is how they know each other but lately they’ve gotten much closer. We’ve been friends for over 5 years now & although we’re not best friends I’d say we were quite close. Is it wrong for me to upset & end our friendship over this even though me & the guy weren’t serious and I have my own partner now. Help me please!x
13. June 2017
Hey love! You’re being super territorial. The relationship you had with this guy wasn’t serious and you’re in an actual relationship now.
Don’t block her blessings, just because it makes you feel a certain type of way. Be mature about it. If this was an ex, I’d get it, but it isn’t.
If you still feel like you don’t approve of your friends new feelings for this guy, speak to her about it and try to distance yourself.
Oloni
Love that you had a lesbian at the laid bare live show and laid bare live online, it would be great to have also a feminine lesbian’s opinion on things too.
13. June 2017
Thank you for your suggestions!
I recently started dating someone who I met in a club. It was all going well until we had sex. The sex was so good but I for some reason stopped having any actual romantic feelings towards him and I can’t see a future. I would like to keep having a sexual relationship though as we all do have needs. He wants to settle down and start a future but that’s clearly not going to be with me as I don’t feel that way about him. Would it be unreasonable of me to tell him we should be friends with benefits?
13. June 2017
It’s not a bad idea, tell him how you feel and see if he’s open to a sexual relationship.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I’m in a very sticky predicament. I have a friend who is a very pretty girl, goes out quite a lot and catches a lot of attention from guys everywhere she goes. I went through her phone recently and found her messaging a guy about the last time they had sex. The messages were quite descriptive and vulgar for it not to be true but the part that shocked me is that the guy is engaged and will soon be getting married. Do I confront her about it or do I not mention it again? Because I don’t know whether it was a one off or if it’s still going on. Their always together nowadays aswell. I don’t want this to get out of hand because she’s my friend but I also don’t know what to do!!!
11. June 2017
Hey hun, thanks for writing in! Is this your friend or your girlfriend? Yes, what she’s doing isn’t morally right.. but it’s none of your business till she tells you herself and asks for your opinion.
Oloni
Hey oloni, I sent this dilemma before but I think you may not have seen it. Anyway I’m a 20 year old girl and I think I have a sex addiction. I have had multiple sexual partners and more time I don’t use protection; whenever I am not preoccupied with something I constantly think about and crave sex. I’m not going to go into detail but I have even lost a friendship because of sex. I know sex is addictive in itself and it is a natural craving (hence why most people who have had sex roast) but ngl mine is proper bad :S like I’m so reckless with it and have had an std recently and still continued to bareback. Is there a way that I can see a councillor or something?
11. June 2017
Heya hun! Thanks for sending this in again. I do receive hundreds of dilemmas and do my best to answer as many as I can. What you’ve explained does sounds like an addiction and it would be extremely wise if you spoke to a professional. Sleeping with someone knowing you have an STI is very irresponsible. You’re putting your health and the person you’re intimate with at a high risk.
Please do check out the link for seeing a sex therapist: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1683.aspx?CategoryID=68
Oloni
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