Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, my heart is heavy. Things ended with this girl I was seeing I had no other choice really felt there was too much emotional attachment on my part but now I literally can’t stop thinking about her. I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but each passing hour/day she occupies my mind. I’ve been keeping busy and all that good stuff but it’s starting to get to me and I kind of feel like a mug for investing so much of myself. What can I do to just move on? 17. July 2017

Heya hun! Thanks for writing into me. Break ups are never quite easy.. especially if you invested a lot of yourself into it. Sadly, there is no magic spell to help get you through it. You just have to be patient and remember why you’re not in that relationship anymore.

Continue to stay busy and do this in various ways. Spend time with friends, pick up a new hobby.. do that one thing you’ve been putting if for months.

You will be fine!

Oloni

Hey Oloni. Me and this girl have been talking for a while on Tinder. We eventually met up in my place and after a few drinks and a few zoots we had sex. After we hooked up we were on good terms and we even spoke about doing it again but eventually I noticed that she started being distant, ignoring my messages and shit so I asked her about it and obviously she lied and said she was busy. I searched her name on Facebook and I came across her page where I saw that she was in a relationship. I called her and asked her about this and she threatened me saying that she was intoxicated when we had sex and she’ll call the police. But it was her idea and she brought the weed. This is crazy because we were both waved and I would never do anything like that. I’m honestly scared and I don’t know what to do. I have just started my career and I’ve got my own place. My parents have moved back home. She even said that they’ll believe her over me because I’m black and she’s white. 17. July 2017

Woah! I’ll be honest with you. It’s never a good idea to have intoxicated sex with someone you’re not that familiar with. I know drunk sex is very normal for plenty of couples but sometimes when you don’t know a person very well you don’t know what they’re capable of.

If posibble try to see if you can get evidence of her making these false claims so you can go to the police about it. Lying about rape is a very serious crime and she should be prosecuted if she says she was.

Oloni

Hey Oloni me and my girl had a huge argument because I asked her if she wanted to eat my a**. It almost sounds comical as I type this. I’ve always wanted to spice things up and try new things in the bedroom and usually she follows suit but this time it didn’t go to plan. She’s offended because she thinks I’m trying to belittle her or treat her like a hoe and she’s called me disrespectful and even went as far as question my sexuality (which she has since apologised for). Now we haven’t had any form of Shit was I totally in the wrong? I just heard that a mans “g-spot” is there and I wanted to know what it’s like. 17. July 2017

I’ll be honest, I giggled and she should have too. Lots of couples are into anal play and it doesn’t mean you’re belittling them.

You’re also absolutely correct on the male gspot. Try to explain this to her. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you soon enough.

Oloni

Hey Oloni my mums quite young as she had me at 17 and I’m 21. I’ve always told her my boyfriend troubles and she’s always been able to give me advice. Even with my now exboyfriend. I thought she was a bit too nice to him but didnt think nothing of it. Anyways i we t through her phone last week and saw her and my boyfriend exchanging nudes and basically talking like they’ve had sex. I confronted my mum and although she apologised can i really forgive her? She said she didnt fuck him btw 17. July 2017

I’m incredibly sorry about what you had to go through. It’s usually two faced friends who end up stabbing you in the back like this, so for it to be your mother must hurt way more.

She should know way better and had absolutely no right to be sniffing around your boyfriend. I think you owe yourself space and time to try and forgive.. because what she did is the furthest thing from okay.

Your mum is the ONLY person on this earth you should be able to trust and she’s swapping nudes with someone you called yours? Nah!

I think with time you should try to forgive her… but space away from her in my opinion is vital. She broke your trust.

Oloni

Hi Oloni. I have been living with my gf for the last 4 months. Since moving in we have had sex less and less to the point it is now non existent. When I have asked her about this she got very defensive and said all her friends have told her this is normal and that I am pressuring her when I was simply trying to talk about it. Recently she has been acting strange. Her ex is having a leaving party and her friends are goongvand she’s telling me I’m trapping her by saying I feel uncomfortable with her wanting to go to this party so much given the context. I’m not sure what’s happening to my relationship – advice? 16. July 2017

Yeah she’s getting very defensive and it also seems like she’s turning to her friends for very bad advice.

In terms of her sexual drive, it is natural for her libido to get high and low whenever and it could be due to work, stresss etc.

I also think it’s weird she’d want to go to an ex’s leaving do. You expressing how uncomfortable you’d be is not a bad thing. However this does allow you to compare both your morals… if the relationship isn’t going well, why not just split up?

Oloni

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