Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, I need help my head is all over the place. I’ve been in a relationship for about 6 years and we have a child together. However I feel like he is such an asshole. He hardly helps with our daughter and often just goes out for hours leaving her with me. I’m exhausted but when I express this he calls me lazy. If I ask him for help or anything he literally launches into a string of abuse calling me stupid worthless etc. I’ve caught him cheating several times but he tells me that I’m imagining things or he’ll flip it and ask why am I stalking him. Saying that he can’t trust me as I used to message other guys when we just got together (this is 6 years ago). I just feel so broken and like a nag, I’m constantly unhappy and he does not ever compliment me. I’ve spent the last few years begging for a date and we’ve only been out once. He’s point blank refuses to even go anywhere with me and our daughter since she was born. I just can’t do it anymore. And when I say I want to leave he starts calling me selfish for wanting to. He says I’m being evil because when I was homeless he took me in. But now I know he has no way of surviving I’m leaving him in it. I’ve never felt so guilty for wanting to be happy. Im just stuck and I don’t know what to do. Help
3. August 2017
Hey my love, thank you so much for writing into me. There are so many women who are in similar positions and I’ve literally spoken to some of them.
The first thing I say? Leave. You need to leave and why? Because he already has. This sort of gaslighting is the absolute worst and the guilt he makes you feel is shameful on his part.
You and your child deserve to be happy! Kids can usually pick up when things at home aren’t okay, so please don’t let your child think what you’re going through is normal.
I can’t express enough how much he needs to be out of the house. So he took you in when you first had a child? Does he think he’s mother thereasa? You were carrying HIS child. You don’t owe him anything. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing who treats you terribly. That isn’t how life works sis.
If he won’t leave, then you should. Find a friend, a family member, go to your council.
He doesn’t deserve your magic.
Oloni
Hi Oloni I need your help. Help a guy this time? I love my ex. I’ve broken up with her and after the third time she said she was done. I understand her side but I just don’t get how if it’s love something this small would be a deal breaker it just doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve been under massive amounts of stress and I know I haven’t treated her good, haven’t treated her the way she deserves to be. She has changed my life monumentally and I do not want to lose her. How can I get her back, I’ve gotten my stress under control and I understand I cannot be impulsive. I’m scared. I love her. Help ?
3. August 2017
Heya! Thanks for writing in. I think you should give her some space and if you still feel the same try calling.. not texting… calling, then explain to her what you explained to me. Perhaps ask to meet up even?
If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
Good luck
oloni
Hi Oloni. I’ve been seeing my partner for quite some time now, when it comes to us everything is great but his ex/babymum moves crazy! Making threats, telling people he’s her man, calling me a home wrecker, side, stalking my social media, even my house, you name it she’s done it… strange girl. Although this is starting to get on my last nerve he just tells me she’s that way in kind and he cannot help how she feels/acts, that she’s still hung up on him but is adamant it has been over since before he met me. I’m beginning to become VERY paranoid and wondering if she is just acting like this due to feeling hurt/being a physco baby mum or… if he is pulling cotton wool over my eyes and still entertaining her. I cannot stress how much this is hurting my head lol help!
3. August 2017
He could be entertaining her but at the same time, he might not be.. either way, this all so messy and no relationship is worth it.
Advice? Why not ask him to set up a meeting with the both of you present, so you can have a conversation about the lies she’s spreading.
She’s the mother of his child, so she’ll always be part of his life. If he doesn’t agree to all three of you meeting up, he could possibly be hiding something.
Oloni
Hey Oloni! Okay so recently Ive been intrigued by vibrators. They seem like they would take my sex life to a different level. The issue is that my boyfriend of 3 years is against it. He thinks that since I want one, i dont want him any more. How can I make him understand that sex toys aren’t bad?
3. August 2017
You educate him! Sex toys don’t replace the guy, it compliments him. It literally makes intimacy much more pleasurable, especially during foreplay.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, first of all I LOVE you and me and my boyfriend scroll this all the time haha! Second of all when are more hergasms being released?
3. August 2017
Hey love! Thank you 🙂 working on some products. Look out for it x
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