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Hi oloni- My girlfriend slapped me mid argument. This isn’t the first time she’s done this. I nearly lost all self control I was almost about to punch her. I left the apartment right away. I want to press charges but she has a good investment banking job and this would be detrimental to her career. But I’ve had enough of this woman, in one argument she even said “I can’t wait till I cheat on you”. She’s apologised for all this but I really can’t stand this. I feel like pressing charges is the only way I can get back at her. Love has turned to hate and I’m trying to rationalise my decisions now. I’m almost certain if this was the reverse the coppers would be on my ass by now if I hit her. Nobody takes male domestic violence seriously which is why I feel like this may just all blow up in my face. I’ve tried to end it a few times but she won’t leave me alone. I need advice on what to do
9. August 2017
Male domestic violence IS very serious and I see no reason why you shouldn’t report her. Maybe that’ll teach her to keep her hands to herself.
Block her off everything and if she does come into contact with you again go to the police. The relationship is unhealthy and needs to end immediately.
Please try talking to friends you trust, so you can confide in them as what she’s put you through is very damaging.
I hope you heal from this all.
Oloni
So I found out I had genital herpes 3 years ago. I was devastated and I’ve only been able to get back into dating recently. But every single guy I’ve met right before we get to the sex I inform them I have herpes and they look at me with pure disgust. I haven’t had a break out in over six months and I tell them this and of course it’s there choice to stop pursuing things with me but it just makes me feel so unwanted. There was once a guy who I got a bit too excited with and whilst we were kissing (I didn’t plan on it going further than kissing) slipped his finger down my pants and started fingering me. I forgot what it felt like but once I came to my senses pushed him off me and told him. He looked at me with disgust. He had a full bottle of vodka and doused it on his entire hand right in front of me then ran off. I never felt so dirty in life. So my question is how do I go about dating with herpes? I feel like I can never be intermit with anyone ever again…
9. August 2017
Hey hun! I’m so dissapointed to hear how some men have treated your situation, the truth is.. they probably don’t even understand what herpes is.
At the same time, be glad it didn’t work out with these guys as they aren’t the type of men you should aspire to be with.
When you do find someone else you like, once you sense things can become intimate let them know you have herpes. ASK if they know what it is.. chances are if you deliver it as if it’s life threatening, they’ll react the same way.
Do not be afaid to live your life hun. Use condoms, use dating apps, go out more and get to know some new men!
Oloni
So I’m a black trans woman who lives in London that is very cis passing. You wouldn’t be able to tell if I were born male if you looked at me thanks to hormones and expensive surgery. My issue is I love black men and in London there isn’t much black LGBT support or visibility so it’s very hard to find attractive guys. I don’t want to lead a cisgender man on just for it to fall back on my face when I tell him I’m trans. I have a friend who’s trans who did that, she sucked a mans dick and then later told him he was trans. The man committed suicide because he felt so disgusted by all of it. I know this is a extreme but I don’t want anything like that happening to me. How do you suppose I try find black men who are into trans women in London?
9. August 2017
Thanks for messaging in! It’s always best to be honest, but only when you feel comfortable enough to and before intimacy.
I’m not completely sure how big or small or the black LGBT community is here, however they’re out there, you just need to find them.
Use facebook, Meet Up, dating apps such as Trans. Try Twitter and Instagram too.
Hope I was able to help!
Oloni
Hey Oloni! So what are your thoughts on being the financial provider as the woman in the relationship? My boyfriend is always in need of money and I’m kinda tired of always dishing out money (even large amounts). I have goals of my own but I’m always helping him with his personal problems. What should I do?
9. August 2017
He’s sponging off you and that’s not fair. The issue here is you not being able to say ‘no’.
It’s not a bad thing to want to help anyone you love and care for, but from what you’ve shared on Simply Oloni it sounds like he’s taking advantage.
It’s unfair.
Please, get rid. He needs a job, not a sugat mama.
Oloni
Hey oloni, i just came back from Napa 2 weeks ago. i dont know how to tell my boyfriend of 3 years that 2 6ft hench black guys blew my back out. wildest experience of my life. It’s his birthday next week friday and i really wanna get this off my chest asap..
9. August 2017
Allow him to enjoy his birthday and tell him after. Have a conversation about the whole thing. Do you know why you did it? Explain as much as you can without making excuses.
Cheating is wrong, but it’s important to know why you decided to be disloyal.
Perhaps this relationship just isn’t for you anymore.
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