Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
I once met a guy online, he was caring, funny, hardworking, family oriented and ambitious. We clicked instantly when we started calling each other, we spoke for 5 months and finally we decided to meet in person. I travelled to his area and took a friend with me, however when we got to the place we were supposed to meet up, he said he’d be 5 minutes with one of his friends. After an hour, him and his friend(s) finally showed up (me and my friend only expected him and one of his friends) however, there was 3 of them. We got into the car and it took us less than 30 seconds to get to the place they had left to come and get us, so already this was a red flag. When we got to his friends, there was 6 other guys in the room and they were all friendly however we felt a little bombarded with people. All of them started to try and fuck my friend and she got into arguments with all of them over the course of the night. Finally most of them left and it was just me and my friend, plus him and his friend. Obviously my friend and his got a lil too comfortable with each other, and decided it would be acceptable to have sex in the same bed as me and this guy I was seeing whilst we were trying to sleep. The next day, my friend was still being difficult and me and the guy I was seeing got into a huge row, which ended up in us travelling home that night. However as we were leaving he came storming out of the apartment yelling at me saying ‘you’re not done with me, you know you’re not done with me’ and as I told him to move out of my way he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me up against the wall, strangling me telling me to message him the second I got into the taxi to go to the coach station. Due to my friend causing a lot of unnecessary drama, I refused to talk to her on our way home as she was part of the reason me and the guy I was seeing got into a huge row. 6 and a half hours later we reached home and I didn’t speak to my friend. A week later, I got a message from my friend, not apologising for the way she behaved and putting us in a dangerous situation (by creating beef with everyone we didn’t know) she messaged me to tell me that in fact, she was now in a relationship with the guy I was seeing. That was the day I learned that hoes were only out for themselves and you can never trust someone you have never met or don’t 100% know.
13. August 2017
Oh wow
Hey Oloni, I’ve been single for two and a half years now, and I’ve been in situations when there was potential for some guys to be bae but it never happens 🤷🏾♀️. So I met this guy a month ago on a dating/social app and then it led to phone conversations and he eventually came round mine, we chilled smoked but didn’t go all the way. We’ve gone to eat and I’ve chilled with his people. But for the past week now, it just seems like the whole thing is off. I told him I liked him and he said aww that’s a good sign (lol ok) so now I regret even saying that. He works two jobs now, so he hardly has time, he would probs take a day to reply to my messages, but I can see he’s a bit active on snap. The type of person I am, is when I feel like it’s a waste of time I just walk away, but it’s early days. I just don’t know if he’s into me or not. Should I stay patient and see if it would get anywhere or do you think he’s not into me?
13. August 2017
He doesn’t like you hun.. and that’s fine, because someone out there will share their love with you FIRST and have mutual feelings.
Oloni
Hey oloni Ive been with my bf for 4 years and honestly Ive started resenting him due to the fact he brings no value or purpose to my life.i feel like he’s just there I hardly see him even though we are not far from each other and we don’t do anything like go out,spend time together.i feel like he contacts me when I’m bored and in the beginning he was alright with being there but now it’s like I feel annoyed seeing his face.like last week he saw me shopping and came over and I just started saying in my head ‘Ughhh not this prick wtf does he want’.i really feel like he has caused me to feel this way I’m so jealous of my friends who have boyfriends who tend to their every need.They get taken on dates ,get given gifts and see their boyfriends regularly and the way they talk about their men I wish I could do the same.my bf has probably taken me out 3 times in those for years,missed three of my birthdays and got angry when my friends took me out on my birthday claiming that’s why he ain’t do nothing.i don’t feel comfortable in asking him to come round just to chill and talk cos he bores me and all he talks about is sexual stuff more time.because of this Ive stopped having sex with him (8 months now) and have
13. August 2017
Dump him!
Hi oloni, two months ago I met this girl and from the get go we have instantly connected. We understand each other and feels like we’ve known each other for years even though it’s only been two months. We’ve been on 3 dates (which would of been a lot more if she wasn’t traveling abroad with her family lol) so far and I’ve never met anyone like her in terms of understanding me as an individual. Shes told me she’s never met someone like me and that im what she’s looking for. She’s displayed girlfriend qualities I look for so far and herself has hinted at wanting a relationship and I’m feeling the same way aswell. And I’m a guy who follows my gut instinct when wanting something. However, over a week ago I went on a night out for my friends birthday and usually at the stage where I’m single and not dating anyone too deeply I approach other women and for that night I didn’t have the urge to because of how well things are going with the girl I’m currently seeing. One of my other friends questioned why I wasn’t approaching women baring in mind he knows how well things are going with me and started going along the lines of “you’ll mess yourself up” “don’t put your egg into one basket” “what are you going to do if the girl just stops talking to you?” Baring in mind I have been on dates with 4 other girls (which didn’t progress) before meeting the one I’m currently seeing, so I certainly wasn’t putting my eggs into one basket. He even said when he was in a relationship that he was still approaching women as usual and exchanging their numbers but said he don’t do anything with them which in my opinion is asinine and a waste of time. After all that I’m getting the vibe that he there might be a bit of jealousy on his side even though he’s claimed he’s happy I met someone I really like. It feels like he’s trying to put doubts into my head about the girl I’m seeing, negative thoughts which I don’t need. I will not be influenced into making rash decisions based on someone else’s opinion and because of what happened last week I have been quite a bit distant from him in particular. I will not let any girl destroy my other friendships I have but at the same time I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m constantly getting barraged with negative comments. How should I deal with this situation?
13. August 2017
I hope you ask this lady out (officially) you sound happy and seem to have found someone who’s right for you.
Your friend sounds like he doesn’t want to lose a wing man, it’s irritating.. but you do need to have a stern word with him, just say ‘I’m not interested’.
You can’t guilt someone into talking to other women, just because you think they might be putting all their eggs in one basket. Your love life isn’t his business.
Talk to him and let him know he needs to lay off.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been in a committed relationship with my man for almost a year now (flew out to see him for two weeks, long distsnce for 6 months amd then summer). Things were perfect but lately he’s different. I’m not naive so I pay attention to the signs, he stopped trying to make plans with me, he said hurtful things like he doesn’t love me as much as he used to and last Saturday he blocked me off his phone because I called him out on lying to me about secretly going out with the boys and ditching me when he was meant to pick me up. Today I went through his phone, not only is his password this “zara” babe’s name, all the pet names he used to call me he calls her. I called him out on it and he keeps lying she’s just “someone he talks to”. I broke up with him yesterday after what happened on Saturday and he begged me yesterday and I took him back. But today? It’s a whole new ball game. I love this man and I’ve invested so much into him, my love , my support, my time and my patience. I don’t want the relationship to be over but I can’t ignore the signs. Should I leave him? Is this just a phase? Or is he taking advantage of me and my love and trying to eat his cake and have it?
13. August 2017
He’s not the one hun. In fact you answered your own question towards the end of this dilemma.
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