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Hi Oloni! So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years, we’ve been seriously talking about marriage and our future together. We had our fingerprints on each other’s phone. A few months ago I had taken a screenshot of something I wanted to send to myself from his phone. When I went to the camera roll to do so, I came across 3 nudes just of the top half that looked like they of same girl. I was shocked to see this so I confronted him and he said one of his boys just sent them to him to show him the girl he was talking to. I mean at the time I said that’s very weird but he insisted and if I’m honest he had never given me a reason not to trust him, he deleted the photos and we left it at that. Then last week my friend messaged me and said she’s seen my man on tinder… She sent me screenshots for me to see, the profile was pretty basic and he only had 2 photos up. So when I asked him about it he said he doesn’t use it he only made it to encourage his friend to get in the dating scene. However my friend said it wouldn’t have shown if it wasn’t active? The next day I wanted to see if the app was there as I hadn’t been on his phone for months, only to find that my fingerprint didn’t work. He said he had to get rid of all of them for some reason. At this point he has an excuse for everything, what do you think I should do?
5. August 2017
Break up. He’s playing you.
Hi oloni, I’m in a same sex relationship with another man and we are doing the long distance thing and it’s working surprisingly well. However, having heard reports of hate crime rising and having watched a programme the other day about people being beaten up for who they love it has really made me question things. I am bi (so is he) and quite straight acting (so much so that not even all my friends know I’ve been in a relationship for the best part of s year). We are very private people but recently he’s wanting to be more open with his affection in public but I feel uncomfortable about it, especially because of the hate crime. Genuinely never felt like this before in a relationship but I feel like other aspects outside of my control are making this more difficult. Any advise? (Sorry if this is a rambling mess, fairly drunk)
5. August 2017
Hey love thanks for writing in. Liquid courage is also the best.
It’s sickening that people are commitng hate crimes based on sexuality. I saw a doc yesterday also and it bothered me a lot that, still in 2017 people don’t want to mind their own bloody business.
You deserve to be unapologetic, you deserve to be happy and live your truth.
Finding a connection is so rare at times, so please speak up. Talk to your partner, share your fears with him. Explain why you’re worried. I’m sure he’ll be understanding.
Oloni
Hi oloni, me and my bf have been together for almost two years now and his parents do not talk to me yano, no “hi, how you doing” or “nice to see you”, they are literally not interested in me whatsoever and it makes me uncomfortable. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and he says it’s just how they are but I find it rude and un-welcoming. My family always make an effort with my bf and it hurts me that his aren’t even the slightest bit interested in me. The problem is, I feel like we’re too far into the relationship to change this now as I feel like if we were gonna break the ice, it would have happened a long time ago. Lol. What can I do to try and encourage them to talk to me more as it upsets me tbh.
4. August 2017
I think it’s sweet you want his family to speak to you more. It’s odd that they don’t to be quite honest. Why not have a family meal with them? Ask the bf to sort out something where they HAVE to communicate.
Good luck hun!
oloni
Hey oloni. I keep attracting older men and its really bugging me.i am 19 and cant seem to attract guys my age even when I dress and behave like your average 19 year old. Its especially a problem since older mwn including friends fathers ,uncles , family friends, priests etc. make advances even when I make it clear i’m not interested. What can I do? This has been ongoing from a young age and I wouldnt class myself as fully mature.
4. August 2017
Old men always try to talk to younger women. Try different ways of seeking new love interets. E.g dating apps.
You can filter the age limit, so you don’t get men who are way older swiping right.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, my girl of 4 years broke up with me last year. we were separated for about a month and she ended up coming back to me and I took her back because I seriously loved her. fast forward to 2 weeks ago, a close friend of hers (who is also a mutual friend with me from before the relationship) told me that whilst we were apart she had sex with an old flame a few times, initially I did not mind because we were not together but i asked who the guy was and did some digging and after being a little more observant, I discover that she still talks to this guy regularly and still likes his post on social media and vice versa she also hangs out with a lot of his friends and I’m sure he must have been there a few times. I don’t know what to do, what makes this even more frustrating is that her reason for breaking up with me is that she had lost attraction for me. I don’t want to become a paranoid person because she came back to me after all but the fact that she’s still in contact with him at all bugs me out. Do I address it and drag our friend into it or just walk away from the whole situation.
3. August 2017
You have to bring it up, it clearly makes you uncomfortable. Her getting back with you doesn’t mean you have to hide all your feelings.
Yes, you weren’t together when she got with someone else, but she should know your thoughts on the closeness of her and the old flame.
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